The silence

During my days or weeks of isolation, disappearance, detachment and non-responsive nature that I tend to fall into please don’t forget that I care about you guys, I know I should do better, try harder to be more present especially since I always get so much support on here, but we all have our ways of dealing with things and I find it extremely hard at times to explain how I’m feeling and since I can’t put it into words I disappear. I really want to reach out and I desperately need the support... I wished I could explain better

[Sillysausage234]

Good to see you check in was wondering how you was 😊

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

🌻 didn’t mean to disappear for so long, always nice hearing from you 🙂

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

It’s good to take a step back sometimes I find ,...hope you’re in a good place ,I was really saddened to see hope 4321 left ....such a shame when that happens...I hope she’s ok ,🎄

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

She left?!! I didn’t know that did she say why maybe she’s taking some time off

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

She’s gone hidden...my pm has been broken for months last time I heard from her she was struggling with the isolation...as you know she really had to shield from covid ...with her health problems...hopefully she will appear again ,not sure how it works if you just leave the community can you come back ?? Get your old posts back ?? .

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Yeah I’ve seen it happen, a member deactivated their page and they contacted the site it was back on with their posts and everything

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

If she doesn’t do that she can make a new one and get her same name back so we’ll know it’s her, I really do wish that she’ll come back

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Hopefully maybe just having a blip

[Starrlight]

I thought of you today. It’s ok. I think you explain yourself very well in that it IS so hard to put some things into words... actually impossible truthfully...I think there just are not words for the way our feelings make us, with they’re intensity and obscure so we evade. ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

🌻🌻🥰 Star my darling you just explained that perfectly, everything is too much all the time and how can we reach out if we can’t put the pain into words how will people understand and help

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yes too much all the time. It seems never ending like I picture a circle In the deep ocean and it goes around and around on and on... how do you picture ‘it’ (your reality)?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

I feel like I’m in a hole and every time I crawl out of it and see the light I’m being pushed back down, I’m on repeat I get better so much better than I’m back in the darkness

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

How are you right now? Just focus on the now. Look for the things you have control over and things that you don’t have control over let go of. Only thing is how do we let it go? Other thing is that sometimes it gets difficult to tell which we do or don’t have control over. What do you think?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

My therapist have increased our sessions which have helped since I felt somewhat like myself for a minute, not being in control makes my anxiety worse letting go is a hard task for me. I keep wondering will I ever get to a place where all of this is behind me, how about you how are you feeling sweetie

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

I think we will keep growing learning and healing and a lot of our suffering will go behind us. This morning some hurtful times and embarrassing times popped up in my mind. I took a deep breath and pushed it out and tried to let go, well it didn’t quite work but maybe that’s the processing it, working through stuff that comes up. Some other things are easier to let go of right away so we can just use energy on the ones that seem tangible. I think things will fall into place but it will not be perfect and that’s ok. I’m struggling trying not to take a benzo. Today I might end up taking it because I’m sooooo uncomfortable and on edge. I hope we both find moments of joy and peace today. Remember we are getting stronger as we heal and grow. And we will defeat much but there will always be things that pop up we just are getting better at handling them I think. Life. Ugh it gets tiring. I still believe there is a heaven in the end. I really wonder what it will be like. I picture us with love and family and friends and all sorts of good and beauty surrounding us or is a part of us more intensely than here and now on earth, you know? The greatest reward. What do you think?

[lilathefearlessone]

Hi Hidden . I have those days also but I always look forward to reading your posts. Keep going. One big love from 🇯🇲 . Joy cometh in the morning 🌈.❤️

[Hidden in reply to lilathefearlessone]

🌻❤️ thank you so much for these kind words, I’m trying my best. Sending you hugs and positive energy may you have a wonderful holiday

[HopeandFaith100]

Thank You, I feel the same way.

[Hidden in reply to HopeandFaith100]

Sending you much love hun, you’re not alone in this

[Hidden]

Don’t worry about explaining I think we all understand and support you! 😁

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

🌻❤️❤️ thank you so much

[melbrown]

Big hugs beautiful Sunflower 🌻 💛 You & your family are often in my thoughts. I understand how you feel... these past 9 months (?) have been so tough... & everyone is suffering... it's hard to reach out as result it's easier to be a ghost... I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself right... Much love to you Danielle... know I'm here for you. Give Spidey some 💗.

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

Melll 🥰❤️❤️❤️ This year have been the worse. It really is easier to be a ghost I self isolate really fast when things are going dark for me, give my baby Hans some treat for me, sending you love ,always

[Hidden]

You don't even need to explain more for me to understand your posts. These habits we fall into are really hard to break, it's a safety net for us. Focus on the things you need to, support will be here when you need it the most

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

🙂 thank you for understanding what I’m trying to say, yeah I tend to shut down and disappear when I’m going through something it’s hard for me to break out of that horrible habit I’m still trying my best to. Thank you again

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I can relate to this so much.. I dissapear and sometimes I hide from people who I need to hear from the most. I think your best will always be enough, especially if that's what it takes to make you feel better

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

❤️

[pam4him]

If you need some alone time, that's okay. I have been known to do that, and it's actually a form of self-care. Do what you can as you can. We'll still be here when you feel like coming back. Hang in there and keep taking care of yourself. Prayers for peace and strength.

[Hidden in reply to pam4him]

Some people take days when I disappear it’s for weeks and months the only bad thing is o disappear when things are wrong and when I’m not in the right state of mind instead of asking for help I leave

[LordKnowsImTrying]

Long time no see love! 😊

[Hidden in reply to LordKnowsImTrying]

🌻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ longgggg time hey love where have you been, I know I’m not on here like before

[florapeace]

I am the same exact way... I almost feel like it's wrong of me to present myself to others in such a broken state, so I always want to try to fix what's wrong before I reach out to others and make a fool of myself. Life is so overwhelming these days.

[Hidden]

It's nice sometimes to step back and think/ plan what you need to help you along your path. When one go missing for awhile the rest of us are still with you in spirit.

[LiveandLetLive42]

Danielle!!! Omg I feel the same way. I have been wanting to be more active on here. Everyone get's wrapped up in stuff though. It's okay. It's just really good to hear from you.

[Starrlight]

Hoping you are doing well!