Silence

[Msheatherlady]

Over the weekend I moved into my new apartment on my own and while part of me is excited the other part of me has been having lots of anxiety on and off between stress of taking care of everything, being alone, and just the silence: the latter is weird to say and i don’t know if anyone else can speak to this or talk about how to cope with it. It’s very quiet and quiet makes me uncomfortable unless I’m going to sleep because I feel the need to fill it whether it be by watching tv or something else, but I feel like it’s silly to be afraid of quiet or silence. Idk if it’s because it reminds me that’s I’m alone or what but it just makes me uncomfortable and idk what to do about it. Like I want to be able to sit in silence and not freak out but at the same time is it normal to not like silence? Has anyone else dealt with this or just me? Also tips for not feeling so weird living alone?

[Bluetj]

So sorry I won't be of much help. That's something new for me also. I had a male friend staying with me but I wanted/needed him to leave. He was very helpful but some times he was aggravating & made my symptoms worse. He did leave, thank God, & while I'm grateful, I miss his presence especially when I struggle thru the bad times. I want to get back to a place where I do nothing but trust God & my friend was not up for the task. When the silence gets to me, I turn on the tv just to have some sort of noise. Unfortunately, I have no tips for u to get thru it, but I will say ur not alone.

[Msheatherlady in reply to Bluetj]

I relate to this. I was living with my mom and while I needed to get away to be on my own I do miss having someone else around. I think it will just take time to get used to it. It’s nice to know I’m not alone

[Gaileeoh]

I understand you completely. I have been living alone since my divorce almost 3 years ago. I have never felt comfortable in the absolute silence in my apartment. It makes me very anxious and depressed. Idk why it is so hard to be alone with myself but I mostly hate it. I feel abandoned and as if my life means nothing, even though I know better. I have 3 grown children who love me, two who live with my ex in my old house right down the street. My ex and I are on good terms and I have lots of support from family and friends, yet I feel so alone. The silence is deafening.

Please know that you are in good company. I long for a day where being alone doesn’t make me so lonely.

[Msheatherlady in reply to Gaileeoh]

You get it. See that’s how I feel like being alone makes me feel like my life means nothing even though I know it does. I don’t have any kids but I have family that lives like 5 minutes away that love me and are happy to see me. Thank you for the reassurance. I know it will take some time to get used to but it’s nice to know I’m not alone

[kenster1]

would you invest your time in a dog as they are of great comfort and always keep us going.

[Msheatherlady in reply to kenster1]

I unfortunately don’t have the money to get a dog where I am, id like to get one at some point though

[hypercat54]

I understand about living alone and it can be quite hard at first. The upside is you can close your door and shut the world out when you want to. The downside of course is the silence and loneliness. There is never a perfect solution.

You only moved in a couple of days ago so of course you will feel unsettled for a while and this is only natural, anyone would. Give yourself time to get used to it.

I have lived alone most of my life and usually have the telly on if I need company, and there is nowt wrong in that.

[Msheatherlady in reply to hypercat54]

That’s what my therapist told me before I moved: she said it’ll take a few weeks to get used to but it’ll get better. I feel like I get down on myself because I feel like I should get through things quickly but I know that’s not always possible

[hypercat54]

Your therapist is right. We are not computers but human beings and as such we are imperfect and have feelings. Moving is very stressful for everyone so don't the mistake of thinking 'normal' people wouldn't be going through this too coz they would.

Who taught you that you have to be a perfectionist and strive for impossible ideals?