You know what’s weird? So much

[Starrlight]

One week I dropped and broke 4 different ceramics. I’m not usually clumsy. Then a bit after that all in one day I dropped 3 foods on the floor. Weird like why. I never used to be a dropper. Anyway things in general are just so weird lately. My relationships are all screwed up well 2 of them are bothering me. And I will be blessing the house because we have unwanted spirits. One touched my youngest the other day pissed me off and that’s it no more.

The kids start school tomorrow but not really because I cannot seem to find any of the virtual info such as schedules and I sssume they will send a link through email tomorrow but like the site is all blank. I call I email I search I reach out to ask others I am tired stressed done for now. And now one of my sons can’t even log into his computer

I know such fun I am. But let’s see I have also been having a bit of fun at times I guess having a friend over to stay with my family from the west coast (I’m on east). It’s just hard though hard to let go hard to be myself thinking I might embarrass myself my husband might make fun of me because he’s been up to that lately. I need to be bigger stronger but I am tired not too tired to stand up that tall right now I can anx will but it’ll take all I’ve got left. Good news Dolphin 🐬 will love this- I’m going shopping tonight! I have to return an outfit. Well I was planning on returning it yes but maybe I’ll return it fooooooor SOMETHING! I’m so bad. Man I just spent like 3 or so hours trying to find answers to and writing to the school about issues I’m having I’m just done.

Aaaaaaand I got my vaccine and it’s giving me brain fog .... will it go away? It’s day 3.

Aaaaaaaand I might have to go off benzos.

And I’m weird. I just am ohh well I don’t care really. Everyone is. This world universe is. Its just that I’m noticing that it’s extra.

[Mrspjsmom]

So glad my children are grown. Back to school was a nightmare when they actually mailed schedules and school supply lists. When my son started junior high school I went to FIVE different stores looking for a yellow spiral notebook. They wanted a different color for every subject to teach them organizational skills. And the special calculators that cost a fortune and had to be a different model every year. Can't imagine trying to get the information on my computer.

So glad you got the vaccine. I didn't have brain fog. Actually if I did have it I didn't notice because I always have brain fog from my fibromyalgia. I think yours will go away soon. Maybe it's from the stress of back to school computer malfunctions. If not try taking Ginko Biloba. It helps.

Enjoy having your friend visit. Be yourself.

And finally...return the outfit and get yourself something wonderful. You deserve it! I'm not supposed to spend money without asking my husband. (A long story for another time) but I got some underwear with really cute prints and a pair of leggings that say cats are my favorite people. Didn't ask, just did it. Wearing them now and loving it.

You aren't weird at all. You're unique and genuine. If that's weird then I am too.

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Ha yeah those were the days ... with virtual they don’t need much for school.

Thanks for writing ...

oh yes I take ginko Biko a every day also omega 3 wild fish oil snd Alpha Brain for memory and focus also Ashwagandha and D3. Then there’s gut health formula, biofilm, vitamin k2 mk7, and vitamin b12. All of these just the action of taking them help me feel healthier. I believe they help.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

I take ginko, coq10, vitamin d, biotin and found a women's prebiotic that also has cranberry. I also take vitamin c. My husband doesn't belive in supplements. Tells me I should eat healthier. But they do help. If I run out of something and have to wait several days until he gets paid (bi-weekly paychecks) I really notice a difference.

I bless the house periodically. Can't smudge because it's overpowering so I use a sage candle. I also have a spray I use if I notice any negative energy in one part of the house.

Burying a small piece of quartz at every corner of the house helps protect it. I have done it at my house and my daughters house. When she bought her house there was overwhelming negative energy and sadness. Had to smudge three times then bless it and bury the quartz. Took a lot out of me.

Finally as I keep rambling I hope you did return the outfit and are going to post a photo of whatever wonderful thing you bought for yourself.

My new favorite leggings

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Wow am I jealous... I want parrot leggings!

Goodness!!! Google says there are! Lots of kinds. Ooo... Yes! Macaw leggings, Cockatoo leggings... Owl leggings... It's a hoot"!

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

I like your leggings ... my tunic I bought if you scroll down is there. I think the vitamins and supplements we take oh btw I take Ashwagandha too they are our buisness making us feel healthier snd if anyone tells me why they are bad for me great I’d love to hear it I have an open mind but if you just don’t take them so I just shouldn’t then mind your own business haha!!!!

[Hidden]

I would like to hear more about the unwanted spirits, if you are willing to elaborate. My reasons are genuine and not just curiosity. They exist, I have experienced more than I would like to.

