Off my chest pt 2

Hi guys! I think its been maybe about 2 months since I made the post about my best friend. Well unfortunately here I am again. I took you guys advice and gave her space and let her come to me instead of me going to her all the time. While doing this, I realized something.. she doesn't care to text or call me unless its something that she wants to talk about which isn't a bad thing but she doesn't check up on me or anything like that.. an example of this would be her internet friends... she talks about them and to them all day everyday.. I know this because we are roommates so I've witnessed this... she is so lively and energetic when talking to them but when they get off their chat and its just me and her, she puts in her headphones and won't talk to me for hours and when she does speak its so monotone and she sounds bored.. she won't even speak to me unless its about her internet friends.. i have no problem with her talking to me about her internet friends but it's kinda tiring talking about the same thing over and over again. I feel so neglected and ignored in this friendship and its mentally draining me.. I have bad abandoment issues so this scares the living hell out of me because I dont want her to leave.. another example is tonight... she hasn't been in the dorm all week and she came tonight to get some of her clothes because we get out for thanksgiving break... she doesnt have a card to get into the building so I had to go let her in, keep in mind that she also hadn't texted me all week except to tell me about her internet friends so when she texted me telling me she was coming back to the dorm, I was excited to see her and I assumed that she would be excited to see me.. when I got outside and went up to her cousins car, her and her sister got out.. her sister and I spoke but she didn't say ONE word to me, not one.. so naturally I started to overthink and thought that maybe she was mad at me but I haven't done anything to upset her.. we walked up to our room and she packed some of her stuff and left.. didn't check on me nothing,, she barely said two words to me.. now it would sound like shes mad at me but we had a conversation about her internet friends via text not even 30 minutes earlier..I also feel like shes never happy for me.. I can tell her some exciting news and I get nothing but "oh" or "mm" from her.. it really hurts my feelings when she does that Ive tried talking to her about how I felt and we had a conversation about it but nothings changed... Ive texted her asking what can I do to be a better friend but she claims nothing is wrong with me so if nothing is wrong with me then whats the problem.. shes pushing me away hard but Im doing everything i can to hang on.. theres only so much I can take though...

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Thank you so much! I've always thought that it was me who wasn't being a good friend because of the way she treats me but I've started to realize, I havent done anything to her for her to treat me this way...

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I don't think such behaviour is expected from a friend and from what you've explained here it seems she doesn't care about you at all. Plus when you mentioned she didn't even say a single word to you when she met you after a week made my blood boil. I'm an introvert but after meeting a friend I would at least have a small conversation with him. I believe you deserve a better friend than this.

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Thank you for responding! When she didn't speak, it really hurt my feelings the only thing she said was "lets get my stuff" and that was to her sister The only reason I haven't cut her off is because I have extremely bad attachment and abandonment issues. I wish that it could be easier to cut her off but its really hard

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A friend is someone who makes you feel better every time you are with them. They help you lighten your mood and they will hardly try to hurt your feelings. You shouldn't be feeling any stress after talking to a friend, and if you feel stressed while interacting with her then maybe she isn't very serious about this friendship.