dear friend of mines daughter might have cancer.......i can only image what she is going through and how scary that must be.....but words fail me....just comes out all wrong.....potentially long journey shades of st judes kids etc.....think its reaked havok on her daughters self esteem and image.......so many girls are programmed that their self worth is exterior vs us old geezers look at employees and companies and stuff like football players or baseball.....how u perform and who u are meaning how u treat the fans etc and service and how u treat tohers, work ethic.....not perfect appreacance or whatever.....all the stupid stereotypes.......i just watch and i have met so many effective people that are way far away from the typical stereotypes......they have that touch....
please pray for my friend and her protecdtion
please advise or words of wisdone or insight......her self image which i get......has been crushed by her family and life and meical conditions...what can i or others or we...do.......she wondeful and kind and patinet to ohters in contrast to prima donnas and entitled.....shes not entilited kind at all........
help?????
prayers plse..
any advise/insight/comments welcome
7 Replies
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Your words never come out wrong.
Oh! I just re-read your post! We don't even know if she has cancer yet. Well, as my mother would say, you are borrowing trouble. Let us remain calm and confident until facts are known. (as best as one can.)
Very numbing feeling , like U have been hit with a million sledgehammers in ur chest. U feel empty within AND that's normal to feel that way it's empathy & fear mixed in. It's how I felt when my eldest brother told me that one of my other brothers had cancer . Thankfully he beat it & is in remission if not completely clear now.
Now when U talk to ur friend ask about them & just listen & listen & then listen some more as its when we realise our own mortality is when we truly open up & that's my experience from being at deaths door twice .
Also reading & research . If the daughter is diagnosed with cancer , find out what sort then research as to what it is , how it affects others , treatments & success rates as cancer is more curable these days due to research & medicines that help patients .
That is what I would do & I can only speak ofmy own experiences .
Take one day at a time, wait to see what she is dealing with.
You can listen and support. Fear is going to be their main emotion.
One of my best friends had cancer. She said the best thing she had to help her though was a listener, a cheerleader. I fit the bill. Her mother still talks about it. She was so grateful for my support for her daughter. It comes natural to me. It felt like I was doing nothing but for them it was a blessing.
I was diagnosed with a rare cancer 16 months ago. Fear and terror were my only 2 emotions for a year. But the body can’t stay like that. So you start calming down a couple days a week. Treatment and surgery can be rough depending on what it is. I am in remission but still have anxiety. I prayed for her. We have dropped the ball as a planet for cancer research. People think someone’s handling it. But it’s too big of a job , we all need to get involved. Donating money regularly for research. Stand up to cancer seems to be a good one.
All you can do is tell them you will be there for them. If it is cancer, you can ask what you can do to help. For instance, you can offer to “translate” the medical language for them, to help with errands or taking to the hospital, or by being on call at night if your friend feels despair. Or just by checking in every week.
One of my friends had cancer as an older child and was treated with surgery and radiation/chemo at St Judes. He did well, perhaps because of the world class surgery he received there. In his case the cancer has never returned. His legacy from cancer was a lifelong focus on being physically fit and also on lifting weights. He is possibly healthier now than he would have been without cancer in his childhood. (!)
I hope your friend and her daughter do well no matter what happens.
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post 5: the senstive people 
Am I overreacting 
I need to help my wife
