I cant sleep

[Heyyouthere33]

This will be triggering for those of us who have lost a dear pet.

I'm gonna be honest, I haven't felt this anxious and this overwhelmed in a while.

I found out on the 1st of January that my long time dog has heart failure. I took her out of the hospital and brought her back home for one last day with the family. We all said our goodbye and I spent the day just being with her, cuddling her, I'm just making sure she's OK. I was mostly fine the most of the day, ran through the stages of grief( sorta). And now when it's time for us to sleep I haven't been able to because just in a few hours I have to take her back to the vet to put her down.

And all I'm thinking is wow I've had her for 10 years, she's been sleeping in my bed for 10 years right by my side next to my ribs for 10 years. She has seen me through my highest highs and my lowest lows and everything in between. Has been my best friend and my emotional support animal through all the panic attacks and Anxiety attacks I've had. I don't know how I'm going to adjust the life without her. It's gonna feel strange to sleep without her, watch TV without her, walk through my neighborhood without her , go to the park our favorite without her. I don't know how I'm going to cope. This part of life is really hard. This is so heartbreaking, Like a part of my heart will always be with her and I'm gonna be left with a huge hole. I guess I'm just anxious for how my life is gonna be after this, how I'm going to react when the doctor finally puts her down I can only put you down. If I'll be able to sleep at night without her.

I have lost pets before when I was younger but this one's different because she chose me and I chose her. It really did feel like we were destined to be with each other. I just hope that 1 day her spirit will find her way back to me, I think that's the only thing that's saving me from having a complete meltdown.

I didn't know anywhere else to express my feelings. I hope I'll be OK, And I graciously will take any advice anyone can give me.

I know to some people, she may be just a dog but to me she was more, she was a life companion.

[b1b1b1]

I understand exactly how you feel. My dog was put down after a very long and happy life. The grief was terrible for me. That was ten years ago and I am just now thinking about getting another one. I cannot think about her very much or I being to cry again, even now.

It is very difficult. I think it is about the same as losing a person. My heart goes out to you.xx

[hypercat54]

I emphasise with you and am so sorry you are having to do this. Been there got the T-shirt. If you are anything like me you will collapse in floods of tears at the vets, so take someone with you.

A pet is not just a pet but a beloved companion and it's like a family bereavement. You are doing what any good owner does and making sure she doesn't suffer. I know this won't help at the moment but it will in time.

I am thinking of you. Take care xx

[Lilcake]

They are never just a “dog” they’re our companions. I just lost my sweet boy to CHF and my pup now was recently diagnosed with Evans Syndrome so I constantly worry. You’re not alone the grief of the lose of our beloved is overwhelming. I try to remember the good times and celebrate his life because he would want me too. But the heartache is very painful. Somedays I find if I cry it out it helps. I also journal quit s bit on my phone or I’ll text my therapist who knows it’s me journaling to her for her to read later. I find that has helped and become therapeutic. I use to text her all day every day however, now it’s gotten to the point where I’m only needing to journal to her when there are serious issues arising. I’m so sorry about you sweet beloved pet. It’s like losing a child. But remember what you’ve done is the most selfless act of kindness and love you can give.

[Heyyouthere33 in reply to Lilcake]

Thank you. I appreciate that. This really resonated with me.