currently sitting in the middle of the kitchen because it’s 3AM and i dont wanna do the dishes cause it’s another responsibility i have to attend to. it’s hard for me to fulfill all of my responsibilities. i’m stressed because it’s finals season at my uni and i have so much work to do and, when i’m depressed like this, it’s as if my brain can’t function. i’ve also been thinking a lot about my nonexistent love life and wondering if I’ll ever have my first boyfriend even though i have spells of depression and can be an insecure bitch. nobody likes insecure girls. I dont like insecurity. I hate it but I cant seem to develop the unwavering confidence that my other friends seem to have. my hair is a mess, I have acne, clothes are kinda shit. i live in fear instead of faith which prevents me from living the life I actually wanna live. I feel like a coward.
I feel like cutting so bad right now. godddd why cant I just be a normal human being wtf
I hate myself
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gabrielle00
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Sorry gabrielle00 that your going through a rough time. Specially hard when going through finals but the good thing is that vacations are up next. But I understand your point about leaving in fear because it’s hard to live in faith. Really been trying to live on faith but it’s been very challenging specially when you are not well. For me anxiety eats away at my soul. It goes away for a few days but surely to return. I think the best is to take advantage of those small moments when we are feeling well and dwell on them.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I am glad that you are aware of the cutting feeling but not acting upon it. It is so important not to be so hard on yourself. Depression does cause fogginess of the brain but it can be helped. Are you on medication for you depression? Do you see a counselor? Both help with getting better from depression. What helped me was learning to love who I was, controlling my negative thoughts, becoming aware of what I need, not comparing myself to others, not being judgemental, and setting realistic expectations. I also pray and believe God is in control so I don't have to worry about the future because He already knows it and it is His plans.
I also use two techniques that help me when I am struggling. The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thought. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless
hey thanks so much for checking in that’s so sweet of you. im honestly not doing the best. been a rough day today. i have so many final papers to write but my depression makes it harder for me to concentrate and think. im just stressed and wanna be done with school
How much longer do you have for school? Try to celebrate each little accomplishment. The more we focus on the good things in our life and being the better we feel and will believe those good things. Just keep doing the best you can, that is all you can ask of yourself. I am here for you if your ever need to chat. Hugs
Yeah only 5 days left that is something to look forward to. You will be able to do it. Then you can take a break and give your body and mind time to recuperate. Sometimes when there is so much going on and we feel overwhelmed our mind and body want to shut down. We need to revive (refuel) ourselves with down time and personal time. I will be praying you get that. Message me anytime. I am happy to chat. Hugs
I just wanted to say that I totally relate to the experience of not being able to keep up with household tasks (as simple as they may seem) and feeling like your brain can’t function when it comes to your work. I find myself asking why I can’t be a normal adult either. These are just some issues that have plagued me for years. I don’t have the answers for you because I’m still working through it myself. I just wanted to let you know that I can completely understand that experience.
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thanks so much for checking in that’s so sweet of you. im honestly not doing the best. been a rough day today. i have so many final papers to write but my depression makes it harder for me to concentrate and think. im just stressed and wanna be done with school
Need to vent
Need to Vent
i need to vent about something 
I just need to vent, any helpful advice?
Just needed to vent...
