New here.. Hoping to find some familiarity

[K4s2]

Hi. Been dealing with depression for my whole life.. I dont feel like anyone in my life understands what im going through and its so lonely. I struggle between wanting to get better and just giving up. Just when I think Im doing OK it becomes abundantly clear that im not. Missed too many days at work, so dont have a job. Everyone says they want to help, but then go about with their own life and forget. They dont realize having a few good days doesnt mean im ok. I dont remember the last time ive felt ok. Like, the deep down kind of OK. I want so bad to just snap my fingers and be better, like "they" all think is possible.. I just need someone to get it. Someone that knows how it feels, to feel too much and not feel at all..

[Hidden]

I understand. I feel the same, although I’m dealing more with anxiety at the moment. I’ve had bad bouts of depression as well. It’s very hard for those who have never experienced depression or anxiety to understand what it feels like. I think you’ll get a lot of support here. Sending you healing thoughts. 🙏🤗

[kenster1]

hi welcome aboard sure feel lots of users can relate to how your feeling.

[SeakingLight]

I totally get you. Depression is hard and it's even harder when everyone around you just looks at you like you're damaged and they don't have any clue how to help. I don't even know how to help myself most days.

[sophie4 in reply to SeakingLight]

I wish I had a magic wand for all of us!!!

[Whiskers16]

I completely get it, feel just the same. Actually I’d like yo have a good day, it’s been nearly 7 months since I’ve had anywhere near a good day. And no one around me understand.Sending you big hugs.

[sophie4 in reply to Whiskers16]

I understand completely. What are your days/night like? 7 months is a long time not to have a good day. I can relate. Haven't had a good day in 21 years.Maybe there's a good day about to happen for you just around the corner!!! I sure hope so!!

[jesca18]

I am someone who understands! I could have written this myself! I can relate soo much

[Kangaroo_Alice]

Can you get in touch with a counselor and explain how you’re feeling? I totally understand. My meds are seeming to stop work lately. I’m feeling teary and alone a lot more these days. Yes, so many people do not get it and do/say things that make it worse. But WE get it and you can come here for all kinds of support!

[K4s2]

Thank you all for the kind words! I did actually just get signed up with a mental health treatment center finally. Felt like Covid has just pushed everything back. I have an appt next Wed with a new therapist, hoping it goes well. She can also work with my meds which i feel is much needed.

[sophie4 in reply to K4s2]

I'm so glad you've found a new therapist!!! Hopefully, it will be a great match and you'll be on your way to having lots of good feelings and some fun in your life!!! You have my best wishes.

[sophie4]

Oh yes, I get it!!!! I've struggled with serious depression since childhood...now I'm 70 and am still struggling. Many, many, many traumatic life events sure haven't helped. I can't remember the last time I experienced feeling happy with the exception of being with my dogs. I have two now..always have had dogs & adore them all.There's no magic cure for clinical (not situational) depression. Don't you wish there was??!!

I understand exactly what you mean about people not understanding what depression is all about. Same for anxiety.

Over 20 years ago I dropped out...I have a sister...we share an apt. My sister is quite ill. I'm the only caregiver. About dropping out...some really horrible things happened and I became a real loner. Have no friends whatsoever. I have no family. I am 100% alone in the world with the exception of my dearest sister. This isn't a sob story...it's just how my life turned out. A total shock. Talk about PTSD!!! A huge traumatic event triggered my retreat from the world.

Most of the time I'm OK about being so alone. I'm never bored. I fight my depression and anxiety with my heart and soul, but nothing works.

I don't remember ever feeling really deep down OK!! I sincerely hope that your life improves and you find moments when the depression isn't gobbling you up!!!

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to sophie4]

I admire you for getting through everything you’ve been presented with, Sophie. You may feel that you have “dropped” out but here you are. Glad you have the sister you’re close to. And those dogs. Cats, dogs ,guinea pigs....are lifesavers. They love you and I hope they give you pleasure. You deserve some pleasure in your life! Thanks for being on here. You have life experience we can all learn from.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

First, welcome to the group! I share your frustration. How is it that people who think we can just “snap our fingers” don’t realize we’d do it in a second if we could? These are well-meaning people who just don’t get it.The difference with this site is that there are well-meaning people who do! Lots of them. So glad you found us....

[Tara52]

I understand. I have felt like that for many years. What I have come to see is that others who have not suffered with chronic depression ( not even doctors) do not understand. They can't, so don't get frustrated over that. We are not victims. You have to fight hard for your mental freedom. It takes hard work to change your mental processes. Have you tried CBT? There are many good workbooks online you can buy. This is a good time on lockdown to start working on it. Bad thoughts create bad feelings and low moods. You can get better. I did with changing my thoughts, prayer and most of all with God's loving help. I'll be praying for you.🙂💗Hugs!

[mauv]

I have been dealing with depression since age 12 and I am 75. I learned thru therapy the 3c’s. I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. This has helped me the most. Pills help, but for me they wore off. I am trying at home Trans Cranial Direct Current. Also there is a Fischer Wallace tx for depression. I enjoy my good days and accept my bad days. On my bad days even if I just get out of bed, I accept that. I take baby steps and give myself credit for what I do. I hope this helps you.

[JW621]

No one can help but ourselves. I’m here DM me

[Cookie2217]

Oh believe me I know how you feel I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder since 2006 and have been in my last battle depression for the last 4 years. My husband is beside himself because he has no idea how to help me and try his best to be a supportive as he can but I'm sure it's hard for him to watch me just lay there in bed in the Darkness and try to sleep night and day cuz I don't want to be awake. My sister Maureen is also not so understanding when it comes to my depression and feels that I just need to get over it sometimes but that doesn't help when she tells me that it makes me feel worse and like she's judging me because she is and I wish you just was able to understand a bit more that's debilitating and I don't do it on purpose it's just a mental health disorder and my response to depression is laying in bed all day in the darkness. My medication is no longer working and I need to be placed on something else to try to get myself back on track again. I pretty much lost my job as well to my depression and finally was able to find a new position and have also called out for a week straight because of a depressive episode and almost lost that one there's just some days I can't get out of bed I have no desire to do anything or see anyone. I wouldn't blame this disease on anyone because it is completely and utterly debilitating. I wish that there was some happy pill that I could take to make everything go away if it was only even for an hour to get some relief but that's not possible and very unrealistic and I need to realize that I have to force myself if nothing else to do something anything to get up in the morning and be grateful for a new day that God has given me to be with my husband and my beautiful Maine Coon cat Bella. It's almost like I'm so good at giving others advice and helping other people I just can't do that for myself and I get my own way all the time. I also struggle with self-esteem issues and self-loathing from childhood trauma which causes me problems as well because I don't think I'm worthy or good enough or deserve to be happy. I'm sure you can relate and get where I'm coming from all of us that suffer from this disease get it we wish so much that we could just get up and go but we just don't have the desire the strength or the ability to do so and I eventually just give him to it and put the covers over my head and stay in the darkness. There has to be a light at the end of this dim tunnel I just have to figure out how to dig myself out. I haven't always been like this I was a very friendly outgoing and bubbly person who enjoyed being around others constantly and I wish I could get back to that person sooner rather than later because that's how life should be you know what I mean.