I lost my husband two years ago today and I’m still not over the loss. I find it hard everyday to put in a smile or to even get out of bed and function like I should. We have two children together and honestly they are the only reason that I get up and get things taken care of. I spend all of my time thinking about how I am just screwing up their lives. That I can’t manage without him. I ended up losing my job, my home and now my will to go on. I’m not suicidal, I. Stronger than that, but I do spend most of my time faking a smile or a laugh just so they don’t see how much pain I’m in. I want to be strong for them but I know I can’t do it like this. I am just looking for someone to talk to that can help me not feel like such a failure to them or a failure in life.
Overwhelmed : I lost my husband two... - Anxiety and Depre...
Overwhelmed
I don’t know you, but I can tell that you’re strong. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you and your children. But you’re not perfect and that’s okay but you’re providing for them and that’s all that matters you’re still here being a mother to them. You don’t always have to act okay for them it’s okay to be sad you’re allowed to grieve and be in pain regardless of the time frame. You must teach your children to be strong, but not through silent suffering. I personally think therapy might be a good thing to try you never know how much it could help and you deserve to find some good coping skills even with the loss of your husband. You deserve to be happy and not fake the funk anymore. I’m here and you are appreciated and you’re not a failure to anyone!
Hello Finding!
You’re definitely not a failure! You’re trying to pick up the pieces of your life since the unfortunate death of your husband. I’m so sorry for your loss...I just can’t imagine what you must be going through. Obviously you loved him very much. Try to prioritize the stuff that needs to be done and start with the first task on the list. Complete one task a day. Baby steps! Live in today, the moment, forgetting the past and the future. Distract yourself when you begin to worry. Think positively! Let go of the negativity in your life. Be grateful for what you have. Things will get better if you slow down, get some organization going, make yourself complete one task each day, and think positively! Focus on the good! Wishing you peace on your journey!
I have read your response several times now and I think it has touched me the most. I am trying to take on everything all at once. Just seeing that someone can take a step outside and put things in perspective with a simple phrase “baby steps”. Thank you.
Anytime, my friend! The “baby steps” concept works for me! Break it down! Sending you hugs!
Piglet has given you terrific advice. As a teenager, I watched my mother grieve when my Dad died. I learned her amazing strength while she suffered. She cried, got mad and said the wrong things sometimes, but she also put one foot in front of the other and kept trying. She found help in bereavement groups, church and writing in a notebook. She would write my Dad letters and burn them in our fireplace.
You are stronger than you realize, as you have made it this far without some help. Reach out to people that can assist you and be proud of yourself for not giving up! 🌼🌸🌺
I don’t think I’m ready to go to a group. I can’t talk about it without breaking down. I do take time every night to tell him about my day and to let him know about his kids and how they are doing and what they are going thru. It just feels like it’s so much harder without him around. My biggest worry is how it effects my kids.
How about this.... if you can for just a moment, ask yourself what advice you would give a person in your shoes? Would you tell them that going it alone is the way to go? Would you suggest they reach out for help to a therapist or group help?
If your advice to yourself included going to a group... don’t worry that you are going to break down and be alone. Everyone will be in the same boat. My mom talked about crying through the entire meeting, month after month. I think you trying to stand on your own is understandable, but making it harder. You don’t have to do this alone!!
Have you thought about a bereavement support group?
I have thought about going to see someone but I can’t even think about it without breaking into tears. I can’t bring myself to talk about it. I just feel like everything I do is wrong.
Not someone but a group of people who feel like you do?
You are not weak, if you are reaching out...you are just uncertain about what your next path might be... What you are going through is completely normal...I'm not married, but if I lost my sweetheart, I'd be feeling the same. The key is to connect--which you are doing, here--and to get some grief counseling. It really can help. We lost our Mom a while back; the hospice folks were very kind and encouraging...they understood that it can be awkward and intimidating to come in and talk, afterwards; they set up electronic articles and worksheets, specifically aimed at how the survivor feels, and emailed them to us...I felt so validated and clear, after most of the exercises. By the time I made the appointment to come in and speak with someone, I knew what I needed to talk about the most.
Two years later, we lost our dad, unexpectedly. I went back over my information, and it kept me focused...again, validation for what you are feeling--or, aren't--is so important. Everyone is different...yet, some of the bridges of experience are the same...
I truly hope that you can connect with someone who can help you, professionally, whether that is online, or in person...blessings and best wishes...
Hi- I’m sorry for your loss. When my father passed away, it was also hard for my mother to adjust to her new life. My father was the breadwinner in the family, my mom had a part-time job and she was left with 6 children. She was grieving over the loss of my father and at the same time taking care of my younger siblings. Thankfully, my mom was surrounded with family and friends who consistently encouraged her. Because of their help and support, my mother was able to overcome the pain and difficulty of facing the life without my father.
I want to encourage you to please stay strong. You are not a failure. Your children needs you. Surround yourself with people who will encourage and support you. Keep sharing we are here for you. You are in my prayers.
I am so sorry about your loss, and to deal with your job and home also. I couldn't even imagine having to go through all of that at once, and to have to be strong for kids. It is okay to be human, and it's nice that you came here. You are not a failure- you are there for the kids, and it is human to be sad. Sometimes , I wonder why we expect people to be strong or silent all of the time. That is impossible. I am sure that you miss your husband very much, and he would appreciate what you are doing.
Please join a grief support group. I have a friend who didn’t join for months and kept her grief to herself, she finally joined. She isn’t ready to share with the group because it hurts too much,
But she says just being there has helped so much. If you are a Christian there is a group called Grief Care. Please look into it ❤️
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
Related Posts
Overwhelmed 
Overwhelmed 
The overwhelming friend. 
Overwhelmed and Scared
Completely overwhelmed Moderation team
