Forced to live

[Starrlight]

Do you feel like you just can’t get up and going unless you reeeaaally have to? Usually my anxiety/ocd brain is like for example “what if you don’t do that task, it will be horrible” etc has me running around getting stuff done but lately I just want to sit and do nothing no matter what.i feel like important people and things in my life don’t get all the attention needed, like I block myself out. I am not living, just existing, *waiting for the real life to begin* and I’m *missing out*. I feel like there’s something wrong more than just depression and anxiety I just can’t seem to be around people except when I force myself quality time with the ones I love becsuse I know it’s healthy and because I love them... but it’s hard to be around people without it stressing me out. I also have bipolar 1. I just feel like there’s something so wrong with me and that in itself that hurts so badly to think of but I think and feel it with all of my being.

[Haitian]

I am praying 🙏 you. I feel like that too some days. I tell myself one day at a time.

[Starrlight in reply to Haitian]

Thank you Haitian ❤️

[Florida1959]

I am praying that you find some small steps in solutions , you have suffered fir such a long time, and you are an amazing lady, ❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

YOU are amazing. Thanks it’s like you are always around the corner when I could use some understanding. How are you?

P.s. I don’t know how I’m not going to suffer,... in the Muslim Faith they say “after every difficulty comes ease” ... I don’t know it’s a lot I’m tired of living .

[Florida1959 in reply to Starrlight]

I am ok, better than before, got my apartment now, wish I lived nearer xxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

That’s good. (((((((((Florida)))))))))) ❤️

[Want2BHappy3]

Hi Star, I’ve been feeling that way lately. I’ve been trying to deal with my daughter who has a learning disability , my health isn’t Good and we might have to move as of Now have nowhere to go? She’s only been working PT which isn’t enough. I’m retired, she’s needs to earn more income. If the new owners let us Stay? They will raise the rent, my savings is running low and finding a job at my age is hard to find. We’ll both be on the street if I run out of money I can’t get that though to her probably because ofher Disability? This is ONE of those things that I’m going to reaaaaaly going to have to do “like you said “ this has been the Main thing that has kept me from getting out of bed. Im barely eating and wanting to sleep a lot. Don’t know what else to do? I feel SO guilty for wanting to do this, but she’s leaving me NO Choice?

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Hi! What do you feel guilty for? I’m so sorry of the anxiety provoking situation I feel for you. I’m thinking it will work out.

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks, I feel guilty because she was born with this and it has been a struggle for her. It’s hereditary from her dads side of the family. He should have told me about this, he has Never shown ant remorse for this. Though the years I was alone in dealing with the special ed school system and specialist. When she was young I had better control over things, Now that she’s grown, she’s out there making mistakes that I’ve had to bail her out on. I never know if somethings going to happen?

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I hear you. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. I’m so sorry it’s tough. You are so strong though. I wish you and your daughter many blessings.

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you, just feel he should have taken some of the responsibility of this. He was a useless husband, I worked full time, All house work, kids events, doctor and dentist appointments. He just came home put his feet up and asked about dinner. Even now he’s not involved not even with my grandson

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Oh no I’m sorry I can see where you are coming from.

[Poodie in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Hi want2BHappy3.

How are you? I know you are angry at your husband for not doing his share. Perhaps that is never going to change.

Have you been able to get some help caring for your daughter? Can she live in a group home that will provide supervision also. Sometimes you can get job training too. Maybe they can find her full time employment. I do not know if she qualifies. If so, you would feel much less burdened and be able to pay attention to your own health. She will have to live independently someday and this will be providing for her for the future.

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Poodie]

Thanks for writing, i haven’t done that yet. It’s complicated when you’re dealing with the government. She’s not incapable of caring for herself, it’s that she’s not able to financially support herself. Social Security disability turned her down She wasn’t disabled enough I guess ?

[Worriedman19]

First off you're in my thoughts. Now I know how it feels feel like you're a burden or like you just want to sit there and not do anything I had that for a year-and-a-half of my life. I put my family my kids and everyone else around me through this. Now for the good news you can do this I have faith that anybody with a mental disorder can overcome and learn to cope I had a great support system that and a lot of extra help from therapy I still have issues from time to time. I just want you to know that there is people out there like you and we're all here for you if you need someone to talk to you. Just remember that you're a wonderful person.

[Hidden]

Oh starrlight, shine bright

[Poodie]

Hi Starrlight.

I am sorry you are having a tough time. Do you have any idea what else may be wrong? Would seeing your Dr. help? Could some med be making you feel more nervous?

Just some thoughts I am trying to throw out there.

Often times I go onward getting lots done only to find that I exhaust myself. Then I do nothing and get depressed. I am trying to do some things without putting so much pressure on myself to do everything.

I don’t want to be with a lot of people when I am depressed because I am unable sometimes to put on a front of being o k

Is there something special you can do for yourself that would help you feel better.

I will be thinking of you. Let us know how you are doing soon. You are so helpful to people on here. I hope I can be some help to you. I think you will figure this out in time. Hang in there. ❤️❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Poodie]

I went to doc having bloodwork done... we will see...

thanks you are so sweet... I should take it easy, I feel weak...

[Booklover0219]

I’m sorry you feel this way. I wake up every night with a deep sense of pain and hurt and I don’t know what to do about it. Then I wake up every morning feeling empty inside. Then I force myself out of bed and push myself into starting my day. I don’t know what we do about this. Do we face the pain head on and would that help? I just don’t know.

[Starrlight in reply to Booklover0219]

❤️ I wish I knew. Right now I’m trying to be really gentle with myself because I’ve been pushing and I feel weakened. I wish I knew the right answers I’m sorry.

[Hidden]

I'll pray for you that you would feel better again. You are very strong. You gave me good advice, which helped me. I believe you can overcome all these.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

You are sweeeeet thank you so! How did I help you? Well I’m glad 😊

[Hidden]

My anxiety was so bad at that time. You replied to me and gave me positive advice. I feel so much better afterwards. I thank you for that. You shared your story too.

[Ddorne]

If you force yourself to be around loved ones and you appreciate it, that’s not so bad. I also live minimalist in many ways except when it comes to the people I love, then they are priority. We need that network, other wise it’s too vague.

[Starrlight]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️