TR Depression

[samack]

Dear past or present treatment resistant folks:

Has anyone who has run through several classes of meds, found one that finally worked? I'm to be prescribed seroquel and the list of side effects scare me. I have other meds I take as well.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

I know lots of people that has happened for but not me. I hate when I’m told “you are treatment resistant”. I feel like a bad dog. Or that I’m resisting treatment. Or that I am fundamentally flawed and I can never get well. Don’t you want docs to stop labeling you like that? I don’t need them to tell me what I already know….that I haven’t found the right med yet…..the operative word being YET…

[samack in reply to Catsamaze]

Well, it's been at least 5 long years. My docs don't call me TR, but it is that. Its a curse. My friends think I'm choosing to not get well. At least it seems that way. Nothings changed is my usual reply. For how f__ing long? I can tell you guys yo look up modafinil, which is used as an antidepressant now. It helped me at 200 mg but I had too many side effects. 100mg did nothing but its worth a try.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to samack]

Hi Samack. It's hard to imagine someone choosing not to get well. Have those friends ever gone through depression? If they had diabetes would they be choosing to not get well? At any rate, though it hurts sometimes, what others think is not important. It's what you think that matters. And you are doing the best you can for right now. Please don't start believing that you are choosing to stay depressed. It's not true and it is just one more thing to beat yourself up with.

[samack in reply to Catsamaze]

I know I ain't choosing this. But it stings to not be given credit going through this alone. Being misunderstood. Thanks for your support catsamaze.

[Isinatra]

I’m treatment resistant for one reason or another. But just because I am, doesn’t mean that you’ll never find something that will help you. If there’s a med out there that you haven’t tried yet or a combination of meds, there’s still hope. Sorry, Catsamaze , I know the process is daunting, but I dont know how long the process has been for samack. I took seroquel for sleep, but couldn’t continue. Luckily, I’ve never been talked to like being treatment resistant was my fault. I did have those thoughts, but they were my thoughts, not my doctors or therapists thoughts.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to Isinatra]

You’re right, Isinatra. I should not generalize. In my own case those were surely my thoughts, but unfortunately my (former) doc’s as well. The vast majority of psychiatrists are not trying to be negative when they use that term. I was venting at what was my own experience and only that.

[Isinatra in reply to Catsamaze]

👍🏼😊

[notanotter]

I never heard anyone say my depression was treatment resistant, but it did take 7-10 different medications before we found one that worked. (And with antidepressants, you know you have to give each one weeks to be sure it's not working.)

While meds work for my mood disorder, my friend whose depression did not respond to medication after years of trying decided to come off of all his mental health meds because they were not solving the problem. He worked with his doctor to wean off of them.

Instead he focused on getting loads of exercise, meditating, and talk therapy. To make sure he got exercise, he started biking to work every day (pre-pandemic). He has done quite well. He's met and moved in with a partner and they bought a house together.

[samack in reply to notanotter]

He is fortunate. Meds usually are required. Its not a matter of will. P S if you're not an otter, what are you?🐊 I knew a man when I was a kid named al legater(sp?)

[notanotter in reply to samack]

Hi Samack, yes, my own depression took years of trying meds but then a new drug at the time (cymbalta/ duloxetine) worked well for me. First I did try several classes of drugs including tricyclics and a bazillion SSRIs and and and.

I even was trialed on Ritalin, a stimulant. It did nothing for me, but I mention it because it was tried in case I instead had ADHD. ADHD can be misdiagnosed as depression when really, it might have induced the feelings of depression and anxiety. In women the ADHD presentation is more distracted and daydreams and less about hyperactivity. Something to think about.

About my friend: he still experiences depression, don’t get me wrong. But he has been managing it using the non drug methods I mentioned and has managed to make a lot of progress. He didn’t “will” it away; instead he makes a point to support his body and do his therapy, and has been pretty successful at cognitive retraining via meditation. He’s not lucky; he’s trying all the time. Good wishes on your journey! PS I might actually be an otter, I kinda want to be don’t you?

[samack in reply to notanotter]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response I otter want to be an otter, they're so darn cute. Just got down to suicidal ideation today, after dr took me off of a med he shouldn't have to prepare me to try the next pill. I'm ok now, but I feel more like a guinea pig with this cursed med process. God knows what I will have to try next. How were the tricyclic? Scared they will be the ruin of me with side effects. Oh yes, a cognitive intervention saved the day today...

[notanotter in reply to samack]

Oh yes, it is a Process. In a way, though, you are the experimenter - you agree to try each drug and see whether it works. You might even be writing up your notes on the effects! (I wish I had done so.) The doctor is your consulting expert for this long experiment.

I truly do not recall how the tricyclic affected my mental state, but it didn’t do enough or didn’t help. They are apparently quite effective, but as you mention can have annoying side effects. It just gave me dry mouth, which would have been manageable. Go for it! They have been used for decades, so there’s a lot of data on their safety.

[samack in reply to notanotter]

They actually read that they have potential for harm to the body long term much more than newer meds. Thats what I'm scared of.

[notanotter in reply to samack]

I hadn’t heard that! (Of course, so does chronic depression, grrr.) Does your GP think you’re safe to try it?

Personally, I would try almost anything for a few months to see if it helped, if only to have the info. Except maybe okra; I can’t stand okra.

Time to look at some otter videos.

[samack in reply to notanotter]

Otter than that I need otter things to do. I think people have pet otters at home now. I wonder how that is!

[Hidden in reply to notanotter]

That is such a wonderful happy ending story! Thanks for sharing it!

[samack]

Can anyone tell me a med that got them out of TR? everyone is different but curious.

[samack]

Another med question. Anyone been on serzone or nefazodone? Can cause liver damage over time. Did anyone experience this?

[Joshgw]

I've also been called TR and have had friends, and my wife, say i choose not to get better. The problem is, it's a nature of the disease, like there's something we can't let go of. We're afraid to get better. My wife says I can't open myself up to think positively enough for something to work. I think there is some truth in that. I'm trying to shift my thinking through DBT but it's a slow as hell process and my suicidal ideation (which got to the point I asked my wife to hide my pills) doesn't want to wait. I've also learned (and it took being hospitalized recently to realize it) that meds are not a panacea, only a tool. The real way to survive is to do the hard work ourselves through therapy and coping skills. It's a very long process but sometimes we just can't wait. I've been on the edge several times

[samack in reply to Joshgw]

Yes, meds are only part of the equation, but for me it helps with rumination which calms me down to do the other work. I am better than I was when I last wrote the responses above.