I just want to die

[Wishingforpeace]

I just went through another gut wrenching breakup only to find out that my ex has already replaced me. There may have even been some overlap between me and her and I am completely crushed. He was supposed to be one of the good ones and now all I can think is about how everything he told me and promised me was a lie. I’m happy that I’m not with him anymore but feel completely worthless for being so replaceable. I can’t get out of bed and just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

[EleanorRose]

Let me start by saying you are not worthless. Your worth is not defined by others nor does your worth depend on your experience in relationships.

If he was seeing you and someone else at the same time, that is a terrible reflection on him as a person. I bet he isn’t laying in bed worrying about what an awful person he is. Yet if anyone should be worrying about their character it is him, not you!

There will be so many people in your life, currently and in the future, who love and care for you, who won’t for a second consider you irreplaceable. This person didn’t deserve you if this is the way he has treated you.

It’s really tough and it is so easy to assume things are our fault, to blame ourselves and to feel bad about ourselves, but this has not happened because of you.

Treat yourself with the love and care you deserve. If it’s hard to get out of bed at the moment, perhaps set yourself one small goal of something good you could do for yourself each day - even as simple as having a bath or getting your favourite food.

Things are tough at the moment but you can, and will, get through this.

Take care,

Eleanor

[20Voices in reply to EleanorRose]

So true.

[20Voices]

You are not worthless, I went through this. My soulmate and best friend decided after my break down not to go see a counselor with me or get any kind of help. "It won't work" he said after calling me nuts and telling me only I could fix my problems, but that I was also to blame for his problems.

Anyway the solution was a 3 months break to allow us to figure out or marriage. Then I found out he was moving straight in with another woman. Although he had loads of offers of places to stay, he has decided to blank my sister's offer of free use of her fully furnished house and all the offers from friends that would be closer to his work.

So I called him out on it. "So you are moving on to a 2 bedroom house with another woman who has just split from her husband, who has a teenage son AND this place is the furthest away from you work." "Yes" he replied. "You think that will help resolve our problems". he shrugged and told me she needed his help more than I did. My response to that is get out now and I want a divorce. Over the next 2 days until he left he complained and how long it was going g to take to get to his work and about having to move all his stuff out.

So I am going to say this to you, anyone who just moves out on one person who loves them and in with another person, has no idea what live is. They are going to continue to make the same mistakes and have the same issues because they are not dealing with what is clearly an.issue they have.

It hurts really hurts to be left alone that, but you are a stronger and better person than he is. Take time to grieve for the loss of that relationship, but there were good bits to it. Then you go work on yourself and build yourself back up. You can do it, I know because I did. Even better 4 years on people are amazed that I talk about good events I went to with him. They thought I wouldn't want to mention anything I did that involved him. "Oh, no" I say "he's not getting to pinch the good memories of the good times that have made me the person that I am, absolutely now way".

So you go ahead and live and be proud and be happy you deserve that.

Xx

[Wishingforpeace in reply to 20Voices]

What kills me is that there seems to be no shortage of women to replace the last one. I just don’t understand how people can be so cold and hurtful. He told me he didn’t want kids but now he’s seeing someone with THREE! I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he was just going through he motions. I made all the effort and put so much of myself into this relationship that now I’m left feeling empty and dead inside.

[Wishingforpeace in reply to Wishingforpeace]

Not to mention she was married and JUST had her third child with her husband not even 2 years ago.

[Hidden]

All I can suggest is be kind to yourself, learn from experience. Give yourself some time before you put out that fishing line once more.

Sometimes we need respite from something like you describe. Being caught on a bounce can be as bad as hitting your head on the ceiling and going through the sorry situation again and again. You are not worthless, You are following a well worn pathway that many of us follow. Life has plans for all of us, it is just you have not had the plan explained to you yet. There is someone out there waiting for you. To that person you will be worth a million so how worthless is that. In a way you are at the beginning of an adventure

Do not do yourself down, your ex Partner has done that to himself and His future

BOB

[Wishingforpeace in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the kind words but I’m just not feeling any of that right now. All my exes are married now and this one seems very happy with his new love. I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me that I can’t seem to make any relationship work. His entire family has deleted from social media now and his new girlfriend has even gone as far as to block me like I’m some psycho jealous ex. I feel like I’m nothing and want to crawl into a hole and die.

[Hidden in reply to Wishingforpeace]

You are still very raw because or the deception and relationship break up, it will take time for you to pull your self around again. It is important you do not form a serious relationship to soon, Generally this may be a blessing so all you can do is bite your tongue, like your wounds and eventually move on.

