Everyday I feel like dying. I try to ignore the thoughts but they never go away. I've had depression many years, and just had a lifetime of sadness and pain. I'm not able to cope with 1 thing before something else happens. I've really isolated myself since covid19 and stopped talking to almost everyone I knew. I just don't see any hope at all anymore. I studied the most painless methods but won't say it here. I tried therapy any pills but nothing seems to work.
I'm so despondent about everything. Everything I try goes totally wrong. There's no escape from this hole here. I feel drained. So far, I still haven't found a real purpose in life. Sometimes, I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. There's nothing to get up for.
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WyattMann
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Please talk to your doctor. My daughter isolated herself also during the pandemic and become anorexic and actively suicidal, and I cannot promise you that the doctor will do anything that helps, but, he or she might!In the case of our situation, after I refused to let her simply run away, she attacked me and ended up in a mental hospital for 3 months. Now she wants to live, but she didn't reach that place under her own steam.
ALSO think of one thing, small or big that you like. If it is getting a pizza and you can't face going out on your own, order one in, every week, same day.
Today is awful for you, well done for voicing this.
I dont have a doctor. I had a psychiatrist who gives me pills but they don't listen to your problems. Our total conversation was like 5mins. And now he stopped taking insurance and went private so I had to try and find a new one. And the new one wants to take me off my pills.
Sorry about your daughter, hope she's doing better now
Now my daughter is happy to be alive and looking to have a better future. Do the pills help? Does the new psychiatrist a better listener than the last one?
My daughter wasn't listened to, she wasn't even put on pills,she wasn't believed. She was loved but didn't believe it. She felt like a failure because she could not end her life despite her best efforts. However she got though with help from being admitted to psych ward. Admittedly that was difficult to achieve.
She had us. You have a platform here to offload on, keep talking keep writing. Fixate on the last positive thing that happened to you. It might be a Christmas gift or card. If you live in the UK contact the Samaritans, but hold on.
When you think of a positive memory, I'd love to hear it. Tonight my husband was providing me with loads of edible treats while we watched the Grand Prix. I give thanks for the care he gives me even though we are separated.
They never truly listen. Doctors already think they know the solution and just do whatever they want. I really view this as pseudo science. Each doctor thinks they know the magical formula to make you better but each has their own opinion and none of it works. It's really frustrating.
When I decide to end my life I already have a 100% perfect plan that I researched a lot. (Not a gunshot). I'm trying to remember Christmas or any positive moment. I know my family ignored me and I was supposed to meet them. So I spent my Christmas alone, along with my bday and new years and every holiday.
My last good memory was with my ex gf before the covid19. After that, I haven't had one good memory that I can remember. And I lost faith in the government and in so many people. Things just got way darker for me. Even though I used to cut years before and stopped that. But I literally spend hours at night debating the pros and cons of dying and staying alive. It's hard to think of reasons to stay alive but I think of so many reasons to want to die. It just really seems like the better solution.
You’re not alone!!! I’m feeling much the same way. It’s rough. Don’t know what else to say. Try to hold on.
If you’re really thinking about making a suicide attempt please call 988 or check into a psychiatric ward. Is there any way you can try to get some therapy??? I can understand why you feel so down, I’ve been there and I’ve made two serious suicide attempts in the past where I overdosed on pills. You do not want to go out this way. Please try to find some way to get a therapist you can talk to. Also on YouTube there’s a channel by Kati Morton who is a therapist where she addresses topics that I have found to be helpful. Stay strong.
There's resources out there. Not sure where you live or what county your in but there's people out there, groups you can talk too. 800/273-8255. It's national.
Do you feel comfortable saying how old you are, and telling a little bit more about the bad things you have gone through? Covid has been and is still hard for everyone, but for people with depression and anxiety the isolation and aloneness is much much worse. Try to hold on and write more. People here are very kind and you are very welcome. If you feel you are in immediate danger please go to the closest ER of the largest hospital in your area and request help and/or inpatient care. This can help you get over the immediate hump and buy some time to work on the underlying issues. xx
I tried the ER thing last year when I was feeling really bad but they didn't do much at all. You just wait 7 hours to talk to a psychiatrist who gives you some random pills that do nothing. Then my new psychiatrist changed the pills. Then my newest one wants to change it again.
