I just want to die

[Llama00]

I'm all alone again, the only person I had to talk to was my therapist who doesn't work at the facility anymore. I was trying to get my life on track I went weekly and was working on getting a skills coach. I was trying so hard and wanting to think more positive but no matter what nothing that I enjoy ever stays in my life. Now I'm right back at the beginning.

[Freesoul66]

Sorry to hear... I can feel your pain... are you on any types of meds?Chat if you want. Xo

[Llama00 in reply to Freesoul66]

Yea I take some but they don't help. I really just wanted to use them to give up.

[Windsorgardener5087]

👋 So sorry you are struggling with the loss of your therapist. If they were an employee of the facility, there should be a handover note attached to your record. Although you might have to start a new working relationship, you could still stay on the same path to achieve your goals. Remember, that it is you who is the expert here, having a lived experience of mental health. The therapist is your assistant to be the best you can be. 🦘

[Llama00 in reply to Windsorgardener5087]

I don't think I'm the expert and I don't want to start over. I still had rough days but at least I had one person I could talk to and who understood but now I feel like I'm right back where I started.

[PapaDocs]

I am sorry for this terrible thing that is going in your life. But whatever you do, avoid thinking about harming yourself. It does not help and it adds more problems over what you are feeling now. Would you consider going to a nearby church and ask for help? I did that and got an unbelievable amount of help. There are many churches who are open to helping strangers even if you do not go to that church. Sometimes they have professionals, even counselors, who volunteer their time. Of course they will not act like counselors but they can listen to your story, your pain and give some “friendly” advice, not a professional advice. Think about it, it might make a positive difference in your life.

[Llama00 in reply to PapaDocs]

I haven't called down much but I'm going to try and get a new therapist tomorrow. I hate starting over especially after I was so comfortable before but if I don't try it I'll probably end up giving up

[PapaDocs in reply to Llama00]

I hope that you don’t give up. Life is hard but giving up actually makes it harder. And I hope that you don’t feel I am pushing you. I just want to encourage you, my friend. I have met a number of people who were surrendered and some who wanted to end their life, but with proper help and consistent work, are now enjoying better lives. I wish the same for you.

[mae19681995]

Dear Llama00, I have to agree with Windsorgardener5087. I know it is hard to start over with a new therapist since you had such a great one, but maybe there is one there that you can connect with even better. Don't give up on the healing process. I know that you don't want to start over, but you have seemed to be on the path to healing and just want to be sure you continue. Maybe the next therapist will be even better. Please, please do not give up!

[Llama00 in reply to mae19681995]

I'm trying a new therapist tomorrow but I feel no matter what things will never go well in my life, anytime I feel 1 thing is going ok it always end.

[Kainan in reply to Llama00]

I am sorry that happened to you. Often this is the way things are. Nothing is forever. And I know it's hard to come to terms with it. But it seems like you were doing so well, and there is every opportunity to continue on that track with a new therapist, who might have a fresh perspective if you will. Not one therapist has all the answers for you. I had went through many therapists, and they all brought something different in my recovery. And I hope you can find that too. 👍

[Llama00 in reply to Kainan]

I go to a new therapist tomorrow but after this it just makes me not want to be as open or get attached at all.

[Kainan in reply to Llama00]

How did the appointment go? That is a good mind set to have, not getting too attached to a therapist. Often times we might mistake them for a friend thinking that they should be there for us, and that is where the dependence can become an issue. I'm not saying that about you, but that kind of thing can happen. In my experience, a therapist can help you best when you know what is helpful for you. I hope that appointment went well 👍

[Llama00 in reply to Kainan]

It didn't go well and i just don't have any hope left for myself