This post is too long but it would make me really happy if you read it

[sarahsfeelings]

I'm feeling very very very lonely and sad right now

I just can't stop thinking about the friends i've lost and how little they've cared about me not being in their life anymore

I spent a few seconds looking at my highschool "friends" profile pictures and i felt so lonely, i know you can not and should not judge based on a picture but they all seemed so happy and fine and i realized that everyone around me or on social media has made some progress or change, their lives have changed somehow but i'm the same lonely depressed person who studies hard all day everyday. hell i've gotten even lonlier and more depressed

I don't talk to anyone i just spend all my days at home getting choked up every few minutes, thinking about the past, the future and all the people that i knew, the people who do not even think about me for a second anymore

I'm so physically and mentally tired and i can't do anything about it it just hurts so much when you look around and realise that days are going by and you're just living life with no motivation and that you're just getting more and more depressed the most important years of my life have passed and i haven't done anything

I've realized that i have always been isolated even when i was a kid i had no friends and my dad would always yell at me and my mom, and i had to watch them having fights and watch my mom cry and then it was my turn to get yelled at

Even when i was at school i only had one friend who was also very lonely and had the exact same problems at home, now i don't even know where she is

My childhood wasn't fun at all and i'm still suffering from the consequences of living in a sad house with an intense atmosphere

And again in highschool i had only one best friend and i kept telling her that i felt very lonely, we never hung out outside of school in public places and whenever i setup plans i'd cancell them in the last minute even though i really wanted to socialize. i'd tell her that i felt lonely and having only one friend isn't normal but she kept saying it's enough, finally i suddenly stopped talking to her after 5 years of on and off friendship and now i kinda regret it, maybe i should've tried harder but she has moved on and it's too late and our lives are just so different. and then there was this guy who was older than me but we were really good friends and we'd have deep conversations and we could talk for hours about anything and i was told multiple times by him that i'm a great friend, i was so happy it was a fun time in my life but after 2 years of friendship we met each other for one last time and he left the town and never even texted me (he wasn't really a text kinda person either but still) i tried to understand, he was older than me he had his life and i wasn't really his concern you know...but i still felt really sad. Now he's moved back and he texted me and i told him that we could meet and he even suggested a place and time but i was busy and said we can meet the week after but i never heard from him again...

now I'm at university and i always for some reason thought that it would be different once you graduate highschool and enter this new place i thought i was gonna make at least 2 good friends but i just don't like anyone i can't find like-minded people and honestly i don't have the energy to put into making a new friend anymore, and at the same time i'm really tired of the loneliness i don't know what to do

There is not one person in my mobile phone contasts that i feel like i can call, just to talk to...

Somebody please help me i'm really terrified of a future with no friends or a significant other i'm afraid that i'm never gonna be able to love someone or to be loved.

I'm afraid that i'm just gonna repel anyone who tries to get to know me and get close to me.

[Poodlefanforlife]

Hi Sarah. I’d suggest deleting your social media accounts. If you don’t have a job, you should get one. It’ll keep your mind busy and many times great friendships come from coworkers.If you want to continue friendships, you do need to make efforts to continue talking, not cancelling plans to meet etc.

[Hidden in reply to Poodlefanforlife]

brilliant!!!! advice (im literally jum;ping up and down!)))

remember- all the kids and families at ST Judes and our veterans are dying to get cards, letters anytingt to help keep them going...they never reject and it can help having a cause in ones life.....u can buy inexensiv cards or make ur own is tons of fun too.....they dont hav to be master pieces - they will love anhting u do......same with animal shelters- shed the animals a valentiines card!! The people here are fantastic about being enthussistic about helping others and helping any of us feel not needed and isolated.....so keep in touch withthe people here...i have learned soo much from them....or hey......adopt them and send people hello ecards etc.....cant tell freinds enough how much they do for us and how much they mean to us now can we.....

St Judes ecards- any of us can help make a difference

get on a food bank service or in church help services

tutor - help others at the colllege who are lost and overwhelmed with school...(a universal)

people here are very veery kind and im senduing a group giant box of hugs and bears not from me but the group here.....oooh 10 thousand groups hugs and teddy bears....

like carol kinds sings on utube....u have feinds

[Miguel267]

It's not too late for you. You can still make some friends. I am not there sorry about that. I really wish I could help.

[Hidden]

Hi, i read your post (get happy now 😅). You say you don't have many friends, i think many more people are here who feel exactly the same. But remember, life changes, right? I am pretty sure you won't be like this for long. You will definitely make some good friends who will be always there for you to help you, support you and stand by your side. You can even make some friends here. There are a lot of helpful people here who can provide you the support you need to get through this. One thing that caught my eye is you said you study all day long, I'm literally the same and i can assure that i feel exactly the same that I'm lonely but I would then divert my mind from this thought and try to listen some music. And don't even ask about the social media, it's full of people faking happiness and showing others how much they enjoy but most of the times it's exactly the opposite. This forum is much much better than social media, where at least people tell the truth about their life and discuss their problems openly. A friend taught me that those who think they are unworthy, they are actually worthy because the unworthy doesn't think that he's unworthy. So if you believe that you aren't worthy to be loved, you actually are worthy, Don't forget that!.Pardon me if it got a bit long, i just wanted to share anything that can help you feel better. (Plus it's 2 am here and it's just late night thoughts😅)

Take care

[Roxylox]

You are very young, lots of time to find friends, or for friends to find you.Maybe you could join a group activity with a common interest.

