New here and struggling

[Del11y]

Hi everyone, well I find myself in a situation I have never been in before and quite frankly never want to be in again. After being ill in mid March and then us getting locked down things have just got worse and worse. I was convinced I was going to die, got furloughed from work sleep deteriorated and for the last 3 months have had broken sleep no sleep waking up early, had started to get what I now know was mild anxiety but living on my own I have just got myself into a hole now worrying about things constantly, back at work but not doing my normal job and finding it really hard to cope but need to solider on as we are in the middle of a takeover with redundancies coming and sickness will lead to bye bye apart from that at least it is a semi distraction on the other hand. I am doing cbt and mindfulness but the anxiety on edge restless feeling and overthinking won’t subside and I just don’t know what to do with myself I have started taking Kalm tablets to try and help but I’m impatient as I so want to feel better and I really don’t want to deteriorate any further while I keep trying to resist sertaline the doctor has said I can have as I really really don’t want to take anti-depressants I just don’t know the best way forward to be patience or not waste any further time. I literally feel like I’m going crazy, but can see from some of the post I’m definitely not alone

[hopewarrior3000]

Hi Del11y, welcome to this site. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story, it took a lot of courage and initiative. I'm so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. Work can be stressful enough by itself, but the uncertainties and isolation of these times are indeed hard to bear.

Know that you are fighting a heroic struggle, and every day you make it through is a triumph. You are enduring heroically. Of course I'm not a medical professional and as such I can't advise you as to whether to take the pro-offered medication, but I can say that Ido take anti-depressants and they do keep me stable and help me to function. One thing that helps me cope is exercise, it helps me to clear my mind, reduces my stress, and helps me to sleep. Even going for walks can have enormous benefits. Do what you can.

It's great that you are seeking professional help. Keep it up. Don't be afraid to reach out for help to whoever will offer an empathetic ear. I'm here if you ever need to vent or correspond. Keep your head up. Know that you are valuable and I will keep you in my thought and prayers.

[Del11y in reply to hopewarrior3000]

Thank you for your kinds words, unfortunately I dug myself into a hole before I realised and it’s very hard to get back and at the moment I’m feeling on edge virtually all the time or worrying with a tight stomach or in floods of tears thinking I’m going mad, I think that I am succumbing to the fact I might have to take anti depressants but my family don’t want me too partly because the doctor said you might get worse first and be suicidal which is mad as what got me to this point in the first point so being scared of dying from

Covid. if you don’t mind me asking what do you take and how long have you been taking them for? I did to g it’s today and have an assessment with a councillor on 7 July why the doctor didn’t tell me about this service 2 months ago his only knows but we can’t go back only deal with the heat and now or that’s what I’m trying to do

[hopewarrior3000 in reply to Del11y]

Well, I take a combination of meds because I have hard to treat major depression and anxiety as well as other health conditions. I can't tell you how long I've been on each med because I've been fine tuning my treatment for 25 years. I'm on Zoloft, Rexulti, and Lamictal for my mood disorder and I take Xanax for anxiety. As best you can, hang in there.

[Pugglesworth]

Hi and welcome!

You are definitely not alone. I have an anxiety disorder myself along with obsessive-compulsive and adjustment disorder. I do take medication. I also did not want to begin taking them, but I was in way over my head so I gave them a shot. SSRI's worked for a few years and then began making me sick. I take an anxiolytic now called Buspirone (Buspar). It acts a bit like a thermostat does with some neurological chemicals.

I'm sorry you're going through a bad time. You are in a large boat in that respect. You have a lot of things coming at you like many of us do at this time. There is a greeting/salutation I remember that basically says 'May you live in interesting times'. We are surely meeting that expectation.

I'm going to recommend one of my favorite books to you: 'Hope and Help for Your Nerves' by Dr. Claire Weeks. It's an older book, but I have read and re-read it many times. Dr. Weeks writes directly to the reader and talks about the symptoms/pains/feeling that anxious and depressed people experience. She talks about our nervous system, how it operates and what is occurring when we feel overwhelmed by our experience. She also discusses how we can manage our experience.

[Roxie80]

I’m in the same boat. I have anxiety and take Xanax and buspirone for it. I got no sleep last night but we can’t give up. Save the serenity prayer when you constantly worry “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I’m here for you anytime.