When I first started with my depression I got into a drinking habit. It wasn't everyday but sometimes it felt right to numb myself with alcohol. It got to a point where it changed my attitude I just wanted to fell like a bad girl. I got into smoking vapes even though I have asthma. I did a little of research to see if smoking would kill me. All I wanted was to feel free. I even tried poppers once with my friend and brother. I was able to stop the drinking last year when my mom got covid I just wanted to fix my life. I felt broken and damaged. But after 8 months of not drinking I did it again just a few more times. But I had to tell myself to stop and I did yet it's so hard. Yesterday was one of those days I felt numb and alone I want to drink so bad. It was never like an addiction or maybe it is but I want out sometimes. I want to run away. I want to drink so much that I won't remember myself. I want to smoke and find anything to remove myself from this life I have. I have been tempted to drink and my brother drinks so often I sometimes wish I could be like that too. Right now one of my friends is going through depression and I would gladly join in this drinking moment she is going through but I have been avoiding her and my other friend. The thing is that the one that is there for her was there for me and sometimes made drinking such an easy way out and it is upsetting. I wish my friend wouldn't make drinking the only answer to get rid of depression or sadness. Is she forcing us to numb the pain or are we that damaged we don't see it as a bad thing?
But I said one addiction at a time. I will stop and get on the right path
Written by
Foreverbroken31
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I used alcohol for 22 years. It ruined my career and family. Been sober 22 years but with emotional pain. I still want a quick fix. Stick with your support group.
The pain of going through the fire of depression leads to true healing. The pain of relying on and depending on alcohol and other substances leads only to more pain and further away from healing. Compare the two paths and the choice becomes much clearer. Wishing you support and encouragement…….
I have been more myself without the alcohol. I do choose not to drink each day and even though it's hard I like that I'm calm and trying to be my old self. But sometimes being stuck in this situation with my parents also doesn't help at all. I want a way out but at the moment I don't see a way out at least not yet.
Hi Redeemed , hey your already half way there, just by admitting you have a problem , your drinking is a self coping /self medicating thing I did for years. You need to get your depression under control. It's not easy , but you can do it! First you need to get your self healthy ,good nutrition and plenty of exercise the martial arts is what helped me alot. You can try CBD if you have access to it i take it everyday . I don;t take any Pharma drugs , also get some omega3 fish oil to feed your brain. Good Luck!
It's not about healthy ways. It's about healthy habits and a good doctor to mentor you through this long and difficult battle with depression and addictions. I won't speak about alcohol because I didn't cope with this issue. I'll talk only about depression from my viewpoint and experience. Depression can be caused by several issues. You might have a poor diet, you live in a region with bad climate, or you have a worried soul. All these causes need a professional treatment. A doctor will help you determine the cause and find the best solution for you. Otherwise, you can try some instructions like this one harmonyretreat.co.za to fight with anxiety and depression.
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