I mean, there is my family and friends who care about me sure. But I’m talking for me, what I want. I know it’s the depression talking. It’s just so draining. To feel like your whole life you’ve really not had many interests. And I have nobody really close to me I care about that much.
Yes, I am on medication. I’m currently on a mood stabilizer I’ve been on for years, and I’m starting a new anti depressant. I know that can make your mood more low befor it starts to work. I was already feeling feelings of low self worth etc before I started taking them so it’s hard to even tell if it’s the meds causing this or just my normal depressed feelings.
I’m not even excited for Christmas. My family isn’t that bad but Meh. Christmas isn’t magical or exciting or anything. I just enjoy the food and maybe watching my niece open presents. It comes and then it’s over in 2 seconds. I have a bit of time off in the new year where I’ll be alone a lot. Lately in my alone time I’ve just been sleeping a lot. So I won’t have to think all of these hateful thoughts. I’m not coping very well lately and it sucks. Idk if I never really knew how. I think maybe it’s gotten worse since I’m finally opening up to how much I truly hate my true self. I want to accept it but I can’t. Not sure where else to go with this post so I’ll end it here.
Btw my doctor, mom and therapist are aware of the suicidal thoughts. I am not going to do anything. Jus through the yall should know
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Your words really touched me, you reminded me of the first day I decided i need help and i went for my first day in therapy, i was so afraid having no hope and nothing to live for. I had been there my dear and i can feel how it’s, and it’s really hard, yet it worth it. But my dear i am glad you are here in the journey with us, some people that I know still stuck there don’t know what they have or what is going on. But you are strong and brave enough to take the first step in a great journey. It will be like waves sometimes you will be so good, others all people that love you and all of us will be there holding your hand to pass it. Depression is like a black glass, nothing is clear so don’t think too much now about what you see, give yourself the time and you will remember that and laugh. You will enjoy the journey as you will see how it will shape yourself. You have the strength in you that you can come here and speak yourself, and that strength will carry you and hold you. Always remember you are not alone, whatever you feel is valid and this place is a temporary place just pushing you to go somewhere better, don’t quit and we are all here for you I am sending you all my love, be fine
Thank you for your words. It’s tough. I’ve been seeing a therapist for over a year and a half and I guess sometimes I find her helpful. But sometimes I feel like I’m worse than when I started with her. I’ve stopped seeing her 3 times becuase I didn’t think it was working. Maybe she’s not the right one for me. But i am paying a reduced rate to see her… and my mom is paying for that. Anything more and I’m going to have to start paying for it and I don’t really have the money for it . And I just hate the process of starting with a new therapist. I’ve done it so many times
I understand totally how you feel. I am in a daily battle for my life and mind. I am taking medication but stopped seeing a therapist as we just didn’t click plus she frequently cancelled on me and I need consistency. I know I need to find a new therapist but I’m tired of telling and hearing my sad story. I don’t want to die, and yet I don’t want to live. It’s 24/7 and I wish it would just end.
I saw this on a Mel Robbins video on YouTube the other day. She says it ll change your life. She said to high-five yourself in the mirror and say something good.
It's not good that you're having these passive thoughts on suicide. Try to find what gives you hope. An inspirational saying or poem, a song you like, a good book to read. People you can talk to. I don't like this time of year at all, and January is really tough to get through.
Hello . I am sorry you are having a hard time at the moment . But I am glad you have friends and family to support you play your getting help from your therapist and doctor . Yes your a right anti depressants can have a negative impact on your moods and anxiety to start with and can take a few weeks to notice any improvements. Sometimes the dose or actual medication needs changing so don't be discouraged if it takes more than one attempt to get it right .
Try not to beat yourself up about not enjoying Christmas , it's okay not to be excited about the holidays . Personally I find this time of year really bad for my anxiety / depression , so your definitely not alone if your not feeling festive .
I know it's hard but over sleeping is not good for anxiety or depression . Even though it's hard when your alone . Sticking to a bedtime routine will help your mood in the long run . And just getting up showering and getting dressed are very positive things and if that is all you do then that is still a great step and a start in the right direction .
Going outside ( in nature if possible ) ,doing some physical activity are simple ways to help improve your mood .
I also find journalling and mediating very helpful .
Opening up is very difficult thing to do , well done for doing this , this is a great step forward . Sometimes when we let out our emotions or things we been holding on for a long time , we have to work through our emotions and thoughts again , which can mean re living though the pain . However when we come out the otherside with a better perspective or healthy coping mechanisms . Which will improve our metal health in the long run .
Did you therapist give you any thing to do / work though when your not in session ?
There are millions of people in hospitals right now, fighting for another chance to hopefully live. So I beg to differ that life is not worth living. Try this.. get 6-8 hours of sleep. Before you get out of bed, do a round of the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. Then get 30-40 minutes of cardio exercise daily. To help with depression and anxiety. And here is the game changer. Then take a 5 minute cold shower. Start out at 70 degrees. And lower the temperature 2 degrees per week. In 2-4 days you will feel better.
Many of us feel low at This time of year; when everyone is jolly, with mistletoe and holly, and other things ending in 'olly'.* But I'll tell you a secret; Most of us aren't.
Housewives shouldered with the burden of all the festive cooking, trying to remember the timings, kids running around still scraping knees, falling of their new bikes or whatever, clearing up the messes when Grandpa dozes off and drops coffee on himself, Older kids stuck in front of computer screens, Dad already well into the booze, and Grandma complaining it 'isn't like it used to be in My day', and lecturing you on how to cook. And then the clearing up with everyone else three sheets to the wind and the kids on sugar highs.
Lovely! NOT. And you haven't had a minute to yourself!
It's no wonder Mums get snappy with folk not helping or taking care of the kids while the work goes on. And for churchgoers it must be even harder. They fall into bed totally exhausted and have to do most of it again the next day!
I don't know what it's like at Thanksgiving, and I'm giving thanks for that as I'm in UK. Roll on the Queen's Christmas Message! (I'm joking!)
Thank you for sharing. I can really relate to the being alive but no one understanding how dead you feel in your head and the deep thoughts you have. Does the medication help at all?
I stay on my meds, too. Meds can prevent you from having episodes. No one likes going in a psy ward. So, try to stay on the meds. God bless.
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i am so tired of living like this 
Cant live like this anymore. Help!!
Feeling something and then nothing
I need help. What's the point in living like this 
