I recently lost one of the most important people in my life and I've just struggled to care about anything else. Even my own wellbeing - I've lost half a stone from not having any appetite.
I feel alone, my hobbies are not interesting to me and very little actually seems to capture my attention and hold my focus. I just wish things were different and she was right back here by my side. Life is hard and long and boring but having her around made it that much more worthwhile.
I understand. I lost my best friend and mother two weeks apart 10 years ago. It was so hard, I couldn't call my bf and tell her how I was feeling and vise versa. I had a nervous breakdown and became Agoraphobic for 5 years. I don't wish that on anyone. I know this isn't just feeling down, you need to talk this out or it will fester in you and take every bit of your joy. Please do grief counciling I wish someone would have suggested it when I was going through my struggle. A few years ago I was doing grief therapy, CBT and PTSD workbooks. I pulled out of my funk, not to say I don't still get into it once and a while but I no longer unpack there to stay. I hope you can find your peace with this as it will help you to remember her with a smile instead of tears. I'm here if you need to talk. Gentle hugs😔
Thank you. The worst part might be that she is still very much alive, she just doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I am treating it like a death though because I have no other choice.
I never wanted to depend on another single individual again in my life (because I have experienced similar before) but I just fell into that trap because I thought things might be different this time.I am currently doing counselling though, because the pain I feel is very real to me.
😞
Yes I have a friend who I have had to cut out of my life last week and it was so hard. He has a problem with drugs and alcohol and he fell off the wagon and instead of asking for help or tell me the truth, he lied to me. Looked right at me and lied and then got caught up in his lie by showing up somewhere we were suppose to go together. I haven't talked to him in a week and he has made no attempt to text or speak to me. My siblings only get a hold of me when they need help or money, my father tell everyone to tell me to call him as I told him three years ago the phone works both ways, he can call my sister's and shoot the sh*t for hours. My husband doesn't spend any time at home, from the minute he gets up until he goes to bed he makes sure he is gone. I am chained to my house as I am the sole caretaker for my two sons as they are from my first marriage and their dad is mentally ill and comes once and a while for 10 minutes to check on them. I get it I have become my own best friend and at least I know I have my back. I hope you have others to confide in and relax with but if not become your best friend, no one knows you better than you and you know how you like things and how to be treated. Gentle hugs 🤗🤗
Cutting trash out of your life is worth it in the long run though. I've had friendships and relationships end which I've benefitted from, but this one, so unexpected and important to me, it's just really hit me. I'm a social creature and I need to be around people. I realised that a few years ago during a particularly tough time of my life.I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you manage it well though and at least can understand the motives/intentions of those around you. It's good you've got your own back at least.
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I understand the feeling. Even getting up in the morning can feel like a step too far.
I get the lack of motivation to do anything too; although I have lots of hobbies, I just can't drag up the energy. Sometimes I just want to quietly rot in the corner, and be no trouble to anyone.
Even DVDs and books, my usual go tos are too much to bother with.
It isn't just my physical conditions, normally I am upbeat, with a wickedly funny set of teeshirts, but having to shield from Covid for 15 months now, has knocked my confidence, and my brain is turning to mush.
Have you seen your GP? The loneliness seems to be a large part in your case since the loss of your significant other. If you haven't, and I know it is difficult right now, it is important to see your GP and get some help; it is out there, I promise! We are all here for you, so you have made the first step.
Cheers, Midori
Yeah that makes sense to me. I'm tired of suffering like this, but sometimes I have no energy or motivation for anything else. Video games were normally my biggest time sink out with my relationship and I just dont care for them at all right now.
I've not seen my GP for a long time thanks to covid, but I've been on antidepressants for years and just upped my dosage the other night. And I am doing private counselling. So I'm trying to take some steps, but I can't ignore this feeling of emptiness I now have without her.
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed 
Overwhelmed 
Existence is overwhelming
Overwhelmed...
