Pretty Well Giving Up

[KevJenn]

Hi,

Im.56 and was taking a career break for a year. I volunteered and took courses and completed a professional designation for fraud examiner. I had what I thought was everything. My whole family mom dad older brother all passed away by the time I was 40. Just bad luck. Now my wife who I loved so much went to work a.month ago texted me a month ago she loved me. Then texted me that afternoon she isn't coming he and wants a divorce. I was shocked and blindsided. Now she is gone the house I loved so much will be up for sale in January and I am currently in it by myself. I am so depressed and have to get a job but the depression gets in the way so much. I am seeing a therapist and she helps but I feel like everything is gone and I will just end up on the streets. My heart is broken. My ex apparently has been unhappy for some time and planning all this. I thought we were happy together and loved each other. She swears there is no one else but yes right...I have a wonderful 15 heard old son that I see on weekends or I would probably just end things. The mornings are the worst ...just awful. I am sending out resumes and trying my best but to be betrayed like this ...maybe touch. therapist says I am in massive shock still...Thank you for listening.

[Hidden]

Don’t just let everything go and find accommodation. You may have second chance with wife or someone who is going to love you more than you think. Just don’t lose heart. You deserve more. Remember your efforts will pay off

[Hidden]

Please talk to friends or someone about accommodation and getting job. Have hope pray

[KevJenn]

Thank you.. I will get a lot of money from the house sale since we will split the profit and have no debt but I need something to occupy my days. I am college educated but so depressed it's hard to even try.

[CarlJames]

Hi Kev, I went through almost exactly what you are experiencing and have come out the other side. When I was 56 too my wife suddenly said she wanted a divorce. We had been planning for my early retirement at 60 I thought, but she had been planning and positioning herself for divorce for a few years.

Under the stress of the separation and divorce I lost my job, and lost the house and much of my retirement savings in the settlement. It turned my world upside down. I decided to still retire at 60 because I refused to give up on my dream, even though the retirement looked a lot different.

I got lots of books on mindfulness, getting in touch with my authentic self, anything to explore my inner spirit and learn what was important to me. I dropped people and things that didn't serve me or make me happy. I simplified my life over and over, reducing it to only what really was important to me. I was determined to follow the axiom "that the best revenge is to live a good life".

It took a long time to get over the anger, rejection and loss of my original dream. But I created a new life - one which is now better than what I had before. I processed all my anger and bitterness because I was not going to let that ruin my enjoyment of life. I also *finally* became determined to recover from lifelong anxiety.

Here I am, several years on, enjoying life more than ever before. I'm poorer, but I'm happy.

[Midori]

Don't do anything in desperation, I appreciate this is a shock and your whole world seems like it's tumbling down.

It was unkind of your wife to do this without talking with you first and telling you she was unhappy. Things could have been worked out without abandonment.

Have you agreed the sale of the house or is it being forced? Don't just give in over this; Things can be done. Get a lawyer if you haven't already, and stay in the house.

Have you found a work placement yet? it will be important as there will be bills to pay, although as she abandoned you I would think you have the upper hand on this issue. Don't roll over as assets lost can be hard to regain.

Check if she is with another man, it can give you leverage. I appreciate you are hurting, but it is important that you fight. Now is the time to be angry, and fight for everything you can get. It is important right now not to give in to despair. We can help here with emotional support, and suggestions.

Cheers, Midori

[Hollick in reply to Midori]

Very kind words.

[catch_the_music]

Sorry this is happening to you. Hang in there. Now is the time to seek the best advice to see if your marriage can be reconciled. A pastor can help you work through this - and pray over your concerns. They probably know of a support group that can be there for you. Don't face these troubling times on your own. There are people out there that want to help. Also - Know that God is near you during these times! Read and pray over passages like those below - and ask God to refresh your soul - and take away your anxious thoughts. He will in time. Listen to radio stations like KLOVE - to feed you with encouragement. God Bless!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14.