I want to give up

[Mumma_h]

I've never felt like wanting to take my life , but the feelings just come rushing in . I had a major panic attack today , never had one before , I must've lost some oxygen, my hands went numb and I almost passed out . I was terrified. I desperately wanted to end it all there and then . Someone give me hope , I'm getting worse every day and scared my support system will get sick of me . This depression has come on very suddenly. I don't want to die , I have nearly grown up children and don't want to do that to them , but I'm thinking about it more and more and when those feelings come on it feels like the only way to escape the pain.

[tamka38]

Oh please don’t end your life, Can u make appointment to see your doctor and if u still having problems coping u can always go to the hospital and they can give u something to relax you am sorry u going through this I had my first panic attack in my teen years after smoking marijuana I thought I was dying and I experience derealization and depersonalization and I was having panic attacks daily non stop I stay at the E.R. And I know they got tired of seeing me and then I had to learn to accept them and learned breathing exercise and meditation and praying and now am on antidepressant been on for 2 weeks because I stop drinking alcohol 1 month 20 days ago and I needed something to help me alone the way and I have Xanax for panic attacks but don’t take it because is very addictive

[Mumma_h in reply to tamka38]

Thankyou Tamka, I'm going to hold on , I went to my doctor and they've doubled my antidepressants. They've given me anxiety tablets but the doctors don't like to give them as they're addictive I think, but it's all that's getting me through. I'm allowed one a day but have already had two . It's better than being dead. I don't know how I'm going to get better. I hope I do . I'm so tired I'm so scared. Thankyou for your reply , I'm clinging to any encouragement I can get . I can't stop this terrible feeling, I just don't want to be in pain anymore

[tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h]

I understand and struggling too and didn’t get and sleep last night woke up and took my medication. What medication are u on? And how many weeks? How many mg? Am on zoloft 50 mg been on it for 2 weeks

[Mumma_h in reply to tamka38]

I am on Zoloft too, and also for about two weeks, yesterday the doctor doubled the dosage so I'm now 100mg a day . And the anxiety tablets are called alopam. Have you noticed any positive change in your mood yet, I havnt but I think that's more to do with my circumstances .

[tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h]

Zoloft makes me drowsy after like 30 minutes to a hour . Am under a lot of stress too my mom had a seizure Sunday and just got out the hospital and they found a brain tumor and my son has Crohn’s disease and only weight 84lbs and am struggling with depression and anxiety please keep me updated on thanks

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to Mumma_h]

Are you taking a benzodiazepine? And what antidepressants are you taking if I may ask?

[Mumma_h in reply to anxietyforlife2018]

Taking Zoloft , which has just been doubled to 100 Mg a day the other anxiety tablets are alopam

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to Mumma_h]

As a triple board certified DNP in Psychiatric care, Trauma care, and primary care, I don’t believe Zoloft works anymore it hasn’t in my last 20 patients.

[Southpark in reply to anxietyforlife2018]

What do you suggest? Zoloft made me worse.

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to Southpark]

I suggest Pristiq

[Southpark in reply to anxietyforlife2018]

As a practitioner I’m believing what you said about Zoloft. I tried to “make it through” 3 months of nauseau, no appetite, losing weight. My dr. Told me to try to hold on, but it was the worst 3 months of my life. I wished I had the money to get gene testing to see what antidepressant would work for me. Up till then it is all guesswork. The patient

Suffers from the side effects of all the meds they are trying. The gene test should be covered by insurance before any antidepressant is given to anyone. I actually had a psychiatrist tell me they “don’t have a crystal ball” to know what works and what doesn’t.

Please tell me more of what you think regarding all of this

I think nutrition has a lot to do with all if this. I’m working with a nutrionist after trying different meds and experiencing all the side effects It’s a slower process but in the end, worth it.

[tamka38 in reply to anxietyforlife2018]

Zoloft work for different people

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to tamka38]

Um, aspect of it isn’t good.

[Iloveart7 in reply to Mumma_h]

Sometimes medications take a while until you see improvement. So try to hang in there! I'm sorry you are struggling so much. (((Hugs)))

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to Iloveart7]

It shouldn’t take this long

[tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h]

Hope you’re feeling a little better how did the 100mg make u feel

[anxietyforlife2018 in reply to tamka38]

Probably worst

[Rabbithole720]

I get these feeling too.. and it’s so scary when I do. But I think of my children and husband and as long as they are ok and healthy it’s really all i can ask for. I get so scared that I think this was but the attacks are so awful. I woke up this morning and had one immediately. I hate hate hate this I don’t medicate I do go to therapy but when it’s tough nothing helps. You will get thru this. Force yourself to go out to do something shake up the energy! You got this!

