Anxiety tips

[Lmickey]

Hey everyone I’m new to this site! I’m not really sure how this works but I’m learning the jest of it. I’m 21 and have been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I wanted to come to this site for some help and tips on anxiety. I struggle with severe anxiety when it comes to my boyfriend. My main problem is the fear of him looking at other girls. We’ve had problems before about it how he had wondering eyes but he’s 100% loyal and loves me I just know he’s ADD and likes to look around a lot. But Iv caught him looking up attractive girls on social media before too. I have a slight anxiety attack whenever there is an attractive female in the same area as us and I get mad and upset and can’t help it. It has gotten so bad to the point we were at the beach and I went to the bathroom and bawled my eyes out bc I couldn’t relax knowing there were good looking women right by us especially in swim suits. I have an idea where my anxiety stems from (watching my parents relationship growing up as a kid and how my dad treated my mom) I just don’t know how to calm down when my anxiety spikes up. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated

[faulhallen]

Hello and welcome to the group!

I’m sorry but I don’t have the best of advice for your particular kind of anxiety that I believe will help but I sent you a message because I had questions about your boyfriend’s wondering eye and as someone who is pretty loyal and has adhd I wanted to see if my perspective on it might help or show you a potential warning sign. I am by no means guaranteeing you my point of view applies but I wanted to share.

Either way welcome to the group! I hope you find someone who is capable of providing you the relief from your anxiety that you are seeking and I hope things improve for you 🙂

[Hidden]

🌸 hi this anxiety I do have from time time. I find it happens to me when I am really insecure about myself and if I hate myself surely my husband does to. I would go through his phone and see what I want to see and blame him for liking someone else. the anxiety would cause me to be nauseous, I would get dizzy and panic. what I am trying to do now is build my confidence in my relationship and try not over react. this is not to be telling you what to do its just me sharing my situation and how I try to cope. hope things start looking up for you 🌸

[Lmickey in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply! I defiantly have gone through the nausea and dizziness it was only a couple months ago I googled it and realized it was my bad anxiety causing me to feel sick that way. I didn’t know that would of been a cause. I defiantly am super insecure and he always tries to boost my confidence. It wasn’t until this year til I actually wore a bikini without clothes covering! He has helped boost my confidence a lot I still do have super low confidence but I’m trying to eat healthy and go back to the gym to help my confidence and I think that’ll help with my anxiety. Thank you so much I’m really happy I’m not the only one who has anxiety over the same situation

[Ichthymom]

I can see my 20 year old self in your post. I used to have anxiety about my then bf about looking at other girls. And there were some other issues that I had on top of my anxiety too. I had low self esteem, trust issues and low self worth; these made my anxiety worse. Can you be having similar problems too? One way that helped me deal with my anxiety back then was to deal with the other issues. By building my self esteem, believing that I had more self worth than I thought I did and letting go of previous hurts that lead to my trust issues. Because they were part of the formula that made my anxiety spike, I tried dealing with those first. Hope this helped you in some way.

[Lmickey in reply to Ichthymom]

Thank you I’m happy I am not alone! I defiantly have trust issues bc my dad cheated on my mom for 7 plus years and was just a very bad person and I refuse to talk to him it’s been just about two years since we’ve talked so I no that’s a huge part of it. Is the fear of him lusting at another woman I haven’t had a lot of self esteem growing up but my boyfriend has helped me so much with it now that I defiantly have more confidence and it’s only getting better. It’s tougher in today’s society bc of social media portraying females and males as to be perfect and attractive. So my boyfriend talked to me about deleting my Instagram app about a week ago to see if maybe my self esteem will get better bc every time I get on that app I start comparing myself and I get upset. So it’s been a week and it’s helping for sure. He also deleted his account too so I think him having it gone has helped my anxiety too. I wished it would all go away bc it weighs heavy on me everyday

[Ichthymom in reply to Lmickey]

I'm glad to hear that your bf is putting effort into helping you through it. Yea, it's hard not to compare yourself with others. I still have that issue from time to time. I'm working on it, still. I hope it gets better in time for you!

[Lmickey in reply to Ichthymom]

Oh it’s so easy to be negative when you start to compare it’s sad! But yes I’m working on it too! we have to be more accepting of ourselves and realize how beautiful we truly are thank you!! You as well!