What do I do now???

[Skatergirl1]

I am feeling really angry..I finally confronted my stepdad who abused me when I was 12, he is obviously denying it because it was on front of someone, and he said go to the police.. I want to, but it is word against mine, I have told people in the past what he did to me but I feel so angry I want revenge but don't know who to tell or where to go. I want my voice to finally be heard

[Indifferentlycalm]

Where are your other parents your mom and dad, you should tell a family member

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Indifferentlycalm]

Sorry, I was abused when I was 12 by my stepdad who had brought me up since I was 10 months old. I am now 57. However he had an affair with my older sister when she was 19, I At the time was 8, my mum found out and tried to commit suicide twice, he also got my sister pregiant and their daughter is now 45. My dad stayed with my mum, out of guilt and we moved 300 miles away to start again. But when I was 12 he abused me for a few months. I didn't tell anyone and was scared if my mum found out she would definafelt kill herself. I pretended everything was normal, and left home when I was 17. I found out a few years ago that my dad had started his affair again with my sister...its too long a story but they are now living together as man and wife as my mum passed 10 years ago and my sisters husband 2 years ago. I have kept everything secret from most people for years. He did admit it In front of my sister years ago, but it all blew up over the weekend and now they are both calling me a liar..I am so angry and feelbetrayed

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Skatergirl1]

Have you considered getting the support of an appropriate agency? Google search Domestic Abuse Organisation helplines and Historic Child Abuse Charity helplines. Get some support with the way forward - reporting him and your recovery. Don't worry about proof get some professional support with this to help you through.

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you, yes I will check them out. Just kept it In for years now want to let itoutx

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Skatergirl1]

Google this:

Non-recent Abuse NSPCC

I just found it & haven't read through but they offer help with how to report Non-recent Abuse.

I'm sure you'll find other agencies too.

There is also Victim Support.

Also rapecrisis that Olivia mentioned.

I think I'd try them all till I found a person/organisation I felt comfortable with.

God Bless xXx

🐥

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you so much x

[Hidden]

Go to the police. I never did. I'm 46 now and fight the demons. Do it for yourself and others he will harm.

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Hidden]

I have no proof...it is his word against mine....but I so want to expose him

[Jeff1943 in reply to Skatergirl1]

Go to the police anyway, they will interview him, even if there is no evidence for a prosecution people will know what he did and say "there's no smoke without fire".

It will give you a measure of closure to know you did everything possible.

You are a very courageous person.

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you for your reply. I just don't want him to make me out as a liar with the rest of the family. I know certain people will believe the lies he and my sister will dream up. I would like to build a case but don't know if any of my friends statement where i have told them In the past will stand up. My emotions are high at the moment

[Jeff1943 in reply to Skatergirl1]

Maybe you underestimate those people in your family who you think would think you a liar, people are better at judging these things than maybe you think.

If people prefer to believe your step father then you know who your friends are. As I say, even if it doesn't come to a prosecution you will know you fought back as hard as you could and will give him a few sleepless nights. This could help towards dealing with the mental scars he may have inflicted.

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you x

[hypercat54 in reply to Jeff1943]

Very true Jeff. x

[Hidden in reply to Skatergirl1]

I’m not sure what country you are in but there are rape crisis centres/lines for help ..it could help to get support from them with this ...xx

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Hidden]

I'm In the UK...thank you xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Here’s one in the U.K. rapecrisis.org.uk

I’m sure they would support you if you contact them for help

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

They would advise your options and maybe support too

[Skatergirl1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I will call them tomorrow x

[Hidden in reply to Skatergirl1]

Best wishes ..🌺🌺

[benmaise]

You must go to the police. He may have abused others . Someone else might speak up and say something similar. Then you are more likely to get them to believe you. Good luck.

[hypercat54]

Hi you have a perfect right to feel angry and have your voice heard. Your stepfather sounds like a paedophile and a very nasty individual. Tell the police. It might come to nothing but at least you will have tried. I presume he is also your sisters stepfather and not real father?

Do get advice and support from an official body though first. The rape crisis centre is a good place to start as they must have heard lots of stories like yours. x

[Skatergirl1 in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks Bev, I'm reeling at the moment and can't believe one of my sisters who knows the truth is now siding with him....but she is now also his partner, so no surprise there, any my other sister I have not spoken to for over 10 years, but she did ask me wether he interfered with me when I was a kid when I was 30 and I told her yes, she also said she didn't trust him around her two boys. But I have done something stupid this morning and told him if he gave me 25k from the sale of his and my mums home I would get out of his life and keep my mouth shut, he is now saying I am trying to blackmail him, and I said no, I want compensation?? Why is life so friggin complicated

[hypercat54 in reply to Skatergirl1]

Oops not a good idea. Mind you if you said it only to him and didn't leave any proof such as a text or email you could always deny it? x

[Skatergirl1 in reply to hypercat54]

Nope it's all on text sadly. When my mum was alive 10 years ago, she always told me the bungalow was going to be left to me...then after she died my sister and stepdad told me it would be split 3 ways, between me, her and their daughter....that was ok. But she has now convinced my dad to sell the bungalow because he now lives with her at her flat as a couple and told me I am only getting 10k and that her other two daughters are getting the same. Sorry I felt betrayed that I have had to play happy families for years and keep all the family secrets, whilst my sister has been bragging about how much money they have spent doing her place up and dad spending 21k on a new set of teeth aged in his 80"s and when I told her a couple of weeks ago about maybe needing lung surgery she asked me to change the subject. She is the one after his money and I lost it as said I want 25k. Did explain that they had promised me a third of the property I. The past and now going back on what they said. Arrg...I am more angry with myself, it is not really about the money but about the betrayal if that makes sense. I was just retaliating....if truth be told they can stick the money and now want my voice heard about the abuse and pain they have caused me and my mum when I was growing up x

[pam4him]

First, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Second, I'm not sure what legal recourse there would be since so much time has passed. Perhaps consider searching for a rape crisis center near you to connect to resources that can direct you. Counseling may help with the strong emotions you are feeling. Prayers for peace and wisdom.

[Skatergirl1]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

You stand firm and speak to the police don't let him intimidate you anymore. Close to my heart abuse is...evil man evil