[mer8]

Although I don't have children, I am an adult female and I was in your shoes last week. Crying non-stop, horrible nausea, and the feeling that if I just didn't wake up, it would be for the best.

First thing I did was call my mom. She immediately told me to call my psychiatrist and my therapist. It took some courage as it was very early on a Saturday morning but I did it. I also texted with several of my girlfriends and let them know what was going on with me. I felt like the more people I had to hold me accountable for sticking around, the better the chance I had.

Sharing your situation with others is terrifying since a lot of people out there don't quite understand how severe anxiety and depression can be especially when it manifests itself into physical symptoms. Coming to this forum is a good step in the right direction. It seems to be a good sounding board. I wish I had a magic solution that I could share with everyone. But until that day comes I can just encourage you to keep on keeping on and try to get on that recovery path with a good combination of Doctors, therapists, exercise, meditation, and relaxation.

[Mumma_h]

Thankyou so so much everyone for responding to my post , I feel less alone. I have called my close friends and family so they know what's going on with me . But I'm not getting better,im getting worse . I'm saying yes to any help I can get because I'm so scared of this destroying me . Seeing people for the next few days cos I'm scared if I have an attack I'll actually go through with it . I have a friend I can call on anytime and I feel so much better after talking to her but I don't want to burden her . I will continue to hang in there . Sorry, I'm all over the place too, forgetting stuff because of the meds I think

[Hidden]

I know the feeling. We just have to hang in there, get support and keep pressing forward. I hope you are ok.

[Calm_mama]

Hi Mumma_h,

A few things I'll mention to you!

First, big hugs

Second, I'm sure you've had a thorough workup but do make sure the doc checked your thyroid.

Next, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are OK. It is anxiety, which feels incredibly intense and unreal, but it is actually completely harmless. Truly, it is completely harmless.

Now, the depression is a very natural component of anxiety. When people are so tied up in knots, not at all understanding what is happening to them, it is natural to despair, feel completely defeated, confused, bewildered, and of course depressed.

Next, Zoloft does help many people. I'm a nurse practitioner, not in psych but in general practice and Zoloft works as well as the next antidepressant. I respectfully disagree with one of the opinions here on zoloft! Stick with it. Your doc I'm sure has told you it takes 4-6 weeks to really take effect. If it turns out it's not the one for you, that's OK, your doc will try you on another one

Are you on Alopam or Alprazolam? They are both benzos but slightly different. Alopam is not available in the US I believe. Either way, this class of med is to get you through this tough spot. It settles anxiety down for a nap- very directly. As soon as you can, back off on it. Work closely with your doc on this. It is important to work towards reducing/eliminating eventually because yes, it is addictive but there's another important reason- you actually need to feel anxiety, in all its intensity, in order to recover. Yes, work with your doc to get some respite right now with the alprazolam (Or Alopam), but ultimately the goal is to reduce the dose and stop it completely.

As soon as you can, I recommend to Dr. Claire Weekes' audio- link below. This is the anxiety genius of all time. You will see her name throughout the posts here. She has helped so many untie the knots and start to feel better and ultimately- recover.

I recommend listening to it multiple times. Anxiety is giving you incorrect messages right now and when that happens, I think people do best when they overwrite those messages over and over until anxiety's banter becomes more like background noise

youtu.be/MHr4a71XGJE(Not working as expected?)

Next, are you in therapy? If not, do find a good therapist who really knows anxiety. A good therapist can work magic with you.

Lastly, the other resources on my profile are all variations on Dr. Weekes' work and her approach. Wishing you all the best~

[Boeta]

Yes...been there...believe me, it is not the answer...since then I've radically changed my perspective on LIFE...first thing i did, or rather my daughter did, was to get me a Labrador puppy(my favorite breed)...hell,this dog was very mischievous and kept my busy with cleaning up or going for long walks..alone during the day,we use to have one-sided conversations(lol)...but i could tell her anything ....everything....she came to heal me, since then she passed on...I managed to get through the grief of losing her....healed! I think! So just focus on other people or things or family or pets or the sun or or or or...one other best one can do is go out to hospital or home for the aged or place where people are dying...be around with gesture of goodwill....you do not escape the pain, but look at it...tell the pain that you are not afraid of it...WHAT YOU RESIST PERSIST....sending love and light..you are stronger than you think,,,and remember...another name for GOD is LOVE...suicide is not an option, but the God for everyone is!

[froggymom88]

When you feel this rush of anxiety and depression try to remember a time,event or day when things were better. Cling to positive thoughts of friends and family who love you. Remember you are a wonderful creation and deserve life and happiness. Sending hugs.