I'm around 30 and went thru a lot of things like a parent dying, lots of friends and family dying. Being attacked and having to go to the hospital. Being in shootouts. My good friend just died last month. Just a lot of violence and trauma basically. My family betrayed me and stole from me. My best friend died and I paid for this funeral and headstone to help his family and they stole from me after.
Hi there, I have been through some of the same issues, and not surprised of the way you are feeling. If you can get up and walk away from your area i do think you may feel there is hope out there. people can be toxic and if you cant even trust your friends or family you would be better getting away. you obviously got alot to offer, as you seem kind and caring, dont let others bring you down. There is alot going on in the world right now so it does not help anyone with depression at all. A friend of mine packs a bag and tent and goes climbing up a hillside where nobody goes and stays there for 3 days, he loves being alone to just be with nature and his own thoughts. my heart goes out to you and please your life is precious and you can find happiness elsewhere, dont let anyone bring you down.🙌🥰
I'm going through many of the same symptoms. I'm 62 and I've been battling this disease for decades. I've tried everything. Ketamine and TMS. But my Depression is incurable. I meditate and pray and that helps. I go to support groups online. LiveWell and NAMI. We are not alone. The only way to survive is to fight back against the depressive thoughts. If you are interested find a Spiritual Path that interests you.
It gets tiring trying to fight it every single day. Sometimes I wonder what's the point. We all die someday. Do I want to keep being miserable for more years and then die. Or just die now.
I also have those thoughts. I'm 62. It's a tough way to live. My mind tells me to give up. I have to meditate everyday. I can reach a place we're I am not in pain. I recommend the app called Waking Up. Also the book The Power of Now is good. He talks about the pain of the Negative Mind. But in the present moment the Negative Mind doesn't exist.
Don’t let the intrusive thoughts win. Talking helps. Even if it’s posting about your situation it helps. I know the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed and having no purpose in life. But I promise you, you have a purpose. I know it seems hard to believe that when you feel everything is going wrong. You just have to have hope. Tomorrow is a new day. Leave the past in the past. Stay strong. You can do hard things! I will keep you in my prayers 💕
You know, nicotine patches may help. There is plenty of strong evidence that they relieve depression. Google it. I noticed that effect years ago. It’s certainty worth a try.
Or try the Emsam skin patch - that is a strong anti-depressant but requires some very minor dietary changes. Good luck!
Your details wouldn't bore me. I'd like to know what you faced if you want to share. You said "just because you feel you are on your own doesn't mean you are." But I literally am. I talk to nobody anymore, and barely go outside for days or weeks. I cut off almost everyone i knew, so I truly am on my own in a way. I have no true people that I can share my feelings with except online. But when I close my phone I'm still on my own. (Not to sound whiney). It just sucks being so isolated when it used to be the opposite.
I never heard of a psychotherapist. I have a certified therapist but idk their exact credentials, I'd have to look it up. But thanks for your reply 🙏
Literally nobody needs me. If I died right now it would be days before anyone even checked on me and knew I died. Maybe weeks. But thanks for the kind words. I'm trying not to give up. It's just so tiring to fight the desire to die. And my most caring and loving friend died last month. So it makes me really question the point of living. When nobody in the whole world loves you anymore, it's really hard to keep going.
I'm just giving my honest feelings sorry. Not trying to be negative or anything, just honest. And I'm not here because people want me here, I'm here because i haven't totally given up yet. But I do have a suic*de device that I created, so I know at any moment I can end it all painlessly. It gives me comfort in a way.
We can be friends, I added you too. And thanks for rooting for me, I'm rooting for you too! 🫡
Have you tried this? I've seen videos for helping reduce tinnitus
I've had multiple therapists too and I really think they're just in it for the money but they make their patients think they actually care about you. It really sucks.
I've head migraines too and it really sucks. Luckily I'm able to go to sleep or take ibuprofen but sometimes those barely work.
I would suggest to find a new therapist. I have one that does online therapy and she's really awesome. If you're still looking for a nice caring one then I could recommend her to you?
I don't think your therapist was trying to escape you, I just think she's a loser. Nobody should abandon their clients like that. There are definitely way better ones out there. But im sorry you felt a bond to her and that it makes you so sad.
But just take a second and see that you were strong enough to keep going without her. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.... don't give up! And thansk for sharing your experiences.
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I want to die. Like now. 
I just want to be done! 
I want to die
I really want to die
I want to die
