Depression anxiety and despair

[Doyg]

I have suffered from clinical depression for years. I've lost a 20 year relationship and have had a hard time. Work is not going well. My apartment does not feel like home. Everything is turned upside down. I cannot get appointment with psychiatrist for another month. Life isn't going well. How do you cope,?

[EndUser13]

Generally speaking, I don't think I really deal with depression much, certainly not clinical depression (MDD)... however... I get through my days one step at a time (not one day at a time, but moment to moment). I have a number of hobbies I enjoy, a small circle of friends I chat with, and a rough routine to follow. When I feel down or overwhelmed I realize that those are the times in which I need to force myself to get off my butt and do something. Sometimes it feels like I'm just going through the motions but once I get going things seem a little easier. Someone just made a post today that included the fact that beginning to exercise can often be the most difficult part for a depressed person. Once you have a routine, it's easier to keep up with what you're doing, kind of like physics- a body in motion tends to stay in motion

[Roxylox in reply to EndUser13]

Similarly, l was feeling very hurt today by overheard nasty gossip about me yesterday. I threw myself lnto some of the more difficult household chores and somehow l began to feel better.

My default reaction would normally be to comfort eat. I was so glad I didn't do that.

[EndUser13 in reply to Roxylox]

I have to wonder about people who feel the need to be nasty or gossip... like are they broken in some way or just missing out and hateful for it? I really appreciate how kind most people are on these forums, it means a lot

[Roxylox in reply to EndUser13]

This is the best site I have found. It is way more straightforward than others and people can give amazing advice. Perhaps I could use my experiences to be kinder to others , instead of letting anger grow inside in me, I know anger can poison, Even physically . Thanks for your reply EndUser

[libragirl73]

I am terribly sorry for the loss of your relationship. I am sure the pain of that and feeling work is not going well is like a double whammy. I have been there as well so I can relate. It is hard when you are depressed to do anything as I have found many times myself. Routine of some sort is key. I am assuming work is not going well because of your depression? If you do not like it anymore, perhaps looking for another job can give you focus which will help you feel productive. Try to spend time with family and friends, people who add to your life who can bring you some joy while you are going through this tough time. You did not say anything about therapy but a psychiatrist. Individual or group therapy has worked for me and still does. I see a therapist once a week and call her in between if I am about have a melt down. Just know that you WILL get through this. Nothing feels right to you, because you just had a great loss. You need to understand that you are also grieving that relationship. Be kind to yourself, I know it is so hard at times, but once you get the help you need, you will feel like you are going in a good direction. Wishing you the best of luck and peace of mind.

[Jane_5060]

Hey - I hear ya! Not to be flip but it sounds like just another Tuesday for me. I had a very tough time seeing my shrink for the longest time due to Covid, weather and I felt too depressed to even talk to her. I don’t get to see her every week the same time and place either. I guess my point here is consistency is so good for therapy. But, if it’s all over the map or you don’t have anyone yet it can feel very tough. Once you get one and a good schedule I hope and pray that will be a big benefit for you. I also think you really do have crappy things to deal with right now, a lot of them and it’s such a pain. It wears you down. Going through with a laundry list of items of my own that’s pulling me down. Getting some support but not enough. Always try to appreciate the support I do get but…have you ever noticed how non-depressives tend to think we, depressed people “keep score” with all our problems as if we are trying to make them seem more legitimate because we have so many and can name them all at the drop of a hat? and so therefore we deserve more sympathy, period? Ticks me off! Also has anyone else noticed if one thing changes for the better every one expects us to be so happy about it. My response is always, “Well it’s about frickin’ time something goes right.” Am I the only one? Sorry I went off a bit. You probably hear this all the time Doyg, but please don’t give up!! We will try to find ways to help!💕🙏❤️

[Doyg in reply to Jane_5060]

Thank you for your post Right now is very difficult. I don't see a future at this point but I'll keep fighting

[Oshgosh in reply to Doyg]

Keep going.yYOU ARE NOT ALONE XX

[Jane_5060]

Sorry Doyg - just re-read my post to you. It was fragmented and kinda sloppy but know I care. We do care. Some days I don’t see a future either or at least not a very good one because my future will be filled with problems that I know will be difficult and I will be on my own. Some of this is my own fault and some of it is just the way it has turned out. I will have to fight my way which isn’t my style but I will have to do it. I will have to do the best I can and you will to. We’ll just have to find ways to do it. Just get it done and we will!💕🙏