how do people cope living together

i guess ive lived alone too long like 16 years 😂😂😂finding it touch back living with my mam i even found it tough when i lived with a botfriend i left him and bought my own house i liked it when we lived seperate i guess i dont like been controlled and living in someone eles house there rules etc and lack of quiet space and the mess cleaning up all the time and i cant cpuldnt do what i want with my cats my x boyfriend wouldnt let me have my cat then tigger in bed but at my flat he was ok with him in the bed the rules changed 😂 never again will i live with anyone if ive a choice would you and what are your experiences 🐯😂i just like living with my cat even tho he takes charge of the tv remote 😺😂

[kenster1]

relationships are hard when you finally move in it`s like you give half yourself away to the other person that`s the limit it`s 50/50 all the way and no person should ever feel controlled man or woman.my Mrs does my head in and has done since near the beginning but likewise I probably do the same in different ways.we all need our own space and time and that does sometime make me feel like I want to be single but throughout it all I`m glad I`ve got her.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

hi yes its bettee to have someone than not, i cope living with mam as we argue but end up having a laugh most the time so a humour helps but things are different more now as i think she is heading for dementia and of course personality changes take place, i lived with a guy who was my best friend but on living together he turned into a mysogynist it was his house and he made that clear of course i saved up bought my own house we split up good ridderns he threw my cat at the wall as was jealous of tigger he bought me him all phoney pretense stuff pretending to love cats and me 😠👹he was a devil

[Celtic27]

hI there twinklystar I wouldn't right your self off yet your just set in your ways and don't like anyone coming into your space that's common ! There's nothing to stop you having a relationship but stay on your own if the person can't accept a few parameters then don't let the door hit hit on the way out God bless you and stay strong 🙏

[Hidden in reply to Celtic27]

thanks so much thing is i love my cat invading my space even pulling covers off me on a morning at early hours to get up feed him i do and dony mind at all 😂😺but flipping peiple i dont like been controlled by ☹️

[Hidden in reply to Celtic27]

thats why i married my cat 😺😂

oh no i want divorce he never put seat down 🙄😂

[Hidden]

Good for you, I’ll call you Miss Independent!!! I’m 52 and I was in a serious relationship for a long time, never had children. I kind of messed it up and we had some serious problems. Now I’ve been back living with my parents for awhile, and me and him, well, we’ve been through a lot and we are still friends. He lives quite a distance away from me , we still talk on the phone. I’m considering trying to eventually be together again, but I don’t know. We’d have to share a one bedroom apartment and that’s not a lot of space. I’ve thought about dating other people, but I still care a lot about him. Yes, it’s complicated. I just don’t know at this point. That’s terrible that who you were with was so mean to your cat. Good thing you ditched him, kept your cat.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi yes its difficult for you but if yu love each other it will find its way i thought i loved people but i realised in time they wernt lovable or suitable fate is fate trust in that and yo instincts 🤗😺🌟

[Dee-Dee00]

😄 I know this is a serious question. But I can’t help but lol. Wow ! It’s a challenge to adjust and cope living with others. But I’m a 🤪 I’ve lived with a roommate most my mid 20’s (I Was in college) through age 30. Then I moved back home (mom passed)for approx 1 year and could not handle the “rules” which were in retrospect (lol) NOT BAD! I then finalllllyyyyyyy got my own “flat/studio” and hated that too! 🤪 I got so so depressed the first 2 years I lived alone. I think because prior I was just so used to being around ppl! 🤷🏻‍♀️ I finally adjusted and lived alone for 4 more years. Then, I moved back home again for 6 months again I moved out but moved in with a roommate. The roommates were NOTTTT BAD AT ALL!! She was motherly and helped me out of my Major Depression. She had her own flower shop business set up on her property. I stilll just could not adjust to living with them. I moved out 1 year later back home (my dad (91) health declining) .. 🎢 . My dad passed April 2019, and I moved in with my now husband into his moms house in Feb 2020 . Uggghhhh I’m 3 years in and FINALLY. Just feeling 💛. Lol I guess it just takes time and patience from yourself and the other person!?🤷🏻‍♀️ I still blow up on him every once in a while but for the most part I’ve adapted.

[Hidden in reply to Dee-Dee00]

hi sorry your parents are gone but thats great you got a happy ending, i used to like living alone in my house until i had rats for a year coming from.a nebours broken drain, i moved to my mums house and it was covid lockdown too i was glad to be there at first as i was very depressed and i felt safe there but things became strained during covid i moved home in issolation as id met a friend, i started drinking tge boxes of wine i stocked up on lol and ended up back at mam house i went home again to my house for a year, as i was been treat a bit like a naughty child lol keep the kitchen clean 😂 when i moved out it was a mess proofing it wasnt me making the mess, well i enjoyed been back at mine at first but it never felt like home and i felt lonely and my drinking got bad again, after sleeping at mam house new yrs eve i couldnt settle at mine, i cant afford to live alone and if i were to get my own house again id take on a lodger but at the moment they probably be a liability lol using too much fuel 🙄 well im hoping it will work out here at mam house as shes 83 and i dont want to leave her on her own we do manage to laugh at ourselfes so its a bit like been married ups n downs, i watch tv with my cat in a different room to mam as she talks too much 😂and i cant here the tv🤪i hope you will continue been content in your living arrangements, who knows maby ill meet my soul mate one day 🙄🤪🤗😺

