Depression and Anxiety

Hello! This is my first time sharing this with anyone who's not family and friends but I think I suffer from depression and anxiety. It started last year and I thought I was going through a mild nostalgia phase (left my home to study in a foreign country) but it's still going on this year and it's a hundred times worse than when it started. I feel like a constant failure, I'm doubting myself and my capacities. I used to be a straight A student and I can barely get a D now. I really don't know how to stop it. I started seeing a psychologist but the negative thoughts won't go away. At times, I just want to leave my apartment and go jump off the bridge that's a hundred feet away from me. It's suffocating and I feel like I keep spiraling down with each passing day. If anyone can help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[Sillysausage234]

Welcome to the forum.

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Thank you

[Tealribbon]

Welcome Exsia. I have anxiety and depression too. The thing about anxiety is, it can lie and it can be very convincing!!

You are not failure, but I hear you feel like it. You are an A student who left the familiar. That took a lot of courage. Anxiety brings with it that fight or flight sensation. What did the psychologist suggest? There are things to help cope but honestly it takes a bit of time. How are you sleeping? Eating? Getting some sunshine?

[Hidden in reply to Tealribbon]

Thank you, Tealribbon. I only saw the psychologist once, and I have about 2 more weeks to wait before I can see her again. I try as much as I can to stay healthy and all but I don't think it's making much of a difference.

[Tealribbon in reply to Hidden]

Well, honestly, I understand. My anxiety makes even simple tasks overwhelmingly difficult. I have a counselor and when I talk with her I feel better for a bit. I really try to do one day at a time....sometimes just one hour at a time. Have you made friends where u r studying?

[Hidden in reply to Tealribbon]

I actually have friends from my country with me. It's just that I don't have the energy to entertain people and act like I'm alright. It wears me out. So I stay alone.

[Solidrain]

Welcome Edsia, you’re in the right place. I just recently joined this site and I’ve so far been overwhelmed by the support. I also suffer from depression and I have found school to be infinitely harder because of it. Is there any support system at your school? If so it might be worth while checking out. Sometimes even taking a reduced course load if enough to make a difference. Don’t beat yourself up, keep your head high and keep on trying.

[Hidden in reply to Solidrain]

Thank you for the support, Solidrain! I am seeing a psychologist outside of school. I do hope that helps me get better.

[Shortyluv]

I'm sorry to hear that I all too well know about anxiety & depression. I've suffered with it for years. Have you seen a therapist? You really need to go talk to somebody suicide is NOT the answer GET HELP!!! I myself thought about suicide in the past before but I got help! I can completely relate to what you're going through. I'm here if you need to chat.

[KittenMittens22]

Don’t let your grades define you. From my understanding other countries have harder courses and teachings. I feel like Americans aren’t given as god of an education. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Studying in a different country is going to be challenging. You are more than a letter grade.

Try to find something that makes you happy. A beautiful place to sit and enjoy. A favorite food dish. Nurture yourself. The more you do that brings you joy, the more feel good endorphins your brain will produce. Sunshine and exercise is also supposed to be a way to induce endorphins.

[Hidden in reply to KittenMittens22]

Thank you, KittenMittens22! I sing and read a bit but it's always just a fleeting relief, it never lasts long enough. Really going through the motions here. I hope winter break can help me figure out a bit more. Also, not from the USA but yes, this last year is really turning out to be a battle against myself.