Boyfriend isn’t supportive - Anxiety and Depre...

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Boyfriend isn’t supportive

caitsxxx1 profile image
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My boyfriend isn’t supporting of me being mentally ill at this moment in time all he does is moan about me lying here all day and not doing anything or stresses me out because I don’t want to go out the house I just want to stay in my safe place until my antidepressant kicks in he’s no helpful and only makes me more stressed I’ve tried explaning to him I can’t help my mental illness but he just dosent get it !!

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Midori profile image
Midori

He's starting to gaslight you. Red Flag!

Sounds like my bf too. I have a REALLY hard time sleeping and I have epilepsy.. sadly lack of sleep is a trigger and he knows that but doesn’t care. When he gets home I must get up and do whatever he wants to do (go somewhere or watch tv). It sucks and I feel you.

FearIsALiar profile image
FearIsALiar

Maybe he is just trying to get you out of your comfort zone. You will not grow if you stay comfortable. Harsh truth, I know but it’s for the best. Don’t let your mental illness rule your life

I think we all have to force ourselves to do things. My husband of 20 years gets so frustrated when I have bad periods and I’m not active. As a man he thinks if there is a problem he needs to fix it. Trying to explain to him that he can’t and to just be there is never ending. I also think he feels if I’m unhappy he takes it personally like it’s something he did or maybe his fault. Making him feel he needs to fix it even more. Men fix broken stuff. As people with an illness we have to do our part though to take our care into our own hands as well to get better. I know for myself just laying there will never get you better no matter how many medicines you take. I understand that it takes time for an antidepressant to build in your system. It will not magically make you wanna get up. I get in moods and lay around. The more I do it the more I want to. Then it becomes a habit that is very hard to break. Be careful! Set goals. Maybe small ones. I will take a shower ever day at 1:00. Maybe I will walk to the end of the driveway or corner everyday. Start small. One goal a day. When that becomes easier then add one more. You have to create habits. Trust me I know. I’ve been there. I’m struggling right now myself. If he gets home at 6 then maybe shower at 5. You will have to force yourself. Then your medicine will help it not be so bad. It won’t make you do it though. Set one night a week for movie night inside. Where you talk and snuggle on couch and watch a movie. Then move it to a real date day or night going out. Start with something small. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Go somewhere to eat or a drive thru and bring it home. Just remember to start small but add to it as able. Even if it requires forcing yourself. I’ve been at this a very long time. I’ve learned how to paint the picture for my spouse with very little effort. Not denying I’m struggling but setting the scene. I do think a nice peaceful conversation about how you feel and how he feels is necessary. If healthy you may not want to choose a boyfriend d that won’t get up or go anywhere or do anything. I’m not sure your age or how serious your relationship is. Both of you have feelings. He needs to understand of course but relationships go both ways. Hopefully he can stand by you to get through this episode. Best of luck.

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