How do I cope with self hate?

[Ocean_of_thoughts]

Hey friends,do u also experience awful episodes of self hate sometimes? How do u get urself our of there and not try to punish urself when it happens?

Thanks!!!

[kenster1]

giving yourself praise for achieving things even little things the more we praise ourselves the more we will start liking ourselves.

[Ocean_of_thoughts in reply to kenster1]

Ya,I think that should help.even if it's hard.thanks

[EllaAlexandra]

Yes! Sending you love!!

[LDAutie]

Hi Ocean_of_thoughts.

I have been severely bullied in the not to distant past and groomed by the same person online with devastating consequences to me-i lost my home and my pets.

I think this person projected their own self hatred and jealousy onto me.

So I get very bad self hatred thoughts running through my head every day and one of the things i do to break the chain at that moment is to visualise a big stop sign, imagining the shape,the red colour,the word stop written on it,the feel of it, I find it helps until the next hateful thought comes along,which can be seconds,minutes or hours later.

I hope you find something that works for you,some people find deep breathing and meditation helps, I’ve tried a binaural beats app on my iPad to help with it and it’s hit or miss for me,best wishes.

[Ocean_of_thoughts in reply to LDAutie]

Definitely I too think doing something,whatever that helps and stopping it right as it approaches is the best way.I know .though it's easier said than done.thanks for the tip.I will try it.hope u r overcoming the traumatic experiences u had.sending love

[FriendlyDude]

It seems like when I feel a form of self-hate, it usually has a reason. Perhaps there’s a reason when you have those episodes. Finding it and deciding how to handle it could be very beneficial. Similar to the burning stove analogy, how you don’t have to deal with a burn if you don’t touch the hot stove, recognizing what triggers your episodes of self-hate and dealing with them beforehand or early on can solve the issue of self-hate before it happens. Self-hate can be tied to your emotions too. When I feel awful, I’m more likely to feel self-hate, but when I’m feeling great, I don’t have a reason to hate myself. Do your best to take care of your needs and engage in healthy behaviors that make you happy.

I hope this helps

[Ocean_of_thoughts in reply to FriendlyDude]

Ya,u r right.I too believe that my self hate is also tied to a reason.it is true that I too try to find even more reasons to hate myself when I'm sad or depressed. I tend to hate myself really bad when I feel like I wronged someone,even on so little things that they might not even recognise.thanks a lot .

[Ocean_of_thoughts]

Omg thanks everyone, thanks for making time to reach out

[Ocean_of_thoughts]

Thanks a lot .I would try

[Kangaroo_Alice]

Yep, self-hate is a part of my life too, although not as much as it used to be. I looked up some blogs on stopping comparison to others, as that was the main cause for self-hate. They taught me how to give myself a break. How to avoid keeping an eye on everyone else’s progress, whether at work or personally. The only measuring stick we need to look at is our own. We can be proud of even the little things we accomplish and see what other things we can do to improve ourselves. In our time, not anyone else’s. And you can take lots of comfort inside your own mind that you are trying and nobody else’s progress is of concern. I’m not sure if that’s your reason for turning on yourself, but if so, try what I suggested.

[Ocean_of_thoughts in reply to Kangaroo_Alice]

Thank u for this. I should have ti think about it.

[Hidden]

I realized that punishment doesn't help me feel better. And I want to be happy so I try to take care of myself now. I was taught wrong and that is sad but I'm moving on to somewhere else in my mind and body that is better. It was scary but it's getting better and easier to feel my inner authority. I kinda found a path somehow through trial and error of new ways. But the main thing is to be kind to yourself and to have compassion and help not hurt. I'm sorry you had to learn this bad habit of punishment thinking. I relate more than you know. It's like people want to correct us by being abusive. That was not ok. I'm totally having deja vu right now. So anyway, hang in there and work on being nice. It's weird at first but gets addictive and delicious to feel. Good luck! I feel like I found a better way. I try to be radical and accepting of flaws because there is gold in there. And grateful for as many things as possible. Even if it's just one thing it helps me to feel better to reward instead of punish. Avoid the bad thought I say. Don't feed it with your precious attention. I know it's easier said than done. But with work, you can get better at it. You can be happy. A therapist told me that once and it was like planting a seed for me. It did take time but was totally worth it. You can message me if you want to hear more. Take care.

[Ocean_of_thoughts in reply to Hidden]

Hi,thank u so much for this.I do agree with u .I'm sorry that u share this feelings too.I will and am currently trying to take one step at a time and do the things u and others said.and I am happy to say that it is working.I will keep thinking positively .thanks again and best wishes on ur journey!