I can't breathe

[LonelyGirl24]

Wish I knew what to type but my problems are such that I wouldn't even know where to start. Maybe I just complain too much. All I know is that I'm exhausted, I wouldn't even bother trying to sleep though. I don't particularly want to talk to anyone, my phone has been off for a while. I genuinely don't care about doing work but I still push myself a little. I don't even want to eat. Everything in my house is a potential tool for cutting myself but I'm trying not to. I am a failure on so many levels and I seem to hurt the people around me even though I try so hard not to. I wish I was better at understanding emotions. I don't even know what I feel. I'm not even living my own life, everyone else is for me. I know I need help but from where I know I should talk to my friends but they can't help, it would just weigh them down and make the thoughts even more prominent. I'm not suicidal, but I don't particularly want to live. I wish I could even afford a psychiatrist but I barely even have a roof over my head. I'm sorry I just wrote whatever came to my head, I'm tired.

[EleanorRose]

First of all, you have done really well to reach out on here. It's not an easy thing to do when you're feeling how you are. You are having a difficult time at the moment but that doesn't make you a failure. Reading this, you sound to be like a very kind and considerate person - worrying about other people's feelings and perhaps putting them ahead of your own?Sometimes it is hard to talk to friends and family and they don't always understand, it's true but, it can help to reach out and know we have people who care, even if they don't quite know what to say (or say the wrong thing sometimes!)

I am concerned that you are looking after yourself. You might not be able to do everything right now but celebrate your small victories - getting out of bed, making yourself something to eat etc. There have been times where I haven't wanted to eat, I get it, you haven't got to have a lot but can you have something small? Not eating, in the long run, won't make you feel better. Same with sleep.

Where are you? Depending on where you are you may be able to get mental health support/treatment for free through your doctor.

[Broken1971]

I feel like this. I have so many feelings/ issues I don't know what to work on first. It IS exhausting. I don't want to die but I feel like I'm failing at life.I'm working on this. I've found some great mindfulness techniques that at least help ground me for the moment (cold water on the face, paced breathing....) I also have slowly been working on reconnecting with old friends. Even though they might not understand what I'm going through...it's good to just talk. It kind of makes me feel like I am participating in life again...even in the smallest way...if that makes sense.

I've found a lot of great support on this board. A lot of great people who DO understand. Hang in there...and take care of yourself. You are worth it!

[JkBauer]

Good afternoon,

Honey, You are doing a great job by reaching out for help. Excellent first step! Do you have a nearby community church where you can talk to a pastor? Does your local town/ community have a support group that you can get involved in? (Your local county health care) should have a list and advice of where you can go for a good support group. -There is also this great FOTF number 18553825433 - they have great counselors who can help you get started in the right direction and help you find what will best work for you. Excellent helpline, I have used them in the past. They gave me great directions! I am praying for you!