When I was in my twenties I went through relationships like a dose of salts, and I felt the same way as you most probably, I was eventually lucky and I found my Wife from up country, it was later discovered some of my Family knew the Parents and had not found out about that until married. The strangest thing was I had talked to my Wife in a Hotel reception several years before, again that came out much later.

We never know what is going to happen in the future, try not to do yourself down because of failed relationships, imagine what would have happened if you married anyone of them, you may have had a hiding for nothing,

BOB

[Purple_haze51]

Thats how i was feeling when i keep catching my husband texting other woman saying my love to to them and never saying that to me who you are supposed to say it to . and hes a alcoholic so he would go out and drink all night and not come until the next day and i was stuck home with our new born baby he was never there for me or never took me out to eat and have a few drinks i just stayed home. Feeling not loved or cared for and our child also he would never take him out to spend time with him and do things what a father and son should do. Now he got worser with his drinking hanging out with girls and drinking at his work i was always wondering were he go so early in the morning he was picking up the girls and taking them some were or would be buying them something i found pics too on his phone the girl was naked and i saw his shoes and his finger on the the pic he was taking it i confroned him and he denyed it was him he said it was a guy friend who sent to him why would his friend be sending him pics of his naked girlfriend. To him so i know thats a lie . i was so hurt and got very depressed i tried to lay down and go to sleep with my xanax pills i didnt ever wanna wake up again cause i was hurting so much . but my kids saw me not waking up and called the amublance they came and got me thank god i didnt take to much pills or i would of died. I went to a mental hospital and got on medicine i felt so much better after . i realised i would of left our childern behind with no mom and a drunk dad who didnt care about them only his beer. So i said i will never try to kill my self over a guy ever again its not worh it my kids our my life. So PLEASE DONT try to HARM YOURSELFf he is not worth it he did not care about you. Why would he care if your were gone. I realized i didnt need a man that my life and my kids are worth more one man. Please know your worth more then him. And please get some help If you ever need to talk im here .

[Hidden]

"Wishing for peace" is a lovely name. I am sure it describes you. When we have a sudden shock such as a bereavement, or a break up , catching up on sleep, and trying to block out the misery is normal. It is no good crying over spilt milk. You can't go back and the only way is forward. Taking care of yourself is so important. You may need to keep well because you have a job. This is stressful when you know you have to go to work, and feel your body is reeling from the emotional pain. If you have sleep disturbances so you just cannot get to sleep, it may help to try sleeping pills. They certainly helped my mental health during a very stressful time when my parent was dying, and my husband was ill. I am sure you have the inner strength to take one day at a time. Getting over all the frustration of being cheated on takes time but as you realise how he has lied and broken your confidence, then you know he is not worth it.

Keep eating, and nurture yourself, enjoying changing your appearance if you want to change your image. Just going to a hair dresser or having a facial can help relax you.

Take care and find happy films to watch and avoid anything which is negative such as horror or grim murder dramas. Enjoy comfort foods such as chocolate which contain substances which can help calm your mind. Sure in few months time you will get your confidence back and will make friends who will not have strings attached .

[Elliott_Woods]

Well f*** him! You deserve the best of the best! 💜 I'm SO sorry you are going through this. Truly. Know your worth 💙 you will get through this trying time and end up with someone who treats you the way you should be treated. Thing's will brighten up for ya, this is a bump in the road.

Much love to you! Keep strong 💪

[at123]

I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain. Please know that you are not alone, and that your life is so incredibly valuable.

I have not personally been through your situation, but I understand how hurtful it can be when it feels like we are being rejected. Would you allow me to pray for you?

Father God,

I thank you for wishingforpeace and her life. I pray that she comes to know You and how much You love her. You love her so much that You sent Your only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for her sins and my sins - for everyone's sins - so that those who believe in Christ are forgiven of all their sins and have eternal life with You.

If wishingforpeace does not yet know you, I pray that you will open her heart and mind to You and Your wonderful saving love. May You give her peace in her heart, Your peace which surpasses all understanding. And no matter what happens, may You remind her that You love her more than she can fathom and are with her always.

I thank you for giving me the opportunity to pray with wishingforpeace. It's in the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Wishingforpeace, I am so glad you reached out. Matthew 9:18-26 has impacted my life. It's about Jesus healing a woman who has been bleeding for 12 years. When I read it, it really resonated with me. You may feel like you've had one trauma after another, and you can't stop the sadness or the hurt. I know I did. But when I read this, God gave me such peace. I hope it encourages you as much as it did for me.

God bless, friend. Praying for you.