Give a Little take a whole lot

[Bellea-b]

Hey everyone, not for sure what I am hoping to get out of this. Maybe... just someone to talk to. Hear my rants. Not for sure. I don’t really have anyone to talk to. So I guess talking is better then not.

But here goes. I’m a hair dresser. I’m 28 married with two beautiful children. And I’m adopted.

The last couple years I have lost my niece, my brother, my grandpa all back to back and Not expected. Lost my granny last week due to illness

Now at the age of 28 the word is loss. And that I’m not dealing with very well.

I know this anxiety needs to go away. But finding ways to deal with it would be awesome besides medication. Which my body keeps rejecting. Or maybe just someone to talk to... I’m emotional, physically, mentally exhausted from dealing with everyone else.

[Jen456]

I’m sorry for all of your loss. I’m glad you are now looking to see what you can do to focus on yourself. Have you tried developing a yoga/workout routine? I know it’s easy to do yoga online or from tv, but there is something so special about yoga at a studio with a group and an instructor. I know you have two kids and work, but i think it’s worth it to set about an hour or two for that at least three times a week. It’s more for spiritual healing than physical, but it goes hand- in -hand. Thoughts are with you

Best,

J

[Bellea-b in reply to Jen456]

I’ve done that, I use to be really active. But with lack of help it makes it kind of hard to get out and do anything . But I do surely miss doing it

[horizonwatch]

Hi Bellea-b, You have just gone through very, very traumatizing events, to have the deaths of 4 close family members take place, plus all in a short time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your niece, brother and your grandparents. First of all, don't put any pressure on yourself to try to cheer any of your family members up or make it all better. I'm sure there are family members who are reeling and might be going off the deep end - just know that you can't control anything that anyone of them does. I'm so glad you are reaching out on this message board. Also reach out and band together with any family members or friend that are supportive. Reach out to grief counselors for help. Don't go through this alone, help is out there. Be as gentle and loving to yourself as possible and give yourself as much time as you need. Spend time with people who will listen and be there with you. Lots of love to you.

[Bellea-b in reply to horizonwatch]

I’ve attempted, I guess I just need to get passed the voice in my head telling me no one cares. Because I know that isn’t right.

I guess taking care of myself is a new one. Being a hairdresser, I tend to forget that.

I think I read your reply three times. Because I couldn’t believe some one listen.

You have some awesome ideas. I might take them to the drawing board

[horizonwatch in reply to Bellea-b]

I know the feeling of thinking that no one cares, because that was programmed into my head growing up as a kid in a messed up family. But from reading self help books/audiobooks, online self help like Youtube videos and getting some therapy, I've learned it is NOT true at all. There ARE people who care. They are out there. Give your time and attention to the people who make you feel good about yourself - give your time to the people who lift you up, not the ones who tear you down and make you feel bad. This is one of the keys to life and I only wish I had learned that at 28! Another one of the keys is to know that you DESERVE to be loved (took me a long time to get that into my head). Keep reaching out and connecting with people and reach out to grief support groups, etc. You'll keep seeing that people DO care. And the ones that don't, don't matter! I'm so glad to help at least a little.

[fauxartist]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, it has to be devastating....and the grieving process for one loss is overwhelming at times....but for a succession of loss, I had a similar situation and it made me very depressed and feeling helpless with grief....I would strongly recommend finding some grief and loss counselling....it's a daunting and sad time to try and just do day to day stuff and having this sadness over shadowing you trying to live your life...it's often harder to cope with this stuff the longer you try and set these losses aside to keep moving. But at some point it kind of builds up....it did for me.....and I had a melt down. So .... I got help too late to avoid a lot of additional collateral damage emotionally.....you may want to start setting the time aside for your self to do what you need to do for you to cope with this much loss.