Asking for Some Encouragement

Had two bad dreams in a row last night about my Army service (32+ years). It did not end well when I retired. Earlier this week my VA doctor screened me and said that I qualify under the criteria for PTSD. I ended up not going to work today, and am concerned that eventually my boss is going to get fed up and cut me loose. I don't know how I could hold down any job at this rate.

I'm doing paralegal studies because that's what I'm drawn to, but cringe at the thought of another toxic boss like some I had in the Army. I made it to LTC but the price was my health, both mental and physical.

I could use some encouragement from those that are thriving at the moment in order to get me back on the horse. Thanks.

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I did the Gratitude America retreat plus the two-week Emory Veterans' Program. I have a network, just wanted to reach out for some additional encouragement. I hope to pay it forward someday soon.

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Thank you. I started as a Private First Class, finished as a Lieutenant Colonel. If I could offer any advice in hindsight, it's to go active duty. Don't waste time with the National Guard or Army Reserve. Much of my anxiety comes from bad experiences with both. The active duty Army treated me far better and are far more professional. And if given the chance, I may have stayed enlisted and worked my way up through those ranks. Those who became NCOs (sergeants) seemed to have a much more cohesive brotherhood than the officer corps. And don't let anyone senior to you try to intimidate you from speaking up about wrongdoing. My last assignment was as an Inspector General, and so many people were either afraid to file a complaint or filed, then withdrew it out of fear of retaliation. I lost my position after a senior officer heard about me speaking up about a case of fraud. The experience put me in the post mental health clinic, and I just couldn't serve any longer after that. I currently have a draft email to the Army IG about that experience.

[FearIsALiar]

Everything’s gonna be okay. Life always has a way of working itself out. Perhaps you could let your boss know how you’re feeling and what’s going on?? Also look into disability leave for anxiety/depression? Just a thought.

Also thank you for your service. That is amazing.

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I hear you. PTSD is not a pleasant experience. I'm just in the beginning stages of filing for compensation, after 50 yrs of not being able to. Long convoluted story there. The symptoms of PTSD are many and varied. Not many understand what we went through and continue to go through, on (for myself and others) a daily/nightly basis.So you have people you trust to talk with. Is there a Vet Center near you? Often times The American Legion has vet reps either contracted or fellow vets for support. I've found that melatonin is a good sleep aide. Try checking out support groups and other vets to talk with. It does make a difference. You are not alone. Hang in there.

[amby80]

I have PTSD from a VERY bad car accident plus a sexual assault as a teenager. I still have nightmares and anxiety. It's tough, but hang in there! I would definitely seek out a therapist and any sort of support groups or even work programs available to you. If not through the VA, check NAMI, or Mental Health America advocacy network. Better Health is a site where you can find a therapist tailored to your needs. You could probably even find one who is a veteran, or at least culturally competent enough to provide quality care to veterans. Things will definitely get better with the right support and encouragement. Take good care of yourself, you can't pour from an empty cup. I wish you all the best!

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My gosh. (virtual hug). One thing that really gets me angry is stories about women being victimized by men. They give the rest of us God-fearing men such a bad name. We have a fake Army manual called "Wall-to Wall Counseling" that talks about punishment for actions like that. Men who commit vile acts like that require punishment using "dimension lumber" (i.e., a baseball bat or a 2 x 4). I wish to God that assault hadn't happened to you.

I do have a great therapist and lexapro to bring the anxiety down. They have both been divine miracles for me, in my opinion. Thanks very much for your kind words and encouragement.