[Dee-Dee00]

sounds like it will be ok at your mums. I hope you guys can keep each other some company. I too hope you meet your 👩‍❤️‍👨

[Arymretep]

Hi M, as you know I’ve been married since 1972, so most of my life really, I can’t say it’s always been easy what marriage is, but we seem to have got through all the ups and downs , I think it’s all about give and take , tolerance and understanding, and just being there for each other, especially during the bad times, I come from a family of long marriages , my Mum and Dad 50, my brother coming up 60 years , nieces and nephews 30/40 years , so maybe it’s in the genes 👍

[Hidden in reply to Arymretep]

hi M yes genetic perhaps lot of divorced in my family, i guess if your both normal that helps and kind all the men ive met were nutters 😂and my parents were divorced, ill be releaved when my house sale finalises hopefully thursday completion day will be done by then no delays, ill probably stay at mams not much choice with the cost of living i dont spend much on food im not really a meat eater i think ill stock up again on pixies tin meat tho i cant risk there been a shortage i coukdnt find his brand in asda and they stopped his other brand in morrisons ages ago you see he cant eat it with cereal in and most put it in🙄he had a bit of beef and chicken today and his tin meat 😺its been raining most the day sun came out late on forcast nice thursday fri sat, ive got few things left to clear out my house then ill hoover up and wash the front window and pvc , sweep leaves up, enjoy your sunday night im just laid out with pixie got a xmas film on lol 🤗🐯🌄

[Arymretep in reply to Hidden]

Hope all goes well with the completion date 🤞 👍heavy showers here today after I’d put out a line of washing of course, have a good night you and Pixie😘

[Hidden]

I find living together is all to do with compromising and being flexible and being open and honest about things.

You have Prince Pixie as company!

We are fine here and compromised on having Sunday lunch at home today and then go out next week!

Baby is great and is enjoying her haggis in her dish

[MaggieSylvie]

It's never easy. I think having your own space is important and being able to communicate clearly. Cats are the best beings to share life with.

[RMHiker]

I know what you mean! My mom came to live with me to take care of me as I went through cancer treatment. Part way through I developed anxiety and depression. I'm done with all my treatments now and just startingo feel the depression lift some. I'm forever grateful for her help, I couldn't have made it without her. But at the same time I get irritable because I need my space and quiet!

[Hidden in reply to RMHiker]

hi if you can make your bedroom into a space with a tv and chair, i do get to watch tv on my own on night as we have 2 sitting rooms, i wish you well with your health i am starting swimming again that helped my mood and gave me a place to go away from it all i felt better soon as i walked in there each time 🤗🌟

[RMHiker in reply to Hidden]

Yes, my bedroom has become my sanctuary! I also have an exercise room with a NordicTrack treadmill that I use almost every night. Good luck with your swimming. Exercise is so helpful for anxiety and depression

[DodgeDhanda]

HI TS.

To me , how to live together better is time apart.

If he likes the footy then encourage him to go & that gives U both time apart , which is very healthy . U can go out with ur mates , when he ( if U had one ) was at the footy.

U could join a gym , to get a bit of free time to urself , there are many things U can do.

Now not being ageist, do U have a local W.I. ?

Do U read ? Go for walks

Now I've been single 10 years now & at first I was worried about connecting to people , now I don't care if I see no one as I'm very comfortable with my own company & I absolutely loved lockdown. I have my kindle & my relaxing colouring app & I'm super happy.

I can do what I wish , when I wish & how I wish . My daughters are living their own lives & I live mine & I found that after my ex wife left , the few relationships I had were not right foe me as the woman wanted me to put them before my daughters & as I raised them they were never gonna be second to anyone. Now I do believe I'm happier in life than I've ever been & that's due to accepting me for me & learning all the time hoe to manage my anxiety & depression & I'm happy that I'm in a better place but I'm aware of setbacks & accept they happen. Always be true to U & remember a present could be wrapped in exquisite paper but there could still be dog dirt inside it , so look beyond the outside.

I wish U love & light on ur journey.

[Hidden in reply to DodgeDhanda]

thanks its my mum i live with i will be starting my swimming again soon 3 times a week and i enjoy park walks on sunny days 🤗🌟🌄

[DodgeDhanda in reply to Hidden]

If ur mom is mobile & is happy to do it send her bingo once or twice a week , sort of same time as U go swimming that way she makes new friends & she will be happier than a pig in shhhhh

[Hidden in reply to DodgeDhanda]

thanks but we used to go together we only go now when theres offers on its far too expensive, shes on a family day out tomorror weather permitting im staying home still moving stuff out of my house my house sale completion day is set for thursday its not set in stonr that im to stay at mam house ill see what happens with the war just wish we hadnt got rid of the arade shelter 🙄😁

[CLB1125]

I’ve lived with the same man for 40 years! Some days I would like to throw him out the window but I don’t! It’s all about the role each plays and compromises. Most everything that happens is discussed and agreed upon. But some people just can’t handle that, and that’s ok too. Not everyone is meant to cohabitate. Do what works for you.