Nothing sticks and feeling empty

[Starrlight]

Angry. Empty. Lonely. Feeling defeated. Sick and tired and for it guilt plagues me maybe because also I haven’t succeeded in getting over anxiety. I feel hate toward my existence. I want to die tonight. I need to die. Why do I keep swinging back and forth? Why am I so annoying? When I plunge I plunge deep. I feel like more than one person and that I don’t belong anywhere. The illlness keeps me from freedom and from showing some people that I love them sometimes. I isolate and evade. But I try so hard also, to just be, and maybe I try too hard and care too much. I care. So much bothers me. Just got into a fight with a loved one. Feeling alone in misery. Nothing that I find that helps me seems to stick. I find another new way that I become excited about because it starts helping and that too looses its effectiveness.

[Want2BHappy3]

Hi Starr, you sound the lowest anyone could sound? I know how you feel though. I've been in the DARK place too. I've felt hopeless and worthless.

What is my purpose in LIFE??? My sister who I thought would support me, isn't.

That makes me SAD😞 I've been there for my siblings in their time if need. Not that I did what I did because I expected anything...just some verbal support.

So Starr, I HATE to say this, but I think we're in our own? PLEASE care for yourself 😊

[jkl5500]

I'm sure you've heard this before, but all these awful feelings and thoughts are just symptoms of your illness. Don't take them to heart - they're not real, even though they SEEM real enough. That's the great illusion of depression.

I know you want this horrible experience over with yesterday, so you can start living again. You simply have to get on the right medication. Trying to "figure it all out" in your condition isn't going to work. Your brain is not 100% right now, and neither is your reasoning ability. I've been through this several times, and I know how hard it is, but you've got to be persistent and get medicated properly.

I wish you a speedy recovery.

[gogogirl in reply to jkl5500]

Being alone and isolated is a big trigger for depression or sadness- and that makes sense.

[gerrerd]

Every thing changes, Hold on never give up. Were there is a will there,s a way. Time can heal. every thing has a season then it changes.

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

Sometimes some things don’t change...like we will always all go back into the earth... I want to live a good life before that and I find I am barely living on many days I do a lot but seems in vain but yes maybe that will change if I keep ploughing through and don’t give up my kids keep me going they are my angels

[gogogirl]

Sorry about that- just wanted you to know someone "heard" you.

[Starrlight in reply to gogogirl]

Aww no need to be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. thanks for being here for me Gogogirl.

[gogogirl in reply to Starrlight]

Glad you're here, and I really like your online name- Starlight.

[Starrlight in reply to gogogirl]

Thank yoooouuu😘

[iris_r]

Sorry for your struggles! I have battled those same feelings and actions. Every day is a fight for me. I’m here with you and looking forward to better minutes/hours/days/weeks and wishing for you as well. All best..

[Starrlight in reply to iris_r]

Thanks for being with me. yes looking forward to better times! Blessings

[Sunshine425]

I'm battling these dark feelings lately too. It makes me mad because just 6 months ago I thought I was healed of depression. I thought I learned how to self love. My anxiety would come and go.. But one thing after another I let things bother me and stress me out so bad. Lost all happiness. Now I'm back to numb... I just get frustrated what did I do so right before, was it just the excitement of wedding that got me high on life. That scares me that my only hope for happiness isn't in the day to day but just the exciting things that happen once in awhile. I don't know if that makes any sense. .

Just know I'm here. Fighting with you.

[Starrlight in reply to Sunshine425]

Sunshine ☀️ that makes so much sense to me!

How are you doing today?

Sometimes the moment is all we have to be in.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Starrlight]

Now were at a time where were standing still. Hard to move forward. So its like being stuck on loop.... These negative thoughts. Its hard. Distraction is all I know to survive.

[Starrlight in reply to Sunshine425]

(((((((Hug))))))