Today is one of those days where I find myself feeling stuck and lonely.
I don’t have friends, and that’s honest.
There are people I know that I have tried to hang out with but when push comes to shove, they make up excuses to not hang out and then don’t ever text me. The past few times I’ve actually made plans , I drove and I paid because they said money was tight. And I’ve been in that place and have had people help me so I pay it forward. I’ll try to make plans , they’ll say their busy and then I see them with 3-4 other people out at dinner when just the other day they said money was tight. It makes me feel really unwanted and used.
The one person I talk to daily is my boyfriend. Our biggest roadblock right now is distance since he is based with the Army 1,700 miles from where I am.
We talk everyday and play video games together online and I am grateful we have the ability to do that.
It’s just days like today where all I want to do is be next to him and watch movies and cuddle that are the hardest. I know that this is just the way things are going to be for until he is done. I know he will come visit eventually and I am trying to plan to go out to see him sometime in the spring.
It’s hard to not to have anyone to talk to about it.
I understand I chose this and knew this is the way things are going to be and i love him and he loves me.
I just wish I had a friend I could talk to about it...