I feel so sad today. I have severe stomach pain and breathless due to guarding. No energy. No help from friends or MH services for my CPTSD. Hate living in Sheffield as it is where all of my trauma happened. Feel vaguely suicidal this morning. Don't know what to do. I ache all over. Stomach cramps. Low BP. Sleepy head. When will this end.....
All the health services blame my MH amd ignore my physical symptoms.
Please call for help if you’re suicidal. My prayer are with you.
Just make a pact with yourself that you’ll get through the day. This too shall pass.
I find the sun rises again and I can feel lighter
Are you receiving any kind of treatment?
it is so sad that mental health seems to trail physical. The two need to be seen together. PTSD can whack you at any moment and with no warning. Sometimes when I am severely triggered, i need to write a safety plan. It can be short or it can be detailed. I too live in a place where I moved and then fell gravely ill. No friends or family here for me either. I am in ptsd counseling which made a world of difference from CBT. Sending you good vibes. Maybe give your self a small goal today….could be rewarding…..writing or walking. Get some food stocked. Something very basic. I try to do this each day, but do. It get upset if I just can’t. I am so sorry that you are having such a rough morning and can appreciate living where your trauma is can sometimes seem impossible. I have to live where I do to have half custody of my kids. The entire state is a trigger! One moment at a time. Sending a virtual hug!
I get you. I suggest a massive hit of caffeine and if there is a friend to call or meet up with do so, do not stay inside the house. I hate where I live, it is where everything bad happened and still happens, I often feel mildly suicidal, but will never give anyone that pleasure! If you have no friends Google support groups open today, and go there, they will be filled with people struggling just like yourself. You will maybe not feel the benefits immediately, but will in time, and it beats staying at home with negative off thoughts and feelings going on. Those pains you have are most likely anxiety/stress related. I get them, and get the sleepy head also. They are real, but caused by what we go through and our bodies react. I battle depression, heavy depression. I take no medication for it, have tried many, all so far make me feel worse. I question too when will this end? I know the answer and it isn't a negative one with negative results. It is when we decide to implement positive changes into our lives, but that truly is easier said than done off own back when seriously struggling and in the darkest of places, so as much support behind us as is possible is the first mighty step to positive changes, but it isn't easy at all, it is damned hard and difficult and involves many failed attempts, and involves us actively seeking out the correct support for ourselves that can be damned hard and difficult to find, but is out there and chats with the kindest most listening gp available to us are the start of more positive times ahead even if we have no friends or family. Go out, do not stay home, and go out where there are other people, don't wander in isolated places that does not help when feeling as you are feeling. Ring crisis line if in UK and you need to talk and hear another human voice listening. I would suggest we meet up, but I am very far away from you.
I see that you used to be a paramedic and your problems started after leaving that employment. Are you aware of yourself struggling because of things you experienced possibly during your time as a paramedic that you never got time to process properly as to busy and just got one with the job blocking stuff out. And now it has all hit you? Do you believe that is what has happened to you or is similar to what has happened to you since leaving? Are you retired or still of working age, or possibly took early retirement? I'm interested to know if you are in employment now and how you are doing with that. x
I have long covid fatigue so unemployed at the moment. Drove put to countryside to find some peace and came across a fresh RTC 3 cars in front. Looked quite bad and I felt anxiety rocket up. Have little energy today hjd wanted to walk to church but my stomach has got so painful.
I am so sorry for long COVID. While I don’t have it, it triggered a bunch of other medical issues. From the folks I know in long haul clinics, they are day by day.
You have a lot going on.
Been there myself with the long covid, only now am l starting to feel a low tingling of life/energy creeping slowly slowly back in.
You did good to drive out to the countryside to seek peace, and it truly unfortunate that you came across the fresh RTC that looked bad, and of course with your medical background anything like that will most probably scream out at you more that it will for others. It is unfortunate that on any given road it is possible on any given day to come across a RTC and even a fresh RTC as roads so chaotic thesedays. So I can imagine how that rocket up your anxiety seeing that. I am only to aware of what can be the absolute unimaginable for many goryness of RTCS/RTAS.Do you mangage on other days to walk to church or does the painful stomach often prevent you from going? I wonder if there is a medication available to help relax and ease that stomach pain for you that may be a regular preventor of you leaving where you live to walk to places. Have you got anything? As I'm assuming you have seen your gp whom may or may not be the most helpful? Do you have someone who can walk with you to church when you want to go there on foot? Someone whom understands relatively well about what you are battling and trying to overcome/want to overcome? Someone to support you when the pain sets in regardless of what the cause and where its pain root stems from?
If your stomach pain has subsided now, and you are possibly feeling something negative or desperately sad towards yourself for not walking to church, maybe go now instead even if church is closed, if it has a little church yard you can walk around and sit on a bench in it peacefully, you may then feel you actually went to church. Kind of tricking your own mind. xx
What do you mean by guarding?
My stomach reflux is painful so hurts yo take a deep breath.
So damn sad
I feel so depressed. So sad
Sad today. 
Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad
friends 
