Don't know how much more I can take

[Nowan]

Ok. Time to just lay it all out because I know nobody can judge me here, because nobody knows who I really am. Here goes...

I have dealt with depression most of my life. I have many signs of being autistic so I can't deal with people very well, because of this I don't have any friends that I can turn to and lean on. I'm married and I know my wife wants to help, but she doesn't understand depression or anything else I'm going through. Lastly...

This one is hard for me to even type about. I've been dealing lately with repressed memories from when I was young. I don't know how young I was but I remember being sexually abused by a parent. I can't even remember which parent it was. I'm supposed to go to my parents tomorrow for thanksgiving, how can I?

There are many times when I just want to end it, I just want the constant pain to stop! I can't take this anymore! I've tried to get help, I contacted mental health about 3 weeks ago, they finally had me come in and fill out paperwork the other day but I won't be able to actually talk to any kind of counselor until the 13th.

I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear you’ve experienced depressed most of your life as well. It is not easy. I’ve been to many therapists and psychiatrists and found that they don’t do much for me. I was even in a mental hospital once when I was younger. That was an experience I’d rather erase from my mind.

It’s troubling for me at times when I see others getting help when I feel like I have not had the same experience.

I was also abused sexually but not by a parent. If it is hard for you to see them, I wouldn’t go. It’s not worth the strain on your mental health.

I struggle with suicidal thoughts and have for 14 years. Sometimes it’s easier to handle than others.

There are many times I wonder what else I can handle before I break. I do my best to push on.

Sorry I don’t have much advice, but I sympathize with how you feel. I hope you get the help you need soon. I’m here if you need to talk.

[Nowan in reply to Hidden]

thank you. I helps to know I'm not alone at least

[Hidden in reply to Nowan]

It’s not easy to deal with. My inbox is always open so feel free if you need to vent or just talk.

[Hidden]

You need to find ways to deal with the emotions your going through...and suicide is not one and you know it..no one is going to help you only yourself at the end of the day..it's.good that you can get it out on here..it helped me alot..also show some support to others on here aswell...be strong..accept it that your going through this and believe you will get through it..you can do it..sort out your feelings and emotions..don't let them clump your head..do something.. anything..Go for a walk in town... do something around the house.. find something to do..also, I pray alot..Im not a devoted but i have no one else to talk to and its done wonders..I refuse.taking medication..so I deal with it ..if it makes me shitty so be it..if it makes.me.hurt so be it..eventually I ignore it and I get to think clear for a bit, only for a bit but it helps..small steps, one thing at a time..Just Go through your motions..keep moving..have faith and hope..Just believe you will get where you need to be.. nothing good is easy..no pain no gain..its for the better of you

[gogogirl]

So sorry and family are the ones we are supposed to trust. Well....welcome, and I hope you continue to vent when you are ready and can get to that appointment as well.

[leobeastmood]

I just was reading over some post and seen yours. I also have mental illness. I been struggling for 15+ years. If you need a person that you can talk to that understands, I am here. How did you appt. go Friday?