As far as school, the kids here will start back soon and the plan is to go in-person with plenty of precautions in place. The school boards are dipping their toes into the water, I only hope that it goes well. On-line learning has proven to be such a struggle for far too many students and even more so for their parents, as you well know.

Brain fog and fatigue, along with a very sore arm are all too common, so try not to worry too much. I suffered all three symptoms after both of my vaccinations. The fatigue was the worst for me personally. I came home after the first shot, went straight to the couch and slept for 7 hours, got up and went to bed and slept another 6 hours. Brain fog was with me more so after the second vaccination, come to think of it.

Enjoy the shopping trip, my vote is cast for a return and a complete new purchase. ☺️

About the benzos, if you do go off of them, be sure to take it very slow and listen to your body. It is not a sprint, it should always be a marathon, slow and steady. Clonazepam and I are well acquainted. I understand your dilemma. 💗

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

So my kids see dark shadows with dark for a face, sometimes figures of bright light. Floating heads. I had an object fly over me and one hit me on the head. Sometimes voices. None of us are really too scared just don’t like the feelings we pick up. I feel the worst when it comes to my youngest because I do think it may get to him and he was the one that got touched. Grrrr

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks, Starrlight. Now I know it's not just me.

What I have dealt with are scents and very cool air. It happens when I am home alone, so I can't even explain it to the family because they have never experienced it. They have explanations, which sound reasonable (to them) yet I am not at all convinced. I have never felt frightened, at least.

Good luck, I hope they calm down.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Positive happy ghost 👻 vibes to you ((((((((((( I think our angels are always around us looking after us, of course, that’s my belief, but so I try to remember to focus on them and the light spirits and ignore the dark ones.

[Livelydively]

Are the kids doing virtual? My kids school district isn't giving us a virtual option this year and it is really stressing me out. My youngest is too young to get vaccinated.

I am also weird and love it. Weirdness makes the world go round.

I hope you have a nice time shopping!

Best wishes!

[Starrlight in reply to Livelydively]

You’re right! Weird is good 😆 oh yeah the schools are pushing for in school and at our schools masks are optional even. I couldn’t get them in virtual either unless I went by a virtual schooling program called k-12 which is still connected with the public schools but usually you won’t get one of those teachers and all the teaching isn’t put on me either so it’s not homeschool.

[Livelydively in reply to Starrlight]

May we make it through the school year! This has been the most stressful year for me so I am hoping the school year goes well overall.

[Starrlight in reply to Livelydively]

Me too!!!!! Let’s keep in touch. We can cheer each other on. It’s 6:30 school starts for my kiddos at 9:00 and I need a link to get into school so I’m about to go on and check things out see if I can find it. Best to you!

[Livelydively in reply to Starrlight]

Sounds wonderful! We can support one another through what I hope is a good school year. It should be interesting. They just passed a mask mandate last week for our district. Best to you as well!

[Starrlight in reply to Livelydively]

Today beat my butt. Stressful. I had to sleep after the school was out for the day.

[Livelydively in reply to Starrlight]

We need time to adjust just like the kids do. I hope today is a little easier. My kids start back today. 630am bus for the oldest and 730am for the youngest. I am hoping they have a good day. I hope you and your littles have a great day as well!

[Starrlight in reply to Livelydively]

Thanks you too!

[Dolphin14]

(((⭐️))))

Dropping things, brain fog... could it be anxiety and overload. I worked many vaccine clinics, did so much research to write out paper work for the patients, I don't remember brain fog but fatigue as a side effect. But who knows with the vaccine how you will feel. Hopefully things will be better soon. Brain fog is also a sign of depression. I know you have been going through a lot.

🐬 loves shopping I love the exchange versus the return choice. The $ had been spent, use it on you ❤️

Here is a picture of the storm we had yesterday, Henri the hurricane was disappointing in my area, I know it did a lot of damage in other states so I do hope those people are ok.

Get rid of those ghosts. I hope the holy water helps.

❤️🐬

Stormy ocean

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Hmmm yeah I have been under a lot of stress. Stress can present itself in a lot of ways can’t it? I wished ya shopped with me. You’d like the store I went to. I let myself buy a cute colorful tunic with a tie in the back.

I’m so pursed off at the ghosts and my youngest is wise he says don’t get too mad that’s what they want and he is correct. I’m going to pray deeply and sincerely as I go to each corner and each opening and be optimistic that the dark will go and light ones will stay.

