2 Steps Forward, 10 Steps Back

[levymaria]

Every time I think I might be overcoming my anxiety, something happens to remind me that it is still very alive. I'm trying so hard to not let it flood back in, but it's starting to feel like deja vu... I just want to be free of this forever. I thought that having a baby would make me whole, now I suffer from anxiety and depression and taking medicine every single day. I feel like my life has changed so drastically. My body is always on edge and my mind is as well. I honestly don't understand how I've made it this far considering the condition I was in after giving birth to my daughter. I'm ready to be free of this anxiety and to start living my life again.

[Hidden]

We're all with you. Keep going!

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry for your suffering I am in the same boat, I recently purchased a book from the Harvard Medical School/Coping with Anxiety & Stress Disorders. It has a lot of info. you may not be on the right med's or need more than one, currently I am on 6, I am improving but it is slow. I hope you have a therapist, and if you can find a support group. It is a lousy illness but there is relief so long as you stay on your med's. I am with you and send love and peace. Sprinkle

[Agora1 in reply to Sprinkle1]

Great book Sprinkle1, I am on their mailing list and receive updates from them on the latest going on in research with Anxiety & Stress Disorders. Good Luck in going forward, slow is the way. You will reach your goal when you are ready. x

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

How much was the book? I’m super interested in finding new ways to cope. I have a therapist and currently take two different medications for my anxiety.

[Sprinkle1 in reply to levymaria]

Hello again, hope you are having a decent day. I had a good one yesterday, this morning the anxiety is doing a number on me. I have taken my am med's and waiting for them to do their work. The book I paid $20, it is well worth it, hope your budget can go for that the phone # is 877-649-9457 online : health.harvard.edu. Hope these are of help to you. Keep seeing your therapist and if you can find one a support group is of big help. I am on three anxiety med's and my antidepressant is supposed to help with the anxiety.

I saw my pharmacist yesterday when I picked up a prescription he is a very caring man, he said I have a way to go, I can go and talk to him any time. I do not have a therapist do not really need one, but I have found a support group and will start on Mon. 6th. I need social support. Keep being good to yourself and remember we are here for you. Sending love & Peace. Sprinkle 1.

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you so much, when I have the money I'll definitely look into this book. That's my next step is to find a support group. What medication are you taking? (If you don't mind me asking)

[payton0625]

I feel the same! It’s like you have good days and then BAM it’s like “yes.... I’m still here” it’s not about overcoming anxiety..... it’s a part of us (unfortunately) but we can learn from it and maybe just maybe each time will get a little easier

[levymaria in reply to payton0625]

Yes! I do feel that it gets slightly easier each time. I try not to think too much about it because I tend to overthink things but I’m just so tired of feeling its presence.

[payton0625 in reply to levymaria]

I’m the same. The thoughts we have are so weird! Yes it’s tiring boy oh boy!

[Sprinkle1 in reply to payton0625]

Hello Payton, I find it to be a cruel infliction, it does not mess with my thoughts so much as it leave a knot in my gut, and the fear can be awful. I am having days that are not so bad, and look forward to days when they are GONE. When I picked up my last set of anxiety med's (I am on 3) the pharmacist told me I have a way to go. He is such a nice man and very helpful and supportive. I will be seeing my Dr. on 30th so I will get her opinion. Hopefully my Psych. Dr. will be back soon (she was ill and in the hospital), and I will be glad to see her. We can only do our best on any given day, and not be hard on ourselves. Be kind and loving to ourselves. And do at least one nice thing for ourselves each day - we deserve it. Lets try to be our own support system, along with anyone on this site who will pitch in. Sending you love and success along with peace. Sprinkle 1

[payton0625 in reply to Sprinkle1]

I find that mornings are the worst! I wake up and feel a knot in my stomach and a tight neck! My anxiety automatically triggers my head in to all negative thoughts and it spirals from there 😡 there are good mornings and bad mornings.... I’m hoping for more good than bad! I know control our feelings and thoughts..... but how can we retrain our brains in to having all good thoughts not weird distorted thoughts??? Yesterday I listened to an amazing app called “guided mind” I recommend it for everyone! They have a whole section on anxiety, it’s meditation in a way! I always feel better after I listen to one!!!!

[Sprinkle1 in reply to payton0625]

Hello Payton thank you for responding, I also have a hard time on waking up, the knot in the gut, and the fear comes flooding in. Like you say there are good mornings and lousy ones. I do not think we ourselves can retrain our brain, I think we have to rely on the medicine to do its job, and that is also why we have to stay on it. But we can help ourselves as you did with the app guided mind. And help each other out here by sharing methods that work for us. More power to you. I am with you and love you.. Sending more love and peace. Sprinkle 1

p.s. I did not know about the morning thing and it really upset me, I am glad you shared you are inflicted that way, Hopefully it will help other sufferers. Love Sprinkle 1

[payton0625 in reply to Sprinkle1]

You are more than welcome, I truly hope I can help someone in someway!

