Separation anxiety

[gilded_masquerade]

I’ve noticed in the past few years that whenever my parents leave the house, even if only briefly, I tend to freak out. When I first wake up and they’re gone I’m fine because I’m too tired to care but if I’ve been up for a bit then they leave, I get nervous.

It’s been getting better, I only get shaky (albeit pretty shaky, worse than caffeine jitters) but it legitimately bothers me. I don’t know why or how it started up but it’s embarrassing. I’m almost 26 and now I’m dealing with this.

I live with my parents, autistic brother and my boyfriend and both of my parents are retired.

I used to think it’s because whenever my brother and I are left home alone, that I felt more alone because IF something were to happen to me, my brother wouldn’t be able to do much (NOT insulting him in anyway it’s just he doesn’t understand certain situations) or I don’t want my meltdown to effect him.

But it still happens even if my boyfriend is here with me, which doesn’t make much sense to me.

The only other thing I can think of is that because my brother needed extra attention because of his condition when we were growing up, I was often doing my own thing on my own, that’s the on my thing I can really think of apart from my traumatic experiences and such but I don’t know if that would play a part in this or not.

I used to be perfectly fine a couple years ago, I’d actually be content with being home alone but now I get nervous and apprehensive and I don’t know why.

NOT asking for a diagnosis or anything of that nature, just talking into the void I suppose and talking about something that’s made me embarrassed or what have you within the past while. I feel like a bit of a loser because of it.

Take care 🖤

[MMoth]

Honey, you are not a loser because you are anxious when your parents are out. I don’t know the reason, but I know you are not a loser. Not a loser. Find a therapist and talk it through.

[gilded_masquerade in reply to MMoth]

Thanks, just makes me feel dumb when the moment hits. I don’t know why either but the last counsellor I saw said it’s because I have “child coping mechanisms” so maybe that plays a part in it, I don’t know.

I would if I could but I don’t have the money nor the resources where I’m living (a small rural town) and the province I’m living in is almost in complete lockdown again so even if I wanted to, I don’t think it would happen 😕

Thank you for commenting and I hope you’re doing well 😌

Take care 🖤

[Hidden]

We’re you born somewhere else and not where you live now?

That’s kinda sweet. You are loyal to your parents. They are retired. Maybe you worry for them in the world.

Caffeine does trigger anxiety.

[gilded_masquerade in reply to Hidden]

I’m from a military family. I moved to a small rural town a year and a half before I graduated high school then moved 3 hrs away for college (before moving back 7 months later thanks to my abusive, narcissistic boyfriend) but I was okay until I moved back in with my parents 4 years ago and when I dumped my ex around the same time.

My parents are basically my best friends since all my friends live in the city 😅

I only drink decaf now and have been I think for almost 2 years but yes I wholeheartedly agree!

Thank you for commenting, hope you’re doing well! 😌

Take care 🖤

[Hidden in reply to gilded_masquerade]

I think you stated many factors. You’re a good daughter. People like your narcissistic bf need to go. They trap us lol. Runnnnn ahhaha. For the hills.

I hope you can talk about the past traumatic experiences you went through with a Counsellor. There are many survivor groups out there. They can be helpful.

[gilded_masquerade in reply to Hidden]

I try to be even if I don’t always feel that way 😅

And oh I have lol even though he still tries to get his foot in the door, even to this day lol but no, never again.

My last counsellor recommended a workbook to me was the method he was using when I last saw him so I’m hoping I can benefit in someway from it, even if it’s minuscule, I’ll take it aha.

Thank you 😌🖤