I'm very sad i feel lonely :(

[AnotherGhost]

I feel lonely. I don't have real friends in real life and i put my disorder information in my 'about' on my profile. I have an Severe Anxiety Disorder. I am wondering how do I make friends please with having this disorder? I feel very anxious when meeting people online even if it's not face to face I'm really scared and three of my discord friends don't ask to hang out with me. Instead they are busy with other friends. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong...?

[cocoyellow]

for me the kindest people that have become my friends is when i volunteer. i volunteer with animal organization and everyone makes me feel welcome and since we all volunteer together everyone is always looking out for each other. also in my weekly yoga class i make friends. making friends in where you frequent often is much easier.

[AnotherGhost in reply to cocoyellow]

A.. That's very sweet!.. 🙂 Sadly, I don't "go out" much because of my physical pains and with me being weak, but I'm currently in therapy for it. Volunteering with animals sounds very fun..I use to volunteer when i was kid. I miss those days haha. Thank you so much. ❤️

[Hidden]

Hi AnotherGhost, it doesn't sound like your doing anything wrong. I'm sure you will make friends soon with people who have similar interests to you. All the best.

[JP8810]

Anxiety is a tricky beast. I think if you can find a hobby or volunteer opportunity that may provide a neutral playing field to work on interpersonal communication skills.

[AnotherGhost in reply to JP8810]

I do like to read a lot and study. A hobby makes a good distraction at least..❤️

[Kat_21]

You're not doing anything wrong. I didn't (still don't) have many friends. The one's I have are family friends that my husband knew when we got together or people I've met on here. Because of my anxiety (severe social anxiety as well), I've not had the opportunity to put myself out there. No one knows me because I don't try to let people know me. Maybe it's the same for you? I've learned to cope with who I have. Which is my husband, family and my husband's friends.

I know it isn't as easy to cope for everyone. In highschool, or at a job it was the worse. I try to tell people "have a nice day" if we're in an elevator and they leave, leave after they try to talk to me, etc. Just small things like that has really helped me become more comfortable in social situations. Maybe try making friends on here. Maybe it isn't 'real life' but that doesn't mean that person cares about you any less.

I'm here if you want a friend or to vent. I know it's hard, but it gets easier. Best wishes!

[AnotherGhost in reply to Kat_21]

... thanks Kat. the little things do count like you said. I'll try.

[AnotherGhost in reply to Kat_21]

I wish the best for you too. Living with anxiety is hard and meeting people is going to be much harder than someone without anxiety disorder. I'm glad you have good family to cope. give them many hugs! hugs help ease pain and stress.

[Kat_21 in reply to AnotherGhost]

If you need encouragement, don't hesitate to message me.Thank you, I definitely will.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi AG. 1 step at a time is how U make new friends. Here is a very good place to make friends & U can do it as slow as U need . No rush & here we are all on the same ocean liner sailing around in circles & getting to know each other.

[AnotherGhost in reply to DodgeDhanda]

thanks Dodge.. that's right i should go slow. I'd like to make friends here.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to AnotherGhost]

U will but let it happen organically as we are all a bit afraid to let outsiders in & that includes me too. We've all been let down by people in our lives so it's hard to trust people & that's OK & a day at a time & another thing to remember is if U can add to a thread & it helps other in that thread then that is what I call progress...... within time u will make some good connections.

Now lucky U , I enjoy meeting new people & learn ,I love learning something new everyday. I also TRY to others to see different paths too. I'm honest & it may come across as brutal BUT the truth is just the truth. I'm a divorced dad of 2 daughters who I raised & I'm in a place in my life where I'm at peace & am actually enjoying my life for once. I've had many downs over the years but now I'm the focus of my daily mantras.

So if u wish , u can call me friend or mate both work for me AG.

Again in time u will learn to share both good & bad experiences going on to have good & great experiences & share it with others as ur experience could give a lift to someone feeling really low. If U asked me when I first joined if I would make friends here I would've said OH HELL NO!! As a majority of people are the types of humans I dislike lol apart from family I have 3 true friends & that's it. In this group its my online family.

Right I'm gonna follow U & it's up to U if u wish to do the same.

