tired of living

[langedechu]

lately i feel like there's no purpose in life for me. like I get out of bed every day (which is hard), for what? no one really cares or understands. i just want someone like that but they're currently nonexistent. and my organization is out of wack, like my family has even noticed. been cutting pretty much every night and my mind is like stuck in this derealized state and i don't know how to escape it

[Hidden]

I am truly sorry that you are struggling so hard. It is not easy when we feel we have no one. I understand that cutting is very hard to stop. Please note that you are not alone and reaching out is a huge step. Just reaching shows me that you are indeed a fighter. You matter, you will always matter and we are here to help when you are feeling lost!💕

[langedechu in reply to Hidden]

thank you

[Hidden in reply to langedechu]

Of course!😁

[teen_anxiety]

I am sorry you are feeling like this. something that helps me is to find (or make a purpose for getting up) for example how can I make someone happy today or who's life can I bless today when you do this it makes 1 getting up worth it and 2 realizing I made a difference in someone's life makes me feel good and start to feel better

[vballen]

girllll you know you have me, even if I'm not always there. I'm trying to be! I'm sorry your hurting. your not alone.

[langedechu in reply to vballen]

hey of course i'm not tryna diss you or anything ofc its just I wish we didn't only talk through a screen you know?

[Kainan]

Hey. I care, and I know that feeling all too well. And so do many others on here who have gone though something similar. You are not alone here. Reaching out is not easy, and I admire you for taking that step.

[langedechu in reply to Kainan]

thank you.

[13ga]

lang;

i so feel ya....

you NOT alone... last few years i've felt like every fricking day i've been living in an alternate un-real reality. i've always felt like i'm from another planet.... but these last years... it's like i've been zapped into a bizzarro version of earth....

i SOOOO want to return to my home planet!!!

i've been feeling especially alone the last few months.... lost a really good friend ( we not talking currently ). my family a bunch of spits.... heads up their asses... don't want anything to do w/ them...

but someting that's helped me alot - starting to come out of my dark place... is got involved in support group - like this 1.

finding empathetic "ears" (eyes), helps... keep talkin... keep postin...

let it out...

so cutting.... assume that means cutting yourself. do you wanna talk about that? does feeling that physical pain, make you feel more alive? or is that pain more real that the pain of living day to day in a f'd up reality show?

i don't do that... i'm having enough fun w/ the day to day pain BS... :-|

[langedechu in reply to 13ga]

i guess its just me like releasing my mental pain to physical pain if that makes sense

[13ga in reply to langedechu]

tx, lang; that does help me to understand. i think i can begin to grasp that.

if you don't mind me adding my $0.02....

that sounds like a short term solution to a longer term problem. the long term problem being your mental pain.

so i guess the question i'd be asking myself... what can i do to address the mental pain, that's a more healthy path... i dont mean to sound condescending - i'm sure you know this. i'm just doing my thinking out loud... it sometimes helps me understand better, myself....

ty for sharing - i do think i have a better appreciation of your plight...

[langedechu in reply to 13ga]

that makes sense. i should try to solve my mental issues instead of making them physical. it's just I need to figure out a way to do that.

[Hatelife34 in reply to langedechu]

That’s very true cutting distracts from the mental pain and just gives physical pain ☹️

[langedechu in reply to Hatelife34]

just cuz i dont really have a way to get rid of the mental pain (yet)

[13ga in reply to langedechu]

i think you're on your way to figuring that out - you're talking about it.

good job! 1st step is admitting you need help.

have you sought out professional help?

also - i try to remind myself this: there's always music playing... we just don't always listen...

sometimes the music comes from within. sometimes it comes from outside, and we must seek it out.

[Hatelife34 in reply to 13ga]

That’s true but telling family u need help they wonder why and u might not want them know how bad ur suffering and how hopeless u feel so u try deal with it alone

[13ga in reply to Hatelife34]

hi hatelife;

whoa baby... u said a mouthful....

i hear ya.

but if your fam cares bout you - you should be able to say you don't want to talk about it, and they should just get you help simply because you asked.

just read your prof; you are NOT a disappointment. anyone that makes you feel that way is not being a positive support for you.

that spit that happened - aint your fault. hold your head high.

and if you can't get help any other way - maybe letting them know just how bad you're hurting is what it takes. do whatever it takes to get the help you want. if anyone thinks less of you for any reason - ignore them. they are NOT helping you. find people that respect you for seeking help. find people that simply respect you period.

listen to them, ignore the rest.

[langedechu in reply to 13ga]

i had a therapist last year but didn't talk to her about my problems so she just assumed I was fine. and I've told my parents but they tend to think I'm overreacting or something. I'm seeing a social worker now and I'll have my third session with him tomorrow.

[13ga in reply to langedechu]

outstanding, and GFU!!!!

just remember - you need to be your own advocate!

if this guy doesn't understand, or isnt helpful, or isnt right for you - find another. you're the employer - if he's not working for you - fire him, and hire someone who does!

let me know how you progress!

[langedechu in reply to 13ga]

for sure. thanks so much 🖤

[13ga in reply to 13ga]

F/U;

thing about therapy - you only get out what ya put in....

if you not honest w/ them; hard for them to help you...

[langedechu in reply to 13ga]

yeah for sure i know that i need to open up more haha bc last time was a fail

[13ga in reply to langedechu]

it's from failure we can learn the most!

[Hatelife34]

I know how u feel I be feeling the same way they don’t seem to care enough to realize but care enough to say they love u😔