Living for self, no, for others, yea that’s why the living. Otherwise I have no wish to live any longer. I only am here for my kids. I should also I suppose stay for myself but I’m in so much pain that I’d be being compassionate to let myself leave but then where would that put me well I don’t know.
I woke depressed and ran this morning and felt a bit better so I will go run soon. I’m so depressed that even if I do feel better then so what? What’s the point? Who cares if I feel better or not. It doesnt even matter.
I know I’m not right in the head. I think I’ll call my therapist again.
Life is becoming my hell.