Baby Steps

[mdowning81]

Just a little encouragement for anyone that may be struggling to believe that their is no way that they can ever recover, you can and you will! It may take time and the progression may be slower than you want but it can be done! Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself, don't fall victim to the lie that if you don't recover everything all at once that you have failed. For along time I listened to this lie, and pushed it me deeper into depression and froze me with fear. My mind told me that I would never be able to function in the world and I was reserved to the idea that I just would never be able to work again or leave my house again. I was preparing to live in my van when the inevitable time came that I would lose my home. I am happy to say that I am scheduled to return to work next Tuesday and am actually looking forward to it!! This did not happen over night, it was a long a process that included lots of many small uncomfortable steps that have added up to this point. One of the most important things I did to get here was writing down small daily goals that I forced myself to do and then crossing them off. Then when my thoughts would inevitably tell me that I was a failing loser that couldn't achieve anything I could look at the list and tell my mind to shut up because I had proof of things I had done. Being very kind and gentle with myself my goals slowly grew and grew to the point I am today. I am not saying that I don't still deal with anxiety or have depressed moods but I have hope and confidence that they won't last forever and I can overcome them. If anyone is interested in talking more about this I'd be happy to.

[DSBK2]

First congrats in the new job! I feel like you first described. I have thought to do many things including the list. I always get caught of in bad self talk. I'm going to do the list and not just think about. 😁. Thanks and best wishes to you.

[mdowning81 in reply to DSBK2]

Just remember that the list does not have to contain huge monumental tasks to start with. When I started mine I was in a really bad place and couldn't convince myself that it was even worth getting out of bed. So my first list consisted of get out of bed, clip my fingernails and listen to music for 20 minutes. That is something I forgot to mention that is really important, don't make your lists just a bunch of tasks or chores that you feel you "have" to do, include hobbies that once brought you enjoyment, for me just listening to music was something I once loved but stopped doing so I started there. Eventually my list grew and I actually took my daughter to the mall this past weekend and have started some new hobbies that I never thought I would do, such as yoga!!

[DSBK2 in reply to mdowning81]

👍 very good point. I'll make my list small because I get overwhelmed easy.

[Queen_royal]

While you were out of work what did you do to keep yourself together I’m going through some things and being unemployed is not only hurting my pockets but my mental a lot it’s nothing to do and all I can do is think. Tv doesn’t help, music doesn’t help, and I’ve stopped talking to ppl on the phone I feel like I’m a burden to them even though they say I’m not and that they are here for me I just keep thinking they have a life why should they have to listen to me. How did you at least manage?

[mdowning81 in reply to Queen_royal]

I totally relate with the over thinking and isolating. First thing I had to do was force myself to make a small list of goals of things I wanted to achieve daily at first the tasks didn't give me much reprive but as my goals grew and my tasks became more complex my mind would naturally stop worrying or thinking. Another tactic I used was a common theory used in cognitive behavior therapy called thought challenging or replacing. The practice has you rethink your thoughts that might be overly negative and asking if the thought is actually true and replacing it with a thought that is more accurate. For me I wrote these thoughts in a journal and overtime I was eventually able to do it my mind in real time. It definitely took time though. Just remember to patient and kind with yourself and don't give up, change=time+persistence