Changing

Well, I found out my dad and his girlfriend that I really like are going to have a baby!! I'm excited for them. I love babies, I told them that when I either turn 16 and get a truck or after my school year is finished I'll change schools to where they live. I told them I'll move in with them and help as much as I can. They said that they don't mind at all. Me and my dad are close and I know he's seen some kind of sign I have a some kind of problem and he finally caught on. I told him I need to go to a therapist. He said if that's what I need then that's fine. I always thought he would judge me or something. I only have goals for next year. 1.Talking to dad or the therapist. 2. Slow down on my bad mouth. 3.Get in shape instead of being a couch potato. Hopefully I'll reach those goals next year... (Sorry for kinda ranting..)

[Janieliza]

You aren't ranting honey and I'm so thrilled to read your post. Listen...its not always a bad thing to have a fresh mouth(potty mouth as I often refer to it) as long as you aren't disrespecting and you use the 'fresh' in a constructive way. You stick to those goals lovely. Do....because you won't only be proud of yourself as it's an achievement and trust me...goals are easy to make yet not easy to follow. I wish you the very best as you go into 2018. Work hard but don't forget to be you. Take care. J

[Hidden in reply to Janieliza]

Thank you, I'll try my best to achieve my goals. You take care too.

[Janieliza in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou honey. Good luck and keep your chin up. J

[Agora1]

Midnightwolf, you are very mature for your age and your dad can be quite proud of you. What wonderful goals you have set for 2018. I wish you the best. Happy New Year! xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, Happy New Years to you too

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

What about your mother? Can you talk to her? How will she feel if you move to your dads? I am a mother. It would kill me to know my child was hurting and I wasn’t doing everything I possibly could to help them. It’s important to talk to your parents. Don’t wait until next year. Try to think about your mom as well. I got divorced because my husband was very emotionally abusive and he fed my child so many horrible yet untrue things about me that my son wanted to move in with him. I eventually let him and he was miserable. He is now living back with me. When he moved that is when I ended up in inpatient therapy for 2 weeks. It hurt me so bad. The baby will be so exciting. It will also need the majority of your dad’s attention and will not be a baby forever. Sometimes the other parent seems more lenient than the one you live with also because you are only there on weekends or holidays so they can be. The one who you live with has to have rules and make you do schoolwork etc. Not because we are mean but because we are parents and that’s how Job. To teach and guide you into becoming the best adult you can be. Obviously I don’t know your situation but just wanted to share a mom’s perspective.

I hope you discuss your problems with your parents sooner rather than later. There are also counselors at schools who can be a very valuable resource. I’m glad you are excited about your goals though. Reach out to the ones you love. Let them help you.

[Hidden in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Me and my mom are not really on good terms. We never have been. As soon as my nana (Her mom) got a place in my school district, She told me I was staying with her. Then when I went back to her house on Friday she got mad at me and asked me if I was going to my dads. Me and her argue constantly and she try's to tell me thing about my father that I chose not to believe. She pretty much kicked me out her house. I couldn't talk to her even if I wanted. She never lets me or my little brother speck our opinion and she always judges us. She is kinda worse then my ex stepmother and she treated me like crap. Plus, she's never really much cared for me but that's, that. I understand where you are coming from and I do thank you for sharing that point of view. I try to reach out to my dad but I always back out of it. I'm slowly reaching out to him, baby steps. But I do thank you again for sharing that point.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Hidden]

How about your nana? Can you talk to her? I’m sorry about your mom. That must be hard. There are counselors at school you can talk to as well. Your dad said it’s okay if you need therapy. He’s open to talking about it. What about your little brother? Would you be leaving him?

When I need to talk to someone I often write letters. It gives me time to really think about what I want to say and how I want to word it without the heat of the moment. Also you can get it all out and give them time to process before responding. It also helps with confrontation as I am not very comfortable with it. Unless I plain snap. Then, it’s on! Lol My son believed his dad too. He didn’t believe me and when I would try to tell him that wasn’t true and tell him the truth he would always accuse me of just trying to put down his dad. He moved there and found out I wasn’t the liar. I hope that’s not the case. It sounds like your dad is much more supportive. I’m glad you have your nana who could keep you. If you ever need motherly advice I’m here. Reach out to someone though. Adults can’t deal well. You shouldn’t try to face this alone.

[Hidden in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

yea, it kinda of sucks. And unfortunately I would be leaving my brother but I would be able to see him whenever he comes over to dads or even nanas. I don't really talk to my nana about stuff cause she has some kind of depression thing. She locks her self up and blames herself or something like that. I didn't even know that till my cousin told me. Dad has always been supportive of me. He was the one who encourage me to continue write. I'm writing a horror story and he really likes it. When I need to get something out but can't talk about with someone, I usually walk one of my dogs and starting ranting to them. But Thank you, If I need advice from a mothers point of view I'll talk to you or something. I really appreciate it.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Hidden]

I’m here. As old as I am my dogs are my best friends. They know things that no one else does. However my mind is fully developed. Yours isn’t. That’s not to say you aren’t intelligent. Far from it. It certainly sounds as if you are! Your brain is still growing and developing. It’s important to train it to see happiness now. It sounds like you don’t have as much of a support system as you would benefit from. As a mom that breaks my heart. As someone who suffers as well. Many times the people who do suffer, such as your nana or people on here, are the most empathetic and understanding. Because we know! We get it. I don’t know but maybe she could have some valuable wisdom she could offer. She must care if she’s offer to allow you to live with her. You can also talk to someone who is removed and can help you. Like your school counselor. I don’t know where you live but they are good in the US. I’m from Virginia. My son actually had a wonderful relationship with his school counselor. I did with mine as well. I wish you well. Your dad reads your horror. How about letting him read your inner story. Obviously you get it honestly. It is in your family. That’s not to say it is their fault. They are sick as well. I wish that could help you with your mom. However I know too many moms that just aren’t very maternal. I’m so sorry she is sick. At least you understand what’s happening. You are making goals to change it. The goal of being active is very important. Are there clubs at school that would interest you that you could join with other kids having similar interests? There are so many different clubs. You could also talk to your English teacher about writing clubs, drama etc. As a start I know you are writing a horror. How about going outside and writing in the fresh air? I don’t know what’s around you but you could even possibly sit at an Internet cafe or library. Just a change of scenery can be so helpful. After your horror, maybe you can write a success story. 😃