The

[Doyg]

The problem for me is that we are told that everything will be alright in time. What if it isn't? Meds may help or not. Talk therapy may help or not. Where do we go when these things don't work. Exercise, proper diet, sleep etc might help but many can't do that. So what is left. Positive attitude? God? All of these are helpful of course, but what if you are still unhappy? Is it because we didn't try hard enough? Is it an imbalance of brain chemicals? Why arent we happy? I don't have an answer for this. And folks the medical community doesn't either.

[Hidden]

Hi, I don’t have the answers but I do know that it’s something you have to constantly manage. There is no cure all . Some days you will be good at managing it and some days you will be bad at managing it. The therapists are a support system to have in place.

[Doyg in reply to Hidden]

True

[Roxylox]

Thing is I'm pretty sure life is not a bed of roses for many people. Everyone has their ups and downs. So there are no guarantees for anyone.

It"s about learning to cope with those ups and downs.

[samack]

i think when we are in the thick of depression/anxiety we can't see a future. I've been unwell for a long time now and was at the edge more than once. Now I recognize there is trauma underneath not letting me heal and I am God willing in an appropriate therapy for it. I don't know if I'll make it either but I am giving myself another chance. Ineffective meds Ineffective treatment holds us back. 🙏 for our healing.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

DoygYou are right. All of those things play roles in ones happiness. The hard part is that medical experts know a lot about brain chemistry, but there are 8 billion different brains on Earth and, while similar, each reacts to stressors and medications and interventions differently.

So, yes, try different combos of medications. Yes, try different types of therapies, TMS, talk, neuro-linguistic, ketamine, yoga, mindfulness, meditation, hypnotherapy. Yes, integrate positive lifestyle changes (will also change brain chemistry) like gratitude journal, random acts of kindness, exercise (dopamine), goal setting, square breathing, getting into nature, change jobs, volunteer, take up a new hobby, or write your story.

None work in isolation. All require a commitment and belief they can lighten your load. It is easier to stay where you are in your life, even if it is filled with unhappiness. Doing the work to dig out is hard work. That is why we cannot do it alone. But it is also why we can’t give up.

[Rafiki11]

“Alright” means different things to different people.

To me, “alright” means feeling different emotions without being stuck in one or completely overwhelmed by one. Transitioning from happy to scared to thankful to angry to calm to sad.

I think the way to get to this point is by attacking it from all sides. Healthy relationships, time outside, yoga, therapy, medication, staying hydrated, eating healthy, doing things you enjoy, taking care of yourself, helping others….

[Caroline_24]

I see the world exactly from this perspective . I feel like a lot of things can make me happy but nothing can really take away my great sorrow which is always there and I don't have an answer for it just like you. But there is one think that I believe in: life, no matter how awful and hard might be , is all we got.

[Doyg in reply to Caroline_24]

I guess so. When you feel that your whole life is a failure it's hard to move forward. Letting these feelings go may be necessary but getting to that point is difficult.

[Caroline_24 in reply to Doyg]

yes I agree but we have no other choice, do we? we have to try our best

[Midori]

Hmmmm; I'm not keen on that saying, 'it'll be all right in time'; it is too open ended.

Happiness is a transient thing in my experience; the joy of horseback riding again, the feeling of true love, or at least new love, the achievement of a perfectly cooked meal, A cake I baked and decorated for someone, these bring me joy. Finishing a craft project, a painting, (I'm my own worst critic!).

Life, on the whole is a chore; I enjoy a project, although I can be tardy if there is no deadline. In the current weather, feeling like I've been locked in an oven is exhausting, I can't get on, which is frustrating.

I hate washing up with a vengeance, but until I can get a new kitchen fitted I am stuffed, as I cannot get the (extremely) old and defunct dishwasher out as they used to make them taller so it's rammed up hard under the countertop, the person who last had the house left it behind, and now I know why!

It's too hot for gardening, even my pots in the house need constant watering, and I water the garden plants twice daily at present; dawn and dusk. The weeds are rampant between the slabs, in the beds and everywhere. Buddleia keeps sprouting as well in the cracks of the paving, and I hate that stuff with a vengeance! (I'll certainly experience happiness when that is finally out of the garden!) Too hot even to weed!

On the whole, I think the best we can hope to achieve is contentment, rather than happiness; especially when, like me you are in the closing chapters of your life. I have seen and done much in my life, although I would have loved to do more, travelled more, achieved more, yet disablement has taken much. I have had the joy of two children ( a somewhat mixed blessing!), Two marriages, one goodish, one very bad.) I have enough money to get by relatively comfortably, especially without the car!

On the whole, I have a few regrets, but I am content.

Don't look ahead too far, you can miss opportunities for happiness right under your nose.

Cheers. Midori