The storms are amazing to be with. The energy they give is so strange I love it. I love the pic!

😃 yay

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

That will look awesome with your hair! Good pick

Just saw this in the woods. I know no big deal they are everywhere. But... it scared me when it ran in front of me

Nature

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Omg he’s beautiful 😍

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

I can hear the first few notes of the Pastoral Symphony. You're my back window!

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

😊 🦜

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

How are you? I’m curious like Dolphin when she asked how are you doing with self care? Love ya ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

Very bad and hopeless. Hurt and frightened. I've tried so hard to have ways to care for myself. What is wrong with me? I don't have any more solutions now than I did years ago. I have only alone, crying, and scared. Everywhere I've reached out for help has failed. I'm sorry, this is the best I have now.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

Love it!!! Enjoy.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

I am lucky. Most of my spirits are loved ones who have passed away. I often see my Dad coming out of the kitchen into the dining room. He probably has a cup of coffee in his hand. Also every night around the time my mother passed away the house gets cold. But anything else gets banished. There is enough negativity in my life. Don't need more!

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Beautiful. Peaceful. Ahhh...

[Dolphin14 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Yes, nature is where the beauty and peace is.

How are you doing with self care?

❤️🐬

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Hello. Failing.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

NBP

That is not self care. We are going to have to have a review session on good self care. Hitting the floor doesn't fall on the list lol

❤️🐬

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Hi Dolphin. Not falling, although I've done that. Failing. As in failing to care for myself adequately. I'm stumped. All I can do is hydrate and, luckily, still reach the Ensure.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Oops, sorry. I read these before I have enough ☕️☕️.

I'm glad you can hydrate and get the ensure.

I'm sorry. I wish I could come up with a plan. I know you said you can't get home help. That's too bad. The system doesn't work very well does it? Those who need some assistance can't get it.

Do you journal or write? Something to take your mind off things?

❤️🐬

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

No ☕️☕️ leads to lol. So... there's an upside.

I use the computer to keep track of what I'm doing, and what I want to do. And to record hurts, because I was told for years I imagined them. It's real in black and white.

When I can be busy it helps me feel better. I'm at a loss now. I have my books and my poetry. Sometimes I share them here. I have some music left. "On the Beautiful,Blue Danube" comforts me. So does "Bilby" (Dreamworks). They let me go somewhere better for a time.

[Nothing_but_books]

Eeww! You sure got my attention. "Might have to go off benzos." Not a throw-away line! You be oh so careful if you try that! They bite! Not a quick nip either. It goes on... and on... Just watch yourself.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Hi beautiful you! I’ll be careful. I promise. I’m already off one benzo because I have no more left and very slowly I’m tapering off another benzo just to see the feel of it I don’t necessarily need to just I’m not sure I want them or not.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

Beautiful right back! Shopping is just the thing to adorn yourself in happy peace!

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

What have you done to help yourself today? I feel like total crap but I am trying go think of positive things like I will go outside in the sun soon to get D3 and I managed to wash my face, brush my teeth and drink water and have soup. How are you doing ?

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

I'm very bad Starr. My anxiety and depression are extreme.

It's terrible waking up in the morning to another day of unrelenting pain and misery.

My house was filled with gas fumes last night from a pilot light that went out. I couldn't lift the top of the stove to relight it, and I was frantic that my bird would die. I had the light on in her room in the middle of the night -- my poor baby, she was crying -- to watch her so I could take her outside if she showed signs of breathing trouble. I had to phone and wake up my husband to beg him to come.

I degrade myself begging for the necessities of life every day. I'm lonely, in so much pain I can hardly stand, and having problems with dementia.

I don't know any way to care for myself as I am, except to drink water, drink Ensure so I get some calories, and alternate sitting at the computer doing busy-work with lying in bed to try to reduce the pain. I've had no sleep.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Please try to sleep. You are doing great. You are doing what you can in such difficult times. I’m so sorry for the scare you’ve had and for your bird’s scare too. I want to pour love over you ❤️💦 ❤️💦 ❤️ 💦 ❤️💦 ❤️ 💦

[Nothing_but_books]

I see the hearts weeping the beautiful rain down, down, down it pours.

It helps not to weep alone. To have friends here.

My sweet baby didn't know more than that I was scared and woke her. I'm glad for that. I want to know less, maybe the creeping dementia will bring some blessings too.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

((((((((((((((((((( loving gentle huge hug to you ))))))))))))))))))) you are so beautiful ... after every difficulty comes ease

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

I know that you know.