[Kainan]

Hi a good start may be to greet other people first and say hi or how you doing? Because other people may be shy too and wouldn’t expect it. And that would take away some of the anxiety if you initiate first. You could get into very lengthy conversations with someone just from a simple greeting. A true friend who you meet in person is hard to come by these days since relationships have heavily moved online, so you have to think about what kind of friendships you’re looking for.

[AnotherGhost in reply to Kainan]

Hi Kainan,i know that i avoid talking first. maybe starting conversation i have to do.

"so you have to think about what kind of friendships you’re looking for. "

i hadn't thought about this thank you. 😮

[Kainan in reply to AnotherGhost]

You’re welcome. If meeting in person is not possible, a friendship online could be the next best thing 👌

[Hidden]

The unfortunate part about having anxiety with people is that those people will not come to us we have to go to them. For overcoming severe anxiety in terms of socialization you need to build yourself up slowly over time. You cannot just jump into meeting someone at a coffee shop if it scares you. You have to start out much smaller Say just chatting with people online. Then maybe progress to a phone call. You mentioned discord so maybe chatting with people there. The point is you have to push past your comfort zone, but you can't push so far that it makes your anxiety worse. It's fine line and it's very frustrating. I am there currently with going outside. It's very hard for me to go out without having severe panic attacks or hyperventilating to the point of nearly passing out. I can barely walk to the end of my street without feeling like I might die. But I have to push out of the comfort zone in order to get past the anxiety. So I walk to my mailbox. That makes me uncomfortable but not so much so that I feel like I am going to die. I manage the anxiety from there and work at coping doing that then I move a little bit further and repeat the process. It takes time but it can be done. So with you and socializing take small steps and work from there. Make sure to take the time to reward yourself for your successes and don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day. Progress is not linear and so long as you are doing your best you are doing amazing. Also, you talking on here is big step forward and you should reward that.

[AnotherGhost in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much this gives me a lot to think about. 🙂 So far i just walk to my porch each day for 5 minutes. maybe I can start walking to my mum's car. I'm uncomfortable around my neighborhood because i feel so exposed and walking out there is no mailbox away from the porch so i can look like I'm going to check the mail.. you're right about taking big leaps will make my anxiety worse. I had a mental break down when i pushed too hard and got bad results. going out for fresh air at least for a few minutes is better than staying inside a stuffy room all day..

[Hidden in reply to AnotherGhost]

Exactly. You are doing what you need to for yourself. Take the time you need. Your progress isn't a race with anyone else, it's about what is best for you. Walking to the porch is a great start so good job! Small steps lead to the biggest changes. And I know it's now always easy and it feels incredibly disheartening at times. But you have to keep in mind what is currently best for you and not what you want the end goal to be. Focus on your current objectives and let yourself be happy for the small victories. You can get past this. It isn't easy and it will take time but I have faith in you.

[Tara52]

I can understand. We all have different degrees of anxiety. Years ago I met people through an "anxiety support group" and we would meet for lunch on Saturdays socially. It was nice to have people who understood what you were experiencing. Other people I came across would judge me harshly or my family would laugh at me for my "silly fears". Later I developed agoraphobia and panic attacks from PTSD after my boyfriend commited suicide. It's taken time, prayer support and alot of patience to get out slowly again.Be kind to yourself and know there is freedom from this with God's help and people who care about you. 🙏💗

[Daveacr1959]

I will tell you what helped me, baby step out of my shell. 45 minutes of daily cardio exercise , to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety disorder. Then little things , like grocery shopping etc . Once you build confidence, you just need one good friend.

[Mikech]

Hi. I'm a 42 yr old man I've had depression my whole life. I know what it's like not having friends. I haven't talked to mine in years. Deppression gets in the way of everything. I just need someone I can talk to that understands what it's like. My family just don't get it. I'll be happy to talk to you and just listen if it need someone.

[Mikech]

Hello I just wanted to see how you are doing?

[fieryangel]

Hi There, well your post made me join this forum !! So you have had an impact on me already....I am sorry that you don't get out much BUT cocoyellow is quite right...you can make friends on here...and talking about things (or doing things) that interest you is a great way of breaking the ice with like-minded people....we all immediately have something in common just being on here ! I hope that things have improved a little for you...I notice the original post was over 3 weeks ago...best wishes.