I will never be able to get out of the situation I've allowed myself to be manipulated into with my parents and the ptsd, depression and severe anxiety makes it impossible for me to do anything. My therapist and caseworker are doing nothing to help me and there are no resources for help in my are.
I've been hitting myself all morning and crying because I hate myself so much I can't stand one more minute of this night mare and hell
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We have been through some shit, but I strongly believe we weren’t meant to just fizzle out. There’s a reason we’ve got dealt this hand. I wish you the best, and I’m here for you ❤️
Don’t give up!! Continue with your therapy and be honest with them and yourself!
How are you doing today? Don’t give up! Talk with your therapist and caseworker and let them know they’re not helping and ask what can be done differently. There is always hope no matter how small. We’re here for you!
Hugs 🌸🌸🌸🌸
Dee
Thank you! It's been another very bad day and no sleep for days... I see them every week and last week I cried and told them I feel hopeless because they are not giving me advice. They said sometimes in time things just work themselves out... I haven't gotten and real help and I just don't understand. I am very open and talk a lot to them about my circumstances and the way I feel. They know I frequently have to call crisis between my visits. I have no money and no way could I work right now even though I wish I could desperately!!! I dont have any water or electricity in my house and things are just so difficult. There are no resources to help me but if I was a drug addict or a criminal getting out of jail, I could have all kinds of help and it just seems so unfair😔
Stuck, when you call the crisis line do you tell them you have no electricity or water? That’s a huge problem!! I call the crisis line too. It’s sad when they know me but it saves a lot of explaining.
Does your case worker know that you have no water or electricity? Can you call the companies and ask how you can get assistance to help with your utilities? Whatever you do, tell your therapist and caseworker everything!! Sending you hugs and hoping things get better. 😘😘😘🌸🌸😁
Yes, I've told the crisis line and my therapist and caseworker about the electricity and water but because I don't have dependent children and I'm not a senior, or a recovering convict or drug addict, and the fact that I have no job means that I don't qualify for help of any kind here where I live.
Fortunately I do get foodstamps and can walk to the grocery store but I'm very limited as to what I can buy because I can't prepare or store most food
I see a glimpse of anger, that is what you need to grab and run with. In the past, it has only been when that total sense of injustice and rage gave me massive strength and drive to make changes. You can shout louder, you can make people sit up and take notice. Get a hold of this strong emotion and use it for positive change. X
So sorry you are hurting. That is quite a combination of issues, but they are not impossible to deal with. If you feel the therapist and caseworker are not meeting your needs, ask to speak to a supervisor if they have one and ask about the possibility of changing to another therapist/caseworker. I get that hitting yourself helps the emotional pain feel real, but it is a temporary relief. I hope you can find the strength to request the help you need. You deserve it, but you have to find it within you to seek it out. Prayers for peace and strength.
Hiya sorry to hear how you are feeling do you still feel like this x
Hello, it's been some time since I have been on here. Things did get much worse for me and I didn't have Internet or phone but I did ask for a different caseworker, found a place to stay temporarily in a house that was empty and for sale, where I could be warm prepare food. That alone after living for 9 months with no water or electricity made me feel better. I became very suicidal though before things started to get better. The place I am staying is on a river and I can go outside everyday and get sun and be in nature and that has helped more than anything. After a year of my son not letting me see my little grandson, I get to keep him a couple days a week and that helps too. I have been able to come off all my Medicine except I did switch the Adderall to Progivil and take that just a couple times a week to help keep me focused along with vitamins and other supplements that I've learned about. I have changed my diet and basically changed my life. Still a work in progress though. I haven't been able to find a job so my caseworker referred me to vocational rehabilitation and they are going to send me to school. 7 months ago I would not have dreamed that I would feel the way I do today and be able to go out without a huge amount of anxiety and go to school. I have cut my toxic parents out of my life completely also which was very difficult but the day I made the decision and blocked their number, I felt immense immediate relief as if a weight had been lifted off me not to be cursed abused and manipulated daily for their every need while they cared nothing about my problems or the state I was in mostly because of the trauma I experienced growing up and as an adult with a narcissist mother and very violent abusive father. I always felt responsible for my mom because she couldn't take care of herself but at 55 years old and me taking care of her, she still wouldn't ever appreciate anything, say thank you or stand up for me with my father. I realize now where all my problems came from and have worked through so much. I used to spend every day crying and now rarely get sad and for the first time in many years feel like there is hope. Thank you for taking the time to check on me! Much love to you and I hope you are doing well!!
If they are not helping you, you need to find a counselor who will. Talk to the people here, we are here for eachother
I just want to die
I just want to die. But I can't 
How to combat feeling like you’re going to die?
I want to live
I am bad and I want to die 
