Am I being just wimpy?

[Maya-]

I haven't suffered any traumatic event, thanks God I have a wonderfull childhood and there are to many things that I should be thankful. One of them is the opportunity of studying a PhD abroad. It was something that I really wanted and I knew it wasn't going to be easy but, now my dream has become my nightmare, the stress and loneliness are killing me. What is wrong with me?

[Midnightwolf1]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. It could be you being overwhelmed or minor depression. I mean I don't know cause I don't know you but I can relate in my own way. I had an ok childhood. I come from a divorced family, me moving around a lot, A step mother who was a bitch to me 75% of the time and a mother was is about the same but they are both changing and my step mother isn't even my step mother anymore. I like to think my childhood has a neglected childhood. I am doing ok in school and am studying to me a children's cancer doctor and going to go into the military which are my dreams but I suffer from major depression and minor anxiety. I'm also slightly paranoid someone is watching me. But I don't think there is anything to wrong with me so I don't think there is anything wrong with you but just how you are feeling. Hope things get better.

~Sky

[Maya- in reply to Midnightwolf1]

I know is all in our heads! It just I can control my anxiety and the negative thoughts, those "shoulds", my insecurities, the need to be in control and perfect, the fear to fail.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Maya-]

Maybe it is and maybe it isn't in our heads. I know how you feel about all of that. The need to be perfect and accepted with no fail. I get it, eventually everything will even it self out and it won't be so hard, Just keep going and don't give up. I'm sure you can make it through

[gogogirl in reply to Maya-]

Who told you to be perfect? No one is perfect- most of all some of our politicians!

[Hidden in reply to Midnightwolf1]

Are you under a doctors care?

[Maya- in reply to Hidden]

I can't afford it. That type of treatments are only covered by my insurance if I uses the university well center. The problem is I'm living outside campus, in a research station in the middle of no where. Just to get an idea the nearest convenience store is 1 hora away. So I'm practically isolated.

[Hidden in reply to Maya-]

How much longer till you are done with your research?

[Maya- in reply to Hidden]

One year and a half more, but I have been in this situation for 2 years already. I'm tired, every time is more difficult to find my strength and keep going.

[Hidden in reply to Maya-]

How Important is finishing your PhD to you? You have a masters. It’s not like you couldn’t find work without the PhD. Can you take a sabbatical from your research? Maybe return after you have recouped?

[hypercat54 in reply to Maya-]

Can you move closer to town? You wouldn't be so isolated then. Another option maybe is to finish your Phd in your own country nearer relatives and friends. x

[Billsfriend in reply to Maya-]

I have found really good advice at both Alcoholics Anonymous, and from some Churches. Know that a lot of AA and NA meetings are open to all who want to attend, regardless of whether you have that problem.

[Hidden]

The only thing wrong with you is that you are human. Any human person would be lonely while studying abroad.

[gogogirl]

Well, if you are in another country, I imagine that can be difficult. Welcome though, and congrats on your phD!