Depression

[mauv]

I am 77 yrs old and have struggled with depression since age 12 but started antidepressants at age 21. For the last 2 yrs I have struggled because they have stopped working. I am on a new one, Vibrid, but so far no improvement. I need to accept this disease and where I am each day. God is in charge of my recovery not me. There are always new things and meds on the market. I am a fighter, but as you know this disease is very draining emotionally and physically. We didn’t cause it. Can’t control it, and can’t Cure it. We need each other in this group. I do check in but it has been a month. This old lady could use your encouragement now!

[jleechis1]

Mauv - You are not alone. I'm 68 and have had 4 MDDs. We are in this together. Let's stay connected.

[mauv in reply to jleechis1]

We understand each other and I hope we can be friends. The waiting to find a new antidepressant that works and then titrating it takes time. I am so tired but I know that God is in control. I can’t make myself get out of this any faster. Especially if we deal with depression we have to treat ourselves with mercy and grace We have an illness we didn’t cause, can’t co trol and can’t cure. We need to be here for each other.

[CaptainCrunch]

Hey mauv, i am a struggler as well. Glad you are here. We definitely need each other. Not much we can say or do to change things but just stand with you till this season passes, which it will. Just rest and be kind to yourself.

[mauv in reply to CaptainCrunch]

Hi Captain Crunch! Yes we need each other because we understand each other’s emotional pain. I know the season will pass eventually. The season can still be a long hard one. We just all need to lift each other up thru the hard times. Thanks for reminding me to be kind to myself.

[CaptainCrunch in reply to mauv]

Thanks Mauv, for the feedback and understanding.

It can be so tiresome riding the waves of mood/emotion. How I let those feelings effect my thoughts is detrimental. Often it feels like I am at least three different people. When depressed I can’t even imagine every being happy again then days later I can’t ever imagine what was making so depressed. In my life span I have had many, many, many, more lows than highs. I just thought everyone either thought the way I did or they were extremely blessed or lucky.

It is definitely a rut and sadly I was completely unaware of it till my 40’s. Life was just something to be suffered and endured. I still feel this way most of the days and it is exhausting but at least today I have the meds and the hope for brighter days a head which do come. I am still just learning how to make the best of the low seasons. Be kind to myself is complete new and foreign, but learning.

Best wishes and keep in touch, you are not alone in the struggle.

[mauv in reply to CaptainCrunch]

Hi, Captain Crunch, Unfortunately I can’t remember having a high. I get to normal and that is fine with me. I have periods of normal but since mid Feb I have had a lot of health issues. As I get older I am having balance problems. In July I started having gastrointestinal problems. After a lot of tests most recent C-TScans. See GI Dr Dec16 and more tests after 1st of year. Got my Psychiatrist appt moved up from Dec27 to Dec13. I will get on the normal dosage of Viibrid 40mg. Hopefully it will start to kick in. I want to decorate some for Christmas tomorrow. I made a beautiful wreath last year which I want to hang. Right now I also have a winter cold. Pushing fluids and getting a lot of rest. We are doing the best we can and it takes practice to learn to be gentle with ourselves. Let’s keep in touch.

[CaptainCrunch in reply to mauv]

Thanks for the reply, you are such a dear. Aging is an adventure I didn’t ever want to take. Glad you hear you are rest.

[Hidden]

I have changed my meds quite a few times throughout my life. I am 71 years old, and have had depression since I was about 6 years old, so I get it. The meds you take after awhile don't work anymore, since your body and mind get used to it. My suggestion to you is, change your meds.

[mauv]

I am on a new med but as you know it has to be titrated slowly. I am on Viibrid 20mg now and have to wait a month to go to 40mg a standard dose. I know when I am waiting and it gets hard that is when I need encouragement from my friends to just hang in there and it will get better.