New here...online support groups for my teen?

[TryingMama]

I'm new here, mom of a 19 y-o with anxiety, depression, PTSD, an eating disorder, and an endocrine disorder she takes meds for. We are exhausted from five years of trying to help her help herself. I'm afraid she feels "fatally unique" as one of my friends in AA says, and I think support groups of people in recovery could REALLY open her eyes (to the fact that she's not alone, to the fact that her situation is not uncommon, and most importantly to the idea that she CAN get well...). We've done SO many therapists, programs, and meds...she doesn't need "beginner" groups...she needs people to speak plain truths and inspire her to feel some sort of power or ability. Mostly she leans into her illness and is too exhausted to try or hope or believe, but it starts to feel like an excuse to stay in victim mode and if we aren't constantly supporting/comforting/affirming/validating her, it's a fight....and nothing any of us have been able to say whether it's lovingly, directly, or sideways seems to be able to inspire her to DO something for her own wellness other than attend her therapy appointments....IF she can remember she has them. She does hold down a job, but barely. We are fairly tapped out financially with all the care, so any free online groups in the afternoons or evenings or on Mondays and Thursdays when she doesn't work would be great. THANK you in advance, all!

[TryingMama]

thank you so much. I will definitely let her know that this group is here and full of possible support, and that you offered to connect. Honestly, I'm concerned that she already has too many online connections and a few friends IRL that focus on the shared illness/suffering and too few that are focused on the healing. I have no idea what your level of wellness is, so you might be just the ticket...and I also know I can't in any way ensure that she's ready to do the work. But this is why I'm looking for support groups that are based in recovery...like AA format in a sense...but BEFORE she develops an addiction, which seems inevitable if she keeps suffering the way she does.

[msdraggy]

let me start by saying your doing your best so dont feel down. If she needs anything im always open to talk i love to chat and I understand you want irl support groups but if you need a last resort im open. Im an openly gay man that has PTSD, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, and recovering from an eating disorder. just remember the best thing you can do is keep your head up cause you are doing your best and support her.

[TryingMama in reply to msdraggy]

Thank you so much for the encouragement and the offer. I will tell her she has support here if she wants it! ?Sounds like you and she have a lot in common. I truly appreciate your response.

[Espejo1024]

First of all, I admire your courage and support to help your daughter. It's obvious that you love her and want to help. I have raised 3 grown children and now have 4 grandchildren and remain very involved in their lives. And I can tell you that ilife is not always easy nor is it fair. Do you have other children and what is her relationship with them or with her father? Does she have any close local friends that you think want the best for her? Do you have a church that has a good young adult group? I'd love to be able to offer my support and ideas here. God bless you for reaching out for help. ❤️

[TryingMama in reply to Espejo1024]

thank you for your offer of help. She has two much older sisters (fairly close with one), she has a very good relationship with her father, my husband, and she has a handful of close friends who I believe are all as tapped out as we are in terms of being able to meet her need for support and comfort without too much accountability/suggestion that she work at her own health. What I most came here for is info about support groups online, b/c after so much other effort that seems something that might have the biggest impact right now. May you also be blessed for your generosity and kindness!

[sunandbutterfly]

Hello! Thank you for advocating for your daughter. It seems that you have gone to great lengths to help her. Don't give up and know that you are not alone.

Are you able to get support for yourself as well?

In the treatment that she has received on the last 4 years, did any of her therapists have support groups? It may be beneficial to get in touch with past therapy programs and therapists to see what is available in your area.

I know that there are some good online forums that she can be a part of as well.

[TryingMama in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Thank you, yes, I have many varied streams of support (good friends, a very good therapist, my own yoga and wellness practices, a solid relationship with her father, etc.). That is what makes anything possible, really. It has taken time to understand how important that is! As for her past practitioners, some yes and some no re: support groups. Right now Covid has us open to groups all over, but in the coming months maybe in person groups can happen again and I'll definitely be looking. If you are aware of any good online groups (forums are one thing, but I think the in-real-time sessions are most beneficial to her right now), I'd be so grateful for a link.