Restrictions have eased a lot now.

[misslillie]

Sounds like you are suffering from childhood trauma and abuse. Lots of info on the web. Google Brene Brown and look for her in YouTube. She has helped enlighten me.

You are normal. There is a great disconnect in our society. Lots of loneliness. This site is a good place to find comfort and compassion

[Kainan]

Hi. I totally get what you wrote cause it’s literally the same with me. Only child. Never learned how to make friends. Always preferred to isolate from others…. You say that none of your peers care about you, but do you make an effort to take an interest in them? You can make that first move. No need to wait for others to do it. You’d be waiting a very long time. I understand you study all the time, and that’s great keep at it!

I would also suggest that you perhaps study with friends or attend a study group if possible. It’s gonna be different but you’ll develop those connections you’re looking for. I’m trying to do that more too even if I don’t get as much studying done.

Another thing I’ll say is find ways to join in on conversations your peers are having. When they’re talking about something that you can relate to, you can add to there discussion with your own point of view.

I don’t think anyone can expect to make friends with anyone. It’s an ebb and flow. Friends come into our lives and can just as easily go. Nothing is guaranteed. But we can always make an effort and see where things lead.

[Miguel267 in reply to Kainan]

This is a very good start

[Kitten58]

Hi Sarah. I am like you in that I never had many friends. I did not fit in with any of the clicks in high school. The first solution I tried was drugs. I was still lonely, just didn't feel it. That is until I slept and woke up the nest day. Then it was 10 time worse. I had a Narcissistic mother, Mental and Emotional abuse, which led to 2 narcissistic wives. Now I am a 61 year old man living with 2 cats. Not the crazy cat man. I am Cat-Man-Do, say it fast. C-C-C-C-Catmando. any way. first get your head out of the past. I learned the hard way that you can't change the past. You may for a short time rationalize it to seem like it was different, but it wasn't. The past is only good for teach lessons. Thomas Edison once said "I did not fail. I just found 10,000 way not to make a light bulb. Find a way to keep your head in the present. What was the turtles name from kong fu panda? The past is a memory, the future a day, the present is a gift, thus it is called the present. I agree with Poolefanforlife. Most often Social Media is downer. a good way to become depressed. delete them. Check out Nami.org. You may find a group near you that you can go to and share your experiences with other. Get a job is a way to keep busy and maybe find friends. True friend that care about you. Hobbies are good. also. I wish I had awoke when I was your age. Still having the best years of my life ahead of my. If the people you are with are not interested in listening to you, find a better class of loser. 😁

[Lve2dance]

We are here for you 💋 I am not on social media myself.. I am on linked in but only industry related, and I reconnected with family on Facebook. You are a beautiful person... When I was growing up there were not even cell phones. Bullies did not hide behind electronic devices.

[Daveacr1959]

Some people need friends some people are loners. I always had a friend or 2 before I got married. But the friends were just someone to work out with, or go out to meet girls with. We never lasted as friends. Once I got married and had kids , my life has been devoted to my family. Now I know I am rare. Most people I see feel friends are important. Try this to ease the loneliness. Volunteer for a cause you believe in a charity. You will meet people. Get involved in activities, jogging running club or going to the gym etc . Or whatever your excercise of choice yoga you get it . To feel better practice the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. And do his cool shower daily therapy.

[DIsneyQueen]

Sarah feelings, I agree, get rid of social media. There are lots of lonely people at college. Look around your classes and you will see some one who could use a friend. You will find that you really have lots to give and there are people out there longing for you

[HisChild4ever]

Dear Sarah,

I am very glad you wrote and I am also sorry about how difficult and lonely your life is! My life has also been lonely and not very easy. Thankfully, we have a God who cares about all of us and we are not truly alone.

Sarah, you seem like a smart and very responsible young woman and you also seem to have a good heart. You are definitely not worthless or inferior to anybody!

I am sorry that you don't have that many friends! I know what that is like and for some of us finding friends does not happen automatically and we can pray to God to bless us with good friends.

Sometimes the people who seem to be the happiest or the most fortunate are the most loneliest people of all. In the end, what gives us genuine joy and happiness in our hearts is having a relationship with God.

Being close to God does not mean that we will no longer suffer. It just means that we will have a Heavenly Father on whom we can count.

There are many of us who have experienced real loneliness and suffering and I am very sorry about all the bad things that have happened to you and the pain you feel in your heart!

I really hope that God provides you comfort and happiness and a wonderful romantic partner.

Talk to Him and ask Him to give you the blessings you desire, and reach out, and maybe you can join a church, and you could also find yourself a counselor who will listen to you and give you guidance.

It is important to do things that will help us and bring about the changes we need in our lives.

God bless you so much!