[Rox92 in reply to payton0625]

I'm going through this at the moment. I wake up with that gut feeling of sadness then my anxiety triggers and I can not control it. I'm on day 22 of meds and just been prescribed beta blockers to help with the anxiety but it doesn't stop me from feeling hopeless and sad. I've tried self help books and meditation but how can I concentrate and focus when my mind is going crazy?! Xx

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I have been thinking, you are probably suffering from post part-um depression, that will do a number on you, it can last for months, it happened to me after birth of my son. You probably need an antidepressant. For now (I am much older) I am on Pristiq 150 mg. Busbar,

Lithium (I am Bi-polar 11) mood stabilizer Gabapentin & Seroquel, with Lorazepam as a back up.. The Pristiq is an antidepressant and anxiety med. the rest are for anxiety. Hope this is of help for you.

Hang in there sister, I know it is very difficult, we are here for you, I send as always love & peace Sprinkle 1.

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

Yes I had my baby on December 15, 2016 and it’s about to be one year since I’ve been dealing with my depression and anxiety. I currently take Zoloft and Vistaril. I’m trying to stay optimistic but I just begin to get depressed when I realize that it’s almost been a year and nothing has changed.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello today, do you see a Dr. have you tried therapy, and a support group. I am excited, with the help of a friend we found a support group close by and I am going for the 1st time tomorrow Nov 6th. I have had depression on and off for decades, this attack of anxiety has been very bad for me, I do not think about it, I push it away. I do my best to keep busy. When I am paralyzed I do the adult coloring books, they calm me. I am sure you child keeps you busy. Do you have any family members to support you? We are here for you. We love you, and send peace and happiness Sprinkle 1..

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

Yes, I see a psychiatrist and I currently have therapy with my therapist once a week. I haven't gone to any support groups yet, I feel like my therapist and I bond very well. Yes, my child keeps me somewhat busy but I also try to keep myself busy just by being online or socializing with old classmates. My family.... is very complicated, they tend to cause more stress and anxiety than help. They don't understand my mental health, I think the reason why they don't get it is because it isn't a physical injury that you can see. It's all mental with physical symptoms, so since they can't see it they don't really think of it as a huge problem. Where were you able to find adult coloring books?

[Sprinkle1]

Sounds like you are making positive moves, I am proud of you. Yes I have coloring books, quite a few actually, 2 of my friends in Calif. sent me some really neat ones. As far as your family is concerned, I find that to be typical of most people, when I broke my ankle (sky diving) i got lots of support, but when I get in a bad depression people do not understand. One person said to me "You look OK". yes but they have no idea what is going on in our heads!!! Ask your therapist is she/he would consider a group setting, where the therapist could explain the dynamics of your illness. Sorry I did not answer your question, I found the books at Walmart and even $ store. Keep on putting one step in front of the other, we will get there, it is not easy and it takes time. I went to the Support Group yesterday - my lst time, it was lovely and I am ready to go back again. They also offer therapy there at a reasonable price, so I think I'll try my hand at that, see if they can help with my anxiety which is so painful. Keep being good to yourself, and tune out any negative remarks. I send love and encouragement along with peace. Sprinkle 1.

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

I’m currently at the ER, I’ve been feeling extremely sick the last couple of hours and I don’t know if it’s my anxiety

[Sprinkle1 in reply to levymaria]

Hello, I imagine if your anxiety is intense it probably can make you feel sick, are you on any medication for anxiety? I take 3 without side effects, and they are holding my anxiety on a med/low level. Talk to your Psychiatrist about this hopefully he will have answers for you. I wish you to feel well Soon. get all the help you can at ER if you are still there. Sorry I am not of much help. Talk to us there are others here who may be able to help. I send you love and feelings of strength to beat the monster, peace to. Sprinkle 1

[levymaria in reply to Sprinkle1]

I take Vistaril and Zoloft

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry to take so long with a reply, my anxiety has been putting me in hell, I have been paralyzed, yesterday I slept for hours, got up after 4 pm. I felt like a baby, lonely and hopeless, feel the same way today, it is hell. I see you are on meds, I do not know Vistaril, I have been on Zoloft it worked well for me for 10 years until I built up a tolerance. I go on line and look up all my meds, the uses, side effects, dose rate - try google they are very good. Talk to your Dr. or Psychiatrist they SHOULD help you. And again see about a support group. I wish you well, sending you Love, Support and Peace. Sprinkle 1