Better

[BrownEyesBlue]

I’m feeling a little better. My eyes are so swollen and my spirits a little damaged but no worse for wear.

My confidence really took a beating. The things I said to myself, my internal dialogue has been horrible. At 39 and wanting so bad to find someone and have a baby (I’m a woman so my time is getting short for having babies) I just feel numb and so discouraged.

I know people have it worse than me. I’m struggling so hard and it’s hard when no one fully understands the struggles of mental health.

And this man had the audacity to message me again to say he did the right thing. And that I was making him the bad guy. I admitted my mistake, I apologized. According to him it was 21 messages. Excessive I know. Over a 24 hour period though. And I was hurt and upset. And I saw he read but did not respond so that only fuelled my fire and hurt. I’m not having anything else to do with him. He wants to play the victim that’s fine. And I know not everyone is going to like me but at least don’t lead me on.

Thank you to you all for listening to my rambles and your feedback. I’m grateful for you all ❤️

[b1b1b1]

It sounds like you are well rid of him. As far as 21 messages in 24 hours, that is excessive and makes you seem very needy. If a person likes you they will respond to the first or second message. After that you have to accept that they are not that interested,

As far as having a baby, have you considered adopting or having artificial insemination, perhaps when you have finished your studies. This is quite common now. There is no reason why a woman who is not married cannot decide to have a baby. It seems that with your qualifications you would be well able to support a child.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to b1b1b1]

Take into consideration he read each message as I sent it and chose not to reply. I’m well aware it was excessive. He was avoiding me because he wanted to be the nice guy. I’ve accepted he’s not interested; just be upfront. I was angry and mad and HURT; so I sent the messages. I’m far from needy as I can stand on my own two feet.

I work to support myself and where I live it’s not as simple as to adopt or go to a sperm bank. It’s expensive for one. And I am more than aware I don’t need to be married to have a child. I’m up with the times sure.

Thank you though for your response. I found it to be critical but I can take it. I took it has though you were judging me.

[Tara52 in reply to b1b1b1]

👍💗

[detour13]

Just delete his number .. That's the best thing to do... don't worry you will find your man that will love you, adore you and be there for you whatever life throws at you!!!

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to detour13]

I have him blocked and deleted. Thank you. I hope so. Right now I don’t feel so hopeful.

[detour13 in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

Like I said it's going to be tough but you will get over it,,,

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to detour13]

I know. My heart literally hurts.

[detour13 in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

Lean on your friends and family,, keep your mind busy .. Go visiting