Silence Symphony

In silence I only find anxiety and depression, and that’s why I decided to join this community. I’ve always been skeptical about sharing my feelings online but I needed a change. I feel blessed by having love, health and a job to do well to others. I feel unblessed by my thoughts. I study over 15 years to finish a doctorate degree that I haven’t been able to practice. Anxiety has gotten in the way of taking my boards. Every day, in my dreams,or when there’s silence, I see the struggles of my pass, the sacrifices made for the dream of a better future and I feel trapped, left behind and hopeless. During the day I dreamed of the change I could make in other people’s lives and their healths if I was able to confront this paralysis and at night I relive the struggles of my past. I have better words for others than for myself. I hope I can finally find words and the strength to move forward without feeling that I am loosing my breath.

[2getbetter]

I to struggled with the thought of sharing my feelings period- but at least online, no one knows us and no one judges- we are here to give support and love in a non judgmental forum. As much as I didn’t want to share, I need to stop keeping everything bottled up and letting the weight on my shoulders continue to weigh on me. I hope this helps you.

[Hidden in reply to 2getbetter]

Thanks! This is a roller coaster. Sometimes we will feel great and enjoy the ride. Some days we might dizzy and we need to identify our red flags before we fall. Thanks for replying. Find a mantra that might help you. Find the words that lift you up. Sometimes through some deep breathing this help ease your brain.

[2getbetter in reply to Hidden]

I’ve forced myself to have a couple of more distant family members that I’m close to open up to them and let them in to my struggles and they keep in close contact so I don’t let myself just shit everyone out and they send me a lot of encouragement because they too have had struggles like me.

[GemBec]

Hi Lilly, I just joined this site a few days ago and i believe just knowing other people are like me helps. Most of my friends n family don't understand my anxiety and or my OCD. Knowing you are not alone is helpful to me. The silence of the world can be overwhelming to a person with anxiety. Night time is hard for me as well. I rethink things that i can not change, mistakes i have made and everything else thats enters my mind. I think you should try to do a journal before going to bed or any time you are feeling overwhelming thoughts. When my therapist suggested this I didn't think it would work for me. Writing down my thoughts actually did help clear my mind and then when they start to enter my mind again I could reread them verify that I understand my thoughts and then put them to the side. I don't know if this would work for you it's just a suggestion.

[Hidden in reply to GemBec]

Hi GemBec, Thank you for your suggestion. Writing used to be my escape and healing process. I will try to add this to my daily routine again.

[GemBec in reply to Hidden]

I hope this helps.