i have a boyfriend wanting to be a military guy or police, that's his 2nd choice. i can't help but to feel so down and overthink things, i experienced that with my dad and seeing my mom cries almost everyday is heartbreaking and i don't want that to happen to me. we are always worried if how things are going on in his work, and if he will come back home alive.
i promised myself to stay away from those kind of guys and that line of work, i don't want that to happen to my future family. i'm always warning him to be careful choosing his work because he might regret it, my dad did because when i was young he was a stranger to me and we doesn't have a deep bond, i didn't knew my dad verywell...he always asks me if it's fine i want to say that it's not but he will only get disappointed, what should i do and think? i'm really confused everytime he asks those thing i get lost in the mood and get sad, i just want to cry in that moment. my family also don't want a military or police guy in the family.
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rainybear
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I understand how you feel because my husband wanted to be an officer before he got sick. It's terrifying to think of the what ifs. However, does he support you in all you do? Does he ever try to keep you from doing what makes you happy? It's scary to think he may die, but maybe he wants to die protecting the people and place he loves. I think you need to just explain it and try to be understanding. Even if he's with you, he still has a choice of what to do with his own life. If you don't want that, fine.. But you have to be ready to accept that you two might just not need to be together if you can't support his choices.
An example, do you want kids? What if he doesn't? Should you have to change the fact that you want kids for him? No. It's your choice because it's your life, regardless of who you're with.
I always told myself I will never date a cop or someone in the military, I can't imagine having to have to worry if your partner will come home alive. So I understand what you are feeling. You can certainly express your feelings to him and I know he will appreciate that you care about him, but you cant and shouldnt try to pursuade him not to do any of those because is ultimatley his choice and it will be unfair to try to stop him from getting a career that he dreams of. I know there is a strong military wives groups and they can probably suggest how to deal with the departures, with communication etc. Its going to be hard down the road without support. hope you can find that support
You can't live your life in fear. Some people die on the job in less dangerous environments. If being a military type is his passion you have to let him go. He will resent you later if he is pressured not to do what he truly wants. Why not pray for his protection everyday?🙏🤗
You should do what is right for you, not your family, because eventually you will leave your own family to branch out on your own, and maybe start your own family.
You didn't mention your age, but if you are an adult, you should probably be looking towards a future independent of your family, and make your choices accordingly.
I totally understand and all I can offer is to not think about the few cops/military people who die, focus on the thousands that live. I know it’s hard, I always imagine the worst case scenario too. Here is a link to some stats, maybe reading these links will make you feel a lot better.
For the military, look how the cases have come down, on top of that, Biden wants to bring home all the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan etc. by years end.
Really try to think how small of a chance there is of death but also talk to him and tell him your fears.
Please support your boyfriend in his chosen career, it is guys like him(and me) who make our respective countries safe…… I served in the British Military for Nine years, and proud to do so..,.. we surely need young people to serve in the Military, plus it would give young people a job and a determination to better themselves.
See how U've been open & honest with us , U need to be with him & if u love him & want him to be what he wants u need to speak of ur fears as u saw it first hand.
Now that will help you both & honesty is real & can't be twisted unless u choose to tell a lie too BUT this all about the truth.
Now if U feel U can't speak ur truth then u write it in a letter & once he read it u both have the talk.
I believe that honesty is the ONLY policy & if other dislike the truth then it's their issue as u have been honest.
Personally I hope it goes the way of true love & U both have a HEA
Also sorry to be pedantic but confront is a negative word & talk is the actual truth. U wish to ensure he knows ur truth & do it in a calm loving manner I suggest as our words are more important then our actions.
My thought is that you can’t try to make him abandon his dream. He might resent you for that.
If you don’t want a military/police guy in your family then you need to break up with him.
That being said, I am married to a law enforcement officer of 13 years. I would never choose another life. It is difficult but I am proud of his hard work. Police officers are more likely to die of suicide than to die of homicide. I can be supportive and loving and help him stay alive. If he is murdered at work, I know he died doing what he loved.
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what do I do?
I don't know what to do 
What do I do now???
I don’t know what to do! 
